Shooting The Moon
by DeepCrimson91
Summary: Sometimes destiny is hard follow. Holly Jules discovers this on a night in November when Edward Cullen stands in her room missing a shoe and a reason to live. Can she help him find both?
1. Chapter 1, Another day

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/n: This is the extended, enhanced, re-worked version of Shooting the Moon. It's still the same story, I've just rewritten odd bits and added things in, so hope you still like it.**

Another day lit the sky outside my window. The colours that filled the sky were some of my favourites: pastel shades of violet, blue and pink mixed with vivid oranges and reds in an impressive wash of colour across the blank expanse of sky. I'd always tried to catch the beauty of these sunrises on camera, but it seemed an electronic gadget could never fully capture every detail in the same way as the human eye.

I opened the window wide to let the fresh wintery air flood into my room; I knew I'd regret it later. It wasn't that I would be uncomfortable with the cool temperature because I was used to the cold, but more that the rest of the family preferred not to live in arctic conditions and so would probably moan at me. They didn't have quite the same experience of dealing with the cold, mainly because their rooms are always nice and toasty. Not mine. My room juts out from the rest of the house, giving it 3 external walls; and I have learnt over the years that it can get _very_ cold. I once woke up to find that I could actually see my own breath.

Luckily, unlike my parents, I'm a northern girl, which means I grew up with the ability to survive near sub-zero temperatures with nothing more than flimsy material covering my skin. I learnt to love the fresh feeling of the cold against my skin rather than thinking it is uncomfortable. My parents both grew up in the mild and sunny weather of Cambridge and so it had taken them longer to adapt to the cooler weather in the North of England. As for my little sister, Ashleigh, she just liked the attention she got from complaining.

With a sigh, I turned to face my room. A sumptuous, deep purple covered the walls and, to me, seemed to warm the entire room. Along the side wall was a large bed that doubled as my place relax when my friends came over to chat. Thrown across the end of the bed was a purple velvet comforter. I reached out to run my hands along the top of it, sighing at the feather soft feel under my fingertips. The comforter was my favourite thing to snuggle into if I was having a down day. Not that I had many, but there would always be those times in the month when I just wanted to curl up in velvet luxury and wallow to the sounds of melodious guitar songs and soft piano tunes. These sob sessions never lasted very long thanks to my invasive little sister. I was sure the very idea of someone enjoying a little bit of quiet time was foreign to her bubbly nature.

My eyes surveyed the rest of the room. I guess it was a typical teenage girl's room, but I liked to think that somehow it showed just a little bit of who I was. I would hate to think that a room I had lived in for 18 years showed nothing about me.

Golden and cream sheer curtains danced in the slight breeze from the open window. As my eyes continued their tour around my room, I smiled when I saw the little unique objects that really gave the room a personal touch. A crystal lamp, which I had bought when my family and I had been on holiday in Paris, sat above my bed and would shoot rainbows around my room when it was switched on. The wall opposite my bed was covered in pictures, art I'd drawn, photos I'd taken. I'd even begged Mum to let me scrawl song lyrics and literary quotes in between the pictures. Some were from historical geniuses whilst others were just silly things I'd heard either from friends or the media.

I snapped out of my distraction, created by the wall of images, and closed the window before Mum came and ranted about losing heat.

The first thing I saw as I turned was my reflection in the mirror. I knew it wouldn't be pleasant but I still recoiled from the sight. I had been out the night before and it showed all over my face. My chest-length hair was a matted mess of curls and waves all flicking in different directions.

I took a deep breath and was hit with the unpleasant odour of stale smoke with just a hint of sweat and beer.

_Lovely _I thought with a grimace.

Last night's make up still remained on my face, leaving me with smudged panda eyes and pink stained lips. Attention to my mouth reminded me of the need to brush my teeth.

"Shower. Teeth. Coffee. Damage control," I muttered to myself as I trudged to the bathroom, towel and shampoo in hand.

I turned the shower on, waiting for it to heat up; it was a known fact in our house that the shower was temperamental and had a limit of 3 hot showers. There were four people in my family so whoever was up last had to face the cold. That was just one of the many benefits of being a light sleeper. I got up early, therefore I got to have a hot shower.

As steam started to rise from behind the shower curtain, I eased myself into the shower. I sighed as the water hit my skin. There was something truly amazing about a shower the morning after. As I rinsed last night's antics off my skin I ran through the memories.

I would be the main source of what actually happened last night. No matter what happens, no matter how many drinks I have, I always remember the night perfectly. Sometimes it's a blessing, other times it's a curse. Lucky for me, last night was just a fun night out with my girls.

All my friends had come back from university. I say came back because I had decided to have a gap year and had been one of the few who stayed put in our sleepy little seaside town.

To say we were excited to be together again would be an understatement. It had taken years for me to find people I was finally comfortable with. It wasn't that I found it hard to meet people, or even that I had been hurt in the past. It just took me a while to get comfortable enough to really open myself up completely. Even then there were little things that, for some reason, I kept hidden. I would like to say there was a definite psychological explanation, but there wasn't. It was just a personality flaw that I had and no matter how much I tried to rid myself of it, it stuck with me.

My girls were a huge part of my life, so not having them with me the past few months had been weird. I didn't realise just how much I had missed them until we were all reunited last night.

I got lost in the memory of the night as the water splashed against my skin.

It had started as any other, me stressing out about what to wear and my little sister Ashleigh picking out clothes- she was a fashion obsessed 15 year old. She always managed to come up with something different after rummaging through my limited wardrobe.

The night's big outfit was my new long black, studded top. This was paired with sheer black fishnet patterned tights and my black suede over the knee flat boots. According to Ash, accessories were everything, so she went wild with silver bangles and a multi-chained necklace with sparkles and pearls. I couldn't wait to go out and catch up with the girls. We were going to the usual places. They were cheap and dirty but played amazing music and remained sleaze free. By sleaze free I mean there were no forty year old men tapping you on the ass and assuming, just because you didn't throw a punch, you liked them.

The night was a blur of drinking, dancing, laughing, and catching up. It had been the perfect combination of carefree fun and thoughtful conversation whilst our senses were saturated with the experience. Heavy air swirled with the smells of smoke, sweat and lust as it drifted around us. Strobe lights flashed scenes of people flirting with just their bodies, no words leaving their lips as they moved with the music. I embraced every second of it and by the end we were all crashed out in Sara's living room at four a.m, trying to build up the courage for the cold early morning walk home.

It was like we'd never been apart, and I was relieved I hadn't lost them to the thrills of their new lives at university. I knew they were out meeting new people and doing crazy things like stealing street signs or having trolley races, but the fact that after all those fun things they still came back and treated me as if they'd never been away showed me that our friendships had what it took to survive anything.

I finished my shower and continued my morning routine feeling clean and refreshed.

They would all have hangovers this morning, unlike me. This would mean a coffee trip. No doubt we'd all crowd into the coffee shop and steal the huge comfy sofas that sat against the back wall.

* * * * *

Ten a.m. I'd managed to spend thirty minutes, after showering, sorting through the mess that was my room. Clothes that were scattered across the floor now lay in a neat pile on my small wooden chair next to my keyboard. I may not have been good at tidying a mess completely, but I was good at making it seem as if the mess wasn't there. I liked to think of it as an organised mess. I looked around my room, smiling at the various piles of things, books, CDs, DVDs, magazines, clothes, and university prospectuses. The list was endless.

I decided to ignore the growing piles in my room and instead waste some more time wandering around looking at random things that grabbed my attention. I was good at being distracted. I could focus when I wanted to or needed to, but other than that distraction was easy.

I spent another thirty minutes just flicking through photos from the night before on my camera. It seemed Beth and Rianna had fun with a couple of guys. Jemma and Sara looked worse for wear. Luckily there weren't many of me, except a few with Shevron. She was a photo fiend and no one could escape her camera skills; not even me, and I was very accomplished in the art of camera dodging.

I never photographed well, I'd always known that. My little sister was the photogenic one, her big blue eyes and sleek blonde hair added to her cheekbones and stellar smile to make her photo perfect.

Thinking of my sister, I looked towards the photo frame that sat on my desk. It was filled with a picture of Ash and me when we were last on holiday. Her hair had been lightened by the sun and her skin had developed a golden glow making her eyes sparkle and stand out. I, on the other hand, still had pale skin except for a few temporary freckles that spread across my nose. My boring, mid-brown hair stubbornly refused to be affected by the sun. Instead of Ashleigh's beaming smile, my expression was one of nervous amusement. A small smile played out on my lips whilst my eyes showed my dislike of the camera.

I couldn't do the whole cheesy smile for the camera; it always looked forced or fake. The only decent photos of me were taken when I didn't realise the camera was on me. That millisecond when the lens could capture my laughter or happiness without me being aware of it.

I stopped looking at the photo and instead dragged my eyes upward looking straight into a pool of gold.

The image of Edward in front of me made me smile, and also feel a little embarrassed. I had been given the poster for my 18th birthday by Jemma. I had thought that I hid my Edward crush quite well, but apparently not.

I only read the Twilight books because Beth had been talking about them non-stop. Eventually she got all of us to read the saga and watch the film with her, and in the end we all fell into the Twilight fan world that was slowly spreading across the world.

Shevron was the last to be infected with our enthusiasm, but the only reason it took her so long was due to her stubborn nature and refusal to follow the crowd. One of the many reasons we loved her.

I glanced towards the Twilight books that sat on my desk stacked in an uneven pile. The covers were a little battered from being read too much. Unlike Beth, however, my love of the saga had stopped at reading the books. I didn't own anything Twilight related other than the books, the DVD and, of course, the Edward poster. The fan memorabilia and replicate items didn't interest me that much although I could see why people, such as Beth, enjoyed collecting them.

The truth was I was just in love with the story, the characters and the complete feeling of fate that runs through the storyline. I would like to say it was because the characters were well written and the plot was perfect, but that could be said for many of my favourite books. The main reason that I felt more passion for it than the other books was because I was alone and the relationship of Bella and Edward gave me that little bit of hope that most single girls want.

I had family and friends that loved me but I'd never had someone who was **in** love with me. I'd watched all my friends fall in and out of love. In some cases it was an infatuation that lasted a few weeks at most but in other cases, such as Sara's, it lasted years.

Sara and her boyfriend Josh. Their story may not have been as dramatic as that of Bella and Edward, but they had been through a lot together. They met three years ago at a music festival during the summer, and they were inseparable for the four days the festival lasted. Most of us thought it was cute, but didn't want to see Sara fall so hard so fast, just to be hurt. She didn't share our concerns. She was such a passionate person when it came to life, so even though she knew she may never see Josh again it didn't stop her from enjoying the time they had together.

As we all left on the bus to take us back home, Sara sat staring out the window. She didn't talk for the two hours we were bundled in the bus and we all knew Josh had made an irrevocable impact on her life. We just didn't know if it was for better or worse.

Two months passed and the day came for us to start year twelve at school. We were to be merged with three other schools from the area. It was a known fact that on the first day of year twelve the whole dynamic of the year group changed. The newer faces churned up the hierarchy and groups, which had existed before, shifted, split and grew. Everyone was given the chance to put the past to rest and create a new image to portray in the future. It was the day that anything could happen.

Although none of us had vocalised the excitement that first day held, it still seeped through our consciousness in small ways, such as taking a little longer to decide what to wear or smiling at people you wouldn't usually feel comfortable around.

I could almost feel the anticipation in the air as we walked into the courtyard. It was the centre of the school and the gathering place for every 12th year student in attendance, before the school bell rang out. The pebbled courtyard was filled with buzzing teenagers, all dressed in outfits that were designed to subtly impress. Each one of us felt strong and confident as we walked in our group. We had only just arrived when Sara gasped and stopped dead, a look of shock spreading on her face. Shevron, being her usual self, prodded Sara repeatedly in the arm trying to get her attention whilst I followed her gaze. There, standing with a group of people, was Josh smiling directly at us. It was the perfect romance movie moment. The scene when the two people finally find each other again after months of feeling incomplete.

Sara and Josh were inseparable since that day.

Their relationship continued to grow and endured the death of Sara's father and the emotional battle that came with her mother's cancer. Eventually when the time came for them to pick universities it made sense for them to go together. To take the steps that would start the process of them building a life together. They were young but they just knew they were meant to be. They were our Bella and Edward.

My phone beeped alerting me to a text and snapping me out of my memory.

_Coffee at 12? Usual place, I feel like crap on a cracker! Xx Shevron._

I chuckled at her choice of words. It was typical of her character. Shevron was the quirky one of the group. We could have endless laughs about the many strange but wonderful things she had done or said. A real classic was when we were at Jemma's house and Shevron, being as innocent as she is, stated that she 'loved stroking Jemma's pussy'. We knew she had meant Jemma's little black cat but the fact that she had said such a dirty thing without even realising was just too funny to ignore. She now got reminded about it constantly.

She didn't mind, that was the wonderful thing about Shevron, she never let anything get her down. She didn't act the way people thought she should. It was the little things, like when she used to take soup to school instead of sandwiches or never wearing the colours black, white or grey. She was completely unique and we all loved her for it

I checked the clock on my phone. It was now eleven so I had an hour to grab some breakfast and get into some clothes.

"Holly! Get your tush down here. It's feeding time at the zoo!" my Dad bellowed up the staircase as the smell of French toast made my mouth water.

Dad made the best French toast, ever! He said he used a special ingredient, but he refused to tell me or Ash what it is. Then again, it was Dad, so we might not want to know. He was forever coming up with different recipes or taking a normal dinner and adding his personal twist on it. Luckily, Mum stuck to simple meals so we got to eat something normal every once in a while.

"Hey, smells good, Dad." I walked into our bright kitchen and gave him a tight hug before I collected my plate and headed to the table. The kitchen was a good wake up room because it was filled with an array of bright colours.

It was Mum's idea to use the vibrant colour scheme, but Dad's to paint a whole wall bright lemon yellow and cover the rest of the walls with family photos. This included the embarrassing baby photos, naked and all. Ash and I had spent a good few hours cutting out little paper outfits to stick over our naked baby forms in a small attempt to reduce the embarrassment.

I could vividly remember Mum's expression when she returned home to find me, Dad and Ash splattered with yellow, and grinning like loons. To say she was shocked by the yellow wall would be an understatement, but in our house majority rules so it stayed to brighten our days.

"So you have fun last night? Didn't get in too much trouble, did you?" Dad winked at me. I knew he was only teasing but my cheeks flushed bright red as usual. He was always such a joker and it showed on his face. He had laughter lines around his mid blue eyes and cheeky dimples, hidden in his greying stubble, which would show up when he grinned.

"Yeah it was good. It was nice seeing everyone again. Actually, I'm supposed to meet them at twelve in the Mall, if that's alright?" I knew it wouldn't be a problem but it was an unwritten rule that you asked permission anyway. Our family relied on trust, communication and respect. It was our foundation and kept us strong.

"Sure thing Holly-berry. Your Mum and Ash are supposed to be heading into town later, and I'll be going to the pub to watch the game, so make sure you take your keys," he said as he flipped his breakfast onto a plate.

I nodded through a mouthful of yummy goodness.

Secretly, I enjoyed the times when the family were all out. Not that I didn't like spending time with them, it's just that being 18 it was nice to have some time away from them. A few quiet minutes to clear my thoughts.

"Dear God, what is that!" Dad exclaimed and I chuckled when I saw why.

"Cheers, Dad, that's really great for my self-esteem." Ash had spun into the room pinching a bite out of my breakfast before going to the fridge to get a glass of orange juice. She was still in her pyjamas which were basically just a collection of my old clothes. Black cut off sweats and one of my old strappy tops. Her hair was tied up in a messy bobble and for once she didn't have any make up on unless you counted the smudged left over mascara that gave her large black panda eyes.

"Trust me, Ash, you need no help with your self-esteem." Dad chuckled when Ash flounced across the kitchen to make some toast.

"God Dad!" she huffed.

"Love you too, Big Ears." Dad chuckled and went back to munching down his breakfast while Ash came to join us. She shrugged off Dad's little nickname, it was just his way of showing affection and we were used to it.

"Holls, can I borrow your new grey jumper?" Ash was sitting slumped in her chair with her legs wide open whilst she stuffed her face with toast. Out in public she came across as the perfect girly girl, but in the confines of the home she had some pretty manly manners.

"I haven't even worn that jumper yet." I knew she'd end up wearing it anyway but I felt like I should at least try and put up some kind of a fight.

"Come one Holls, I need to wear it. I've got nothing!" She pleaded and I was instantly worn down by her puppy dog eyes. I was far too soft when it came to Ashleigh.

"Fine, but you can't seriously think you've got no clothes. You have nearly three wardrobes full, as well as the chest of drawers in the spare room." Ashleigh just grinned when I reminded her of her vast wardrobe.

"I know but they're all old. Gotta go with the times, Holls. Fashion says grey is in, so that's what I'm going to wear." I sighed shaking my head in disbelief. Her shopping habit was, to me, a very expensive hobby but it kept her happy. Given her hormonal temper it was in the whole family's best interests to just accept her pricey pastime.

After I cleared the plate away into the sink I rushed upstairs to get ready. I'm not big on fashion so my outfit of choice was blue skinny jeans, leopard print ballet flats and a dark purple top with a bundle of gold bangles. Nothing special but it was comfortable, and that was important for me today.

I quickly swept a hairbrush through my now clean hair. It fell straight then eased into curls that rested on my shoulders and down my chest. A sweep of mascara, a dab of lip balm, and I was out the door, grabbing my big parka as I went.

It was a murky day with the weather caught between autumn and winter. The sky was filled with a haze of grey, and white, thick clouds. It wouldn't be raining but it certainly wasn't going to be sunny. Just another one of those mild, cloudy days that seemed to be a regular occasion in this small part of the world.

The coffee shop was a few minutes' walk away past all the bustling shops of my home town, Tynemouth. Sunday was market day so the train station would be filled with people selling trinkets, and that meant the town would be descended upon by tourists who had come to experience the peaceful atmosphere of the coast.

As I entered the coffee shop I took in the deep rich smell that saturated the air. I looked over to the large brown leather sofas at the back, and like always there they were.

"Holly! Come on we got you a latte!" Beth called as the others looked up.

"Have you got your camera?" Jemma asked whilst Sara looked up at me with tired eyes.

"How can you look so normal, I feel and look like a used toilet brush," she said and I could hear the effects of the hangover in her voice.

"It's the glory of genetics. Dad doesn't get hangovers so somehow I'm also immune" I grinned and they continued to talk at me until I finally got myself settled in the sofa. I took a long luxurious sip of the coffee flavoured heaven in front of me before I answered them.

"Jemma, here's the camera. There are some lovely pictures of you and Sara on there." I gave her a wide smile as she took in my sarcasm. Her face turned from laughing to a look of near mortification as she and Sara flicked through the photos. When I had seen them earlier you could see the clear progression from sober to drunk, and finally to a smiling mess on Sara's living room floor.

"So, Rianna, you heard anything from that guy last night?" I asked. She had scored a number and a kiss, but knowing Rianna it would end there. She was the girl that all the boys wanted but only the men stood a chance with. It was strange to think that before Rianna we were just innocent girls who hadn't even thought of boyfriends or going out to pull. Rianna soon changed all that. She taught Jemma how to use her girl next door looks to get the boys attention, whether that was flicking her long, straight, chocolate-coloured hair or batting her big, soft green eyes.

"Guy? What guy? I don't remember a guy," Jemma asked puzzled and Shevron gave her a slightly condescending smile.

"Jemmikins, that's not really surprising. You were too busy trying to do the worm on the dance floor." Shevron grinned at all of us whilst we giggled at the memory. Jemma was quite a sight as she attempted to break dance on the sticky floor wearing her black heels and little pink dress.

She had been so determined to try it that even if we had really tried to stop her it wouldn't have worked. Til this day I have never met anyone who could match Jemma's pure ambition and immense energy. She succeeded in everything she did.

Except break dancing.

Rianna cut in and diverted our attention back to her instead of the red-faced Jemma.

"Well my lovely little friends, as fun as he was, I prefer to go for guy who doesn't look like an ape on the dance floor. Plus his breath tasted of onions! I mean who goes on a night out and eats onions, and then kisses someone without using some kind of mint? All I ask for is a little minty freshness, is that so bad?"

We giggled at Rianna's rant. We'd all experienced the curse of bad breath. The killer was when it lingered after the moment. I shuddered at the haunting memories of the bad kisses. There had been far too many for my taste, even my first kiss had been relatively unpleasant. No one had warned me that some boys thought a kiss should resemble a washing machine. I could remember being quite disheartened that I had waited for the perfect moment and the perfect kiss only to find it was instead an awkward moment with a pretty awful kiss to top it off.

But, as the French would say, 'C'est la vie.'

* * * * *

It was five o'clock by the time I got back home. We'd dominated the coffee shop for five hours, probably scaring half the customers off with our loud laughter and silly banter.

The staff didn't seem to mind. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that the majority of the staff were male and about our age. Jemma and Rianna flirted their way out of paying for a couple of coffees whilst Shevron and I watched in awe. We never had the guts to just flirt openly with guys, no matter how much Rianna tried to get us to. Trust me she tried, a lot. She was tenacious, and once she had her mind set on something she didn't back down easily.

She never bothered Beth about catching the boys' attention purely because Beth was someone way out of Rianna advice range. She attracted them with her vibrant personality and wild nature that just seemed to pulse out of her through her big aqua eyes. Rianna, like most of us, couldn't understand the inner workings of Beth's mind so she didn't even try to teach her how to flirt. It would be like trying to channel a tornado into an enclosed space. Near impossible and far too unpredictable to try.

Flirting was easy for Rianna. She just gave off the right vibe with her dark glossy hair that stopped just below her jaw line and her dark brown eyes peeping through her side swept fringe. The guys fell for her exotic looks every time. She played her sophisticated nature to her advantage all the while maintaining the girlie impression you got from her petite height. When she saw a guy she liked she always got him. The problem was that once she had him she would lose interest. So for Rianna the challenge wasn't getting the man but keeping him.

I hummed in happiness as I opened the front door to the warmth of home, and some welcomed peace and quiet.

I slipped off my coat and shoes, switching them for my big pink fluffy slippers and padded my way into the living room. I figured I had about an hour before Ash and Mum would tumble through the door, all talk about the latest fashions and whatever sale they had raided.

What to do with an hour, 60 minutes, 3600 seconds.

There was really only one thing I wanted to do.

Listen to music and chill out on the sofa. It might not be very active or productive, but it was one of my favourite pass times.

I dashed upstairs and grabbed my iPod. I hesitated as I went to leave my room glancing at my art book. I hadn't used it in several years ever since I stopped doing art at school. Not that I didn't still love to draw, but more that I just didn't have time. Studies came first, and that wiped out anytime to indulge my creative side. I decided it was time I started again.

I sunk into the large black sofa in our back room and turned on my iPod. The first song that played was 'Fireflies' by Owl City. It was my new favourite at the moment and I couldn't help the smile that spread on my face as I listened to the lyrics.

As the music filled my ears I started to draw out a simple landscape.

I was in no way an artist, but I liked the feeling of being inspired. The form didn't matter to me. It could be art, literature, or music. Whatever it was, if it was creative, I liked it. My parents often said that I was like a walking contradiction because although creativity captured my heart, it was logic and science that captured my mind. To others it may have been a contradiction but to me it made perfect sense. In my mind the two interests and passions balanced each other perfectly.

As my sketch came to an end I took in the final result.

Two figures standing hand in hand as they looked out over a cliff towards the glassy sea. Trees framed them on either side and I drew flowers dotted throughout a small clear path. The picture before me tugged at my heart strings. It was my ideal, just being with someone and taking in the simple beauties of life.

I huffed and shoved the picture aside switching my iPod to something a bit more upbeat. It had somehow drifted into the more solemn realms of my music taste, all acoustic love songs and slow indie tracks.

Now was time for the best pick me up around. Crazy dancing. I threw myself into it as usual. Jumping around like Tigger on speed whilst spinning on the spot and thrashing my arms about to the tunes of 3Oh!3. After a few minutes I spun round to find Ash and Mum staring at me as they tried to hide their laughter.

"Hey there, twinkle toes, let me show you this new fabulous top that I got." Ash grinned flashing a Topshop bag, grabbing my hand and dragging me upstairs.

I slumped on my bed and waited patiently for the fashion show to begin. Maybe it was just because I had been thinking about Twilight earlier in the day, but for the first time I realised that Ash was a lot like Alice. Not in looks, but definitely in personality. Then again, I doubt even Ashleigh could be quite as excitable as Alice appeared in the book.

"So what do you think?" she squealed excitedly, twirling to show off her new favourite item. It was a baggy white crop top with pretty little red flowers on it. Not my taste but it did show off her figure. That being long legs and a flat stomach. She was lucky, she wasn't quite as developed as me. She was only 15 and so didn't have the extra curves you get later in your teens. Not that I'm complaining as such, I was happy with my body. It just didn't suit the more relaxed style that was popular at the moment. Crop tops hung off my ample chest making me look like a tent. I did, however, love the skinny jeans and high waist skirts. They showed off my legs and small waist and gave me, what Sara would claim was, the perfect hour glass figure. Not that any of the guys noticed, I didn't flaunt it a lot.

"It's really nice, Ash. It'll go great with that new skirt you got from the fashion show. Anyway, have you started reading Eclipse yet?"

"Oooooo yeah! I haven't got very far though it yet, but it's good. Emily's already told me the whole story though. Is it true they have a kid?" When she said the last bit her face turned into a slight frown.

"Erm yeah, I know it sounds a bit weird but its fine once you get used to it. I just hated it when it all ended, it's kind of sad don't you think? When you finish the book. Especially when it's the last one in the series." I remembered when I turned the last page of Breaking Dawn, not wanting it to be over but wanting to know that it ended happily.

Of course it did, and of course I held back the tears. They were the perfect couple and would have the perfect eternity. I have to say I might not be on a team, you know the deal team Edward or team Jacob, but I had to admit it. Bella was a lucky girl.


	2. Chapter 2, Life in the Jules residence

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Hopefully any grammar and spelling mistakes have been removed.**

Family time in the Jules residence.

As always, we gathered in the back room. My parents were squished on the large black sofa, whilst Ash was sprawled out on the floor, and I lounged legs up on the smaller couch. We were watching some melodramatic soap opera and laughing at the plot line.

"Ow, woman, watch where you put that elbow. Honestly, when you said cuddle up on the sofa, I thought that meant you would sit on the sofa, not me." Dad was ranting as usual about any affection Mum showed him.

Mum (Sandra) met my Dad (Jason) in her twenties. It took her seven years for her to get him down the aisle. Not that she ever complained. They seemed to just spend their time together travelling the world since they had no need to settle down. That was until I came along. Mum always claimed I was the one to finally tame my wild, 'rock star' father. I say rock star but that only extends to him playing guitar with a couple of guys in a band at the local pub and having his ear pierced.

Once I was born, Mum trained as a nurse after a string of casual office jobs. Dad took a little longer to figure out what he wanted to do, but he eventually went to university and became a HR manager for my uncle's company. He still complained about just doing 'hiring and firing', but we knew his complaints were just a front. It was just another mechanism he used to not reveal too much happy emotion, because he basically just liked playing the grumpy old man role.

All in all, our life was fairly average, four-bedroom house, one car, that kind of thing.

"Well, I'm off to bed," I yawned.

"Are you serious? It's only nine," Ash exclaimed as she lolled about on the fluffy, grey carpet.

"Deadly serious. Last night's late bedtime is catching up on me, so I think sleep would be a good idea." I was tired, but that wasn't the main reason for me going to bed so early. I liked the time to think. I say think but really it was dreaming.

"Getting old, Holls, losing your youthful stamina." Ash smirked and went back to watching the TV whilst I chuckled at her comment.

"Holls, darling, remember me and Dad are at work tomorrow, so could you get some dinner sorted for when we come in?" Mum said as she gave me a kiss on the head.

"Sure, but I can't promise that it'll be edible," I warned them.

They laughed; it was a known fact I wasn't the greatest cook. I mean, who manages to burn pasta?

"Night, Big Nose!" Dad shouted as I left the room. He was such a loving Dad. Sense the sarcasm. To be fair, he was always like that. I was usually Big Nose or Holly-berry, and Ash was Big Ears or Blondie.

Mum preferred to stick to more traditional pet names. The cute ones like poppet, darling, and sweetheart. She was always more conventional than Dad, and it fit the dynamic of our family well. Dad supplied the laughs, and Mum gave us more of the emotional support side of things.

I trudged upstairs towards my bedroom. I quickly turned on the bathroom light as I passed it so it wasn't as dark, because bathrooms freaked me out. The scary ghosts always lived in the bathroom, or people always got attacked in the bathroom. It was an irrational fear, but turning the bathroom light on was a habit I had gotten into from a young age. Ever since I walked into the living room whilst Dad was watching a film and accidentally saw the murder scene in Psycho.

Once I got into my room I knew it was colder than usual, but I thought nothing of it. The central heating in this house had been on the brink of breaking for the past few months now, so I had gotten used to the unreliable temperature.

_Time for the beastie PJs, _I thought happily.

They were the pyjamas I always wore in the winter, even if they looked ridiculous.

I stripped off my jeans and top, but for some reason I felt uneasy wandering around in just my underwear. The feeling of being watched sent thrills through my body, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I spun in my room, looking towards the door, but no one was there. I relaxed and felt my eyes drop to the left from the door to the poster of Edward.

_He really is beautiful_.

I knew I wouldn't say no. If you know what I mean *wink wink* *nudge nudge*.

I laughed at myself for being freaked out by the eyes on a poster, whilst I grabbed my PJs and slipped into them. It was fleecy heaven.

I went to the mirror to take off my makeup, and my reflection confirmed that I looked ridiculous. My pyjamas were a gift from a couple of Christmases ago, and although I loved them, I could admit they had to be altered a little to fit my more womanly frame.

In my honest opinion, I thought I was wearing God's greatest creation. The Onesie.

That's right, me, an 18 year old, was wearing an outfit that made me look like an overgrown baby. To be fair, the onesie was baby pink with leopard print buttons so not exactly of the baby variety. It was definitely not sexy, but it wasn't like I had anyone to impress.

I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin, taking one last look at the door that let a slit of light through into my room.

I was safe, and warm, and in my onesie. Life was good.

I didn't know what the time was when I woke up, but I did know it was not when I wanted to wake up. My eyes struggled with the darkness as I tried to see something in the pitch black. Just as my eyes started to make out the vague details of my room, I felt a slight breeze brush against my face. I looked towards the window but it was closed. Of course, now I wasn't going to get any sleep. I tried to close my eyes and saw my mind already creating ghoulish images to taunt me with.

_No sleep for me tonight then._

I groaned and turned to my side to turn on my lamp. As warm light flooded my room, I huffed off my covers and moved over to my keyboard that stood in the corner of my room. I plugged in the headphones and picked a sound that pleased me. I nearly always went for the piano. The strange thing was that I'd not heard a decent piano played in years. My Auntie used to have one in her hallway, but it was never in tune whenever I tried to tinker with it.

I laid my fingers on the keys and started to play out a rough version of 'Mad World'. It wasn't a particularly hard song to play, but I loved the simplicity of it. I could hear the lyrics playing through my mind as my fingers played over the keys. They created a wonderful story in my mind of everyday life through a child's eyes, their innocence and difference of perception.

As I came to the end of the song, I got the same feeling of being watched, and again I looked towards the door but found nothing. I turned the keyboard off so I could concentrate. Something caught my attention out the corner of my eye, and I turned to focus on it.

My Edward poster seemed different. The position was the same but his eyes didn't seem flat. The gold seemed to be more than just ink on paper. I blinked and stood to look closer.

I ran my fingers over the area that seemed different, but it had changed back to normal in the time it had taken for me to blink.

_Lack of sleep is making me go cuckoo._

I took one last look at the poster and headed back to bed. Perhaps something was wrong with me, there had to be for me to be hallucinating.

As I turned the lamp off, I snuggled down deeper into my bed. I still felt uneasy.

The rest of the night passed without event until the morning when I stretched and groaned as I woke up.

_Time for another day._

I turned on my phone and checked the messages. Most of them were from Jack, with a few from the girls.

Jack was a guy who went to my school. We never really talked, but when I was out he saw me and decided I was now worth talking to. It bugged me a little, but I figured it couldn't hurt to give him a chance. Of course I was wrong.

I now woke up to at least three texts from Jack and would get another four (minimum) throughout the day, whether I replied to them or not. He was well known for being a player, so I knew to keep my distance. The problem was that he was always taking a step forward, even though I took a step back. I knew at some point I would hit a wall and wouldn't be able to go back any further. A time would come when I would have to hurt him, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I hated inflicting pain on anyone, or anything for that matter.

I knew I didn't have plans today, but I figured I would take a walk and go visit my favourite place. After showering I continued to get dressed, throwing on another pair of jeans and my scruffy, fitted Ramones t-shirt. I paused for a moment, looking out the window. It was a clear crisp winter's day, and the sky was clear for once. The sun was low in the sky but still shining.

A dewy mist covered the grass in our average-sized garden, and the apple tree was nothing but bare twigs covered in dewdrops that twinkled slightly in the early morning light. Its branches twisted and turned, forming perfect perches that my little sister and I used to climb. I was always the one to climb the highest, always trying to get closer to the sky that stretched above.

My eyes dragged from the apple tree across the rest of the garden. Mum had always tried to plant things that would make the garden beautiful all year round. Unfortunately, the weather in the Northeast of England had other ideas. The combination of mild summers and cold winters meant that the weather was nearly always cloudy. Sometimes we would get lucky and have a clear, sunny day, but there were never enough of them to create the ideal conditions for growing pretty flowers.

It was whilst I was staring out my window that I felt it again, that feeling on the back of my neck. This time I knew not to look at the door; instead I instantly spun to stare at the poster.

I rushed forward as I saw the eyes were brighter, full of life. I brushed my hand against the edge of the poster. It felt cold. I stared into Edward's eyes, watching as they started to fade back to normal.

"What is this?" I whispered to myself. I waited a moment as I felt the texture, and temperature, of the paper return to normal.

I huffed and grabbed my school leavers' hoodie before rushing out of my room and down out the front door.

_Perhaps the fresh air will clear away some of the crazy in my mind_

I spent hours thinking through what was going on with the poster. The scenery of the cove surrounding me helped to calm my imagination.

My family and I used to come here all the time when I was younger to walk our dog, Puddles, when he was still alive. The high cliffs that loomed over the small cove didn't scare me. I could remember climbing them with Ash. We used to pick icicles off in winter and scaled the steep cliffs in summer like little daredevils whilst Mum called for us to come down. Her voice was always full of anxiety due to the height I was reaching. When I really thought about it, I had been lucky not to fall. I hadn't even thought about the risks when I was younger.

The sun was starting to set, even though it was only five.

Seagulls flew through the air out at sea as the sky turned a vivid shade of violet blue with pink streaks slicing through it. The salty coastal air cleared my head of all the questions buzzing through it.

I took one last look at the open sea in front of me and headed home via the winding steps up the side of the cliffs. It was time to get in touch with my domestic side.

Dinner was eventful. I had attempted to make lasagne, so the rest of the family walked into a house filled with the smell of burnt tomato and singed cheese. Ash, of course, wolfed it down. She had always liked her food. The good thing was that she did sports to burn it off, which also helped to burn off her competitive side - something the whole family was glad for. I'm competitive, but in a quiet way. Ash was loud, and also a bit of a sore loser.

I had taken one last look at the poster when I came in to go to sleep. There was nothing out of the ordinary; however, that was an hour ago and I still couldn't sleep. I had taken to counting sheep and I was currently at 127, but they just kept coming.

I couldn't get the memory of those gold glowing eyes out of my mind. Along with the memory came the feeling of uneasiness, causing my mind to buzz in the darkness of my room.

I couldn't say how long I stayed in this state of reluctant alertness, but thankfully by 200 sheep I was losing grip on reality and swiftly slipped into dream land.

_I'm cold. Why am I cold? My hand is freezing. Stupid England, stupid central heating, stupid room._

I opened my eyes groggily.

My hand was outside my covers but no longer cold, just regular Holly temperature. I closed my eyes again, feeling myself drifting into sleep. It was then that I heard it.

A sigh, like a small sigh of relief. It was so quiet I almost mistook it for a faint whisper of the wind outside. Almost, but not quite.

I heard a faint shift of weight. To someone who didn't know my room, it would have been silent, but I had spent 18 years sleeping here. I knew when there was someone in my room.

I rolled slowly to my side where my lamp switch was. I tried to act as if I were still asleep, keeping my breathing even. If someone was coming to do me in, I wanted to at least have the chance to look my murderer in the eye.

In one swift movement I flicked my light switch and turned. I was only fast enough to see a shoe pass through the poster on my wall. I grabbed at it, only just managing to hold on to it as its owner flew through the wall. Literally ran THROUGH the wall.

I thumped on my bed and stared at the shoe I now held in my hand. It was black leather with no laces, but other than that I couldn't say what kind of shoe it was. It was very nice though, and a size 11 according to the barely worn sole.

_Ha you know what they say about a man with big shoes..._

'_Big... feet.'_

I smirked at my dirty mind; it popped up every now and then. I blamed Jemma for it.

I looked at the shoe for what seemed like hours, but really it was probably just minutes. I don't know what I was expecting to happen. Maybe a name tag would appear, and the mystery would be solved.

I went to stand in front of the poster, since that was where the 'thing' had escaped. I stared hard into the golden eyes that seem to look right back at me.

"Come on, don't you want your shoe back? You'll look like an idiot if you wander around with one shoe. Plus your foot will get cold. Maybe you'll end up with frost bite. That would hurt. I would hate to have frost bite. Your foot could fall off and then you'd be stuck with a peg leg," I babbled.

_Great, now I'm rambling and talking to a poster. I really am an idiot._

The little voice in my head chipped in. The logical side that was certain what I just saw didn't happen.

I looked at the clock. It was one a.m. I'd only been asleep for three hours, tops. If I went to sleep now I might be less of zombie in the morning.

_But what about the shoe? _My mind thought mournfully.

I couldn't just leave the shoe. It was the only evidence I had to prove that I didn't just imagine it all. It was with that thought that I grasped the shoe and curled myself around it, hugging it to my body.

_Nobody is going to get this shoe. _I smiled to myself and my stupid little thought.

_Who the hell is protective of a damn shoe?_ It was with that thought that I finally drifted off.

It wasn't long before I felt something cold against my skin for the second time in the night. The difference was that this time it wasn't on my hand. It was against my arm, gradually pulling it away from my body.

_Oh hell no! You are not having this shoe!_

My eyes flew open as I flicked the light switch on yet again, and the cold presence disappeared from my arm instantly. I leapt out of bed, spinning round to finally see who was waking me up. To say I was mad would be an understatement. I needed sleep. I liked sleep. I growled in annoyance as I took the chance to finally look at my opponent. I ignored everything else as I put all my limited energy into scowling at Edward Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3, This is a dream

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

This is a dream.

It has to be a dream.

This can't be real.

There was only one thing that contradicted my opinion of it being a dream, and that was that I was awake. The faint sting of tiredness in my eyes told me that.

That left only a few options. Either the Edward figure before me was a mirage or just very good hallucination. Perhaps my brain created him due to my lack of sleep. Maybe I was going crazy. Then again, if insanity meant seeing visions of Twilight characters it couldn't be that bad; a little weird but not horrific. I was sure there were worse things you could hallucinate than a godlike creature in your room.

I reached down to grab my pillow. I had an idea for testing my hallucination theory because in reality, as nice as this hallucination was, I didn't like the idea of going crazy. It had a bit too much of a stigma attached to it for my liking. I was sure life would be a lot easier if I wasn't followed around by Twilight characters that were conjured up by my brain.

In one swift motion I launched the pillow at Edward, and watched as he registered it coming towards him but let it hit him. He stared at me with a look that showed he was blatantly questioning my sanity.

The pillow hadn't passed through him as I thought it would. I almost wished it had. It would be easier to comprehend that I was going crazy than any of this being real.

My mouth dropped in shock as I properly took in the scene before me. Edward was staring at me with what could only be described as a weird mix of shock, worry, confusion, and (although I thought it unlikely) fear.

I could feel my mouth hanging open as I slowly turned to look down at the shoe grasped in my hand and then to his feet. He had on one shoe and a sock.

My eyes slowly travelled up his body. After all, it's not every day something like this happens, I wanted to take my time.

He was standing stone still; it seemed anxiety of what was to come next had turned him rigid.

He was wearing dark blue jeans that fitted his slim waist. Next was the dark grey sweater that hugged his muscular chest and showed off his pale white skin. His shoulders were broad which gave him a perfect masculine figure. He was well-built, and his top hugged his chest showing that he had more muscle definition than any of the other boys I knew. He had the lanky frame of a teenage boy but somehow he still looked like a man, nothing like the pubescent guys I hung round with.

I'd left his face until last, after all isn't that what Bella had done? She was a smart girl, so surely following her lead was a good idea.

I felt my mouth close, and a large gulp passed down my throat.

His strong jaw line begged to be kissed. His lips were perfectly pouted. His hair made my fingers tingle with the urge to run them through it, and his eyes...

His eyes left me as a pool of goo on the floor.

_Damn that boy is beautiful!_

_That boy can also read my thoughts...Must keep the drooling to a minimum_..._So pretty._

_Damn! Why is it so hard to think of nothing?_

I felt my cheeks colour up as I desperately hoped he didn't hear my thoughts whilst I was ogling him.

His gaze flitted across my face, obviously taking in my embarrassment. His eyes then took in the rest of me. I followed his lead and looked down.

_Oh dear god, I'm in my onesie!_

I didn't think it was possible for me to get redder, apparently I was wrong.

"Hello."

I swear to God I nearly shivered at the sound of his voice. It was honey sweet and velvet soft, pure heaven.

_Down girl!_

"Erm, h-heylo," I stuttered.

"Excuse me?" he questioned. A brief smile flitting across his face before it returned to a blank mask.

"I meant to say hello or hey, but came out with heylo instead," I stammered in my boring human voice.

"May I ask why you tried to assault me with a pillow?" He tilted his head slightly in confusion at my form of greeting him.

"Erm...I thought you were just a by-product of me going crazy. You know, like a hallucination," I said, chewing on my lip in a show of nerves.

"I can assure you I'm real, so if hallucinating was your only reason for diagnosing yourself insane, I think you can consider yourself relatively normal." He smirked and I didn't miss the fact that he had said 'relatively' normal. I did not like having my sanity questioned by a character from a book, someone who shouldn't even exist. So what if I had stolen his shoe, then thrown a pillow at him, whilst wearing a baby's outfit, and finally been so tongue tied I created a new form of greeting that made me look like a half-wit. All this done with hair that I was pretty sure wasn't in a state of sexy disarray.

Did any of these things give him—a fictional being—the right to question my normality?

...Maybe.

I flipped my sleep messed hair back, and crossed my arms as I tried to gain some composure.

"So you're Edward Cullen, and this is your shoe, yes?" I held myself with false confidence as I tried to win back some dignity.

"Yes, that is my shoe. May I ask how you know who I am?" His voice was colder than before and he hadn't moved from his tensed position on the opposite side of my room.

"Not until you tell me how, and why, you are in my room? You're the intruder so I think I deserve some answers before I tell you anything."

Like hell was I giving away all the information while being left in the dark.

"That seems a fair trade. The why of it is simple. You took my shoe, and like you said earlier I would look rather odd missing a shoe." He smirked, satisfied with his teasing.

_Edward Cullen is teasing me!_

"How is a little harder to explain. I was sitting in my room. I had just fitted my new mirror; it was a present that had been bought from Indonesia. After a few hours the reflective surface changed, and became a two way mirror. That's the only way I can explain it, instead of seeing my clear reflection, there was a room faintly in the background; your room, it would appear."

His face showed that he was wary about telling me this. He wouldn't quite look me in the eye when he explained about being able to see into my room. I thought of when I first felt I was being watched.

"You! You were watching me when I was getting changed. Like the little show, did you? If I'd known someone was watching maybe I would have picked a nicer set. Hmmm... you got any favourite colours?" I hissed this at him as I glared daggers at his beautiful face. He seemed a little shocked at my outburst. As if perving on a girl was supposed to be a compliment. He might be a god of a man, but I drew the line at being watched without being aware of it.

"I sincerely apologise if I've upset you, but I promise you I did not watch you getting undressed." He seemed sincere, but then again this was Edward Cullen. He was a good liar. Of course I should have realised, if he really was Edward Cullen the idea of him playing peeping tom seemed a little out of character. Sure, he had practically stalked Bella and watched her sleep without her knowing, but he was always a gentleman when it came to the whole privacy thing. Stephenie never wrote about him watching Bella getting undressed or showering. I relaxed a bit once I had thought it through.

"Now _please_ tell me, how do you know who I am?" His voice had a desperate edge to it, and I felt a little bad for holding out on him. He had a family to be concerned about so it made sense that he would be anxious to get an explanation for my knowledge of him. It was drilled into him to keep his existence a secret, and here I was telling him that I knew who he was without him having any idea how.

"I can't explain how I know who you are, but I can tell you what I know..."

"Why?" His question was quick and sharp; cutting through the confidence I had lulled myself into.

"Because it's, like, three in the morning and I like sleep," I said, sending a short glare at him as he huffed. It had said nothing in the book about him being so petulant. Then again, Bella had never had anything to really argue with him about. She had never really had a need or want to tell him 'no'. Maybe he was a little too used to getting his way. So although confrontation may not have been in my nature, I wasn't going to just play the submissive role.

He didn't make any other attempt to interrupt me so I gave him a business-like smile and gestured towards the cushioned chair opposite me.

"OK, so I'll give you the basics, and then I'm off to sleep." I knew sleep was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact it was hard to even consider closing my eyes against his beautiful appearance. However, I knew it was the sensible thing to do. I could barely keep my eyes open and falling asleep in my bed was better than eventually collapsing in a zombie like heap on the floor.

I settled into my bed waiting for him to choose a place to sit. He ignored my suggested comfortable seat instead choosing to sit in the simple chair next to my keyboard, waiting silently for me to start. I had never seen anyone capable of being so still but then again Stephenie Meyer had written that the vampires were capable of becoming like living statues. It was just a little odd seeing it in reality.

"Oki doki then. So, your name is Edward Cullen. You live with six other people. Carlisle and Esme, who are your adoptive parents. Along with Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett who are you adopted siblings. They're all together. You live in Forks, Washington, and although the rest of your family are together you have been single for a long time. Not that there hasn't been interest."

I paused to give him a knowing look. He had the whole female population ofForksHigh Schoolgagging to jump his bones, so he couldn't blame his lack of past love life on not getting any attention.

"However, you are now in love with a girl named Isabella Swan, or Bella." I smiled at the thought of them together. _I wonder if they have Renesmee yet?_

I stopped my pondering and got back to reciting everything I knew about the character in front of me.

"You play piano, and own a silver Volvo along with an Aston Martin Vanquish. You don't have many friends outside your family other than the Denalis and Bella. You originally grew up inChicago, but both your parents died. Your mother's name wasElizabeth, and your father's was Edward." I took a deep breath, and looked toward Edward. He looked stunned to say the least.

"W-wha-ho.. I I."

Wow, I've made Edward Cullen speechless.

"I haven't gotten to the heart of it yet, the big finale, are you ready?" I didn't wait for his reply.

"You're a vampire, and you're 109 years old-ish, even though you're biologically only 17," I continued. His eyes widened at this. They looked like they were going to pop out the sockets any second.

"Oh, and you read minds." It felt like landing the knockout punch. I had him floored, and damn if it didn't feel good.

A low growl echoed in his chest. I gripped my covers a little tighter at the animalistic sound. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage though I tried to keep my surface calm.

It seemed Edward registered my fear because the growl eased and his expression changed from 'your-death-is-imminent' to 'I'll-just-burn-you-with-my-eyes-instead'.

Edward's liquid eyes glared at me for what seemed like an eternity. I tried to glare back at first, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I just felt uncomfortable even trying. Mainly because I looked like a bit of an idiot. I wasn't about to draw attention to myself when I was in this state. I mean, I couldn't take _myself_ seriously, so I doubted Edward would find my glare anything but pathetic.

Since I couldn't look at him, I took to burying myself in my covers to try and quell the embarrassment of wearing my onesie. Once I was settled I let my eyes wander around my room, looking at various objects that caught my attention. Better than having my attention on _him_. God knows what would run through my mind if that happened. I looked at the poster for the tenth time since Edward had appeared. Rob Pattinson was gorgeous and had a good resemblance to the godlike creature currently sitting on my simple chair, but there was something missing. Real life Edward had something that actors could only try to copy, and fail. That allure, confidence, special something. I couldn't really describe it, but it definitely made him seem like something so much more than human.

"You're wrong," he muttered belligerently but he soon buried his anger under the surface, much to my appreciation.

"Not about the majority of it, which is disconcerting, but you're definitely wrong about one thing. I am not in love with a girl called Isabella Swan. I know of no vampire called Isabella Swan. I'm on my own." His voice sounded almost wounded. I felt my elevated mood drop slightly.

"I never said she was a vampire. She's human." I ducked my head to meet his gaze. His golden eyes were swimming with confusion before they hardened to a steely glare. It seemed he didn't want to show any weakness to, me, the mere human.

"I will not fall for a human. They're weak, and too easily killed. I can't risk hurting an innocent." His voice was strong, and defiant, but I knew he would buckle when he met Bella. It was fate, and he wouldn't be able to fight it.

"So typical," I huffed and it only seemed to spark his temper.

"If you know I'm a vampire, how can you stand to be in the same room as me? Why haven't you screamed and run?"

I sat still, calm and collected as he advanced towards me. I'd let him play out his little act; it was obviously something he felt he needed to do. It was rather impressive, and if I knew nothing about him I would imagine that I'd be scared to the point of passing out right now. The way his eyes raged with angry fire and his face set in a cool and inhuman mask was enough to show the predator underneath, and the danger he could become if his fury took over. However, I knew it wouldn't because he was Edward, and no matter how much furniture he had decimated in the _Twilight_ _Saga_, he never harmed a human.

"You're vegetarian, and by the colour of your eyes you're not thirsty, so why should I run? And as for humans being weak... Physically compared to you it may be true, but don't you _dare_ use that as an excuse. I think you're more afraid that you'll be the one who's weak and slip from your diet."

I had to work hard not to raise my voice, waking the family would not be a good idea. Not that they would find Edward. I was pretty sure he was too fast to let that happen. More that Ash was like an angry bear that's been kicked out of hibernation when she get's woken up. She kind of looked like one too.

Edward was back to sitting with a sour look on his face after my rant. It was obvious in the books that he was stubborn, and it was coming through now. He thought he was right, but I knew just how wrong he would discover himself to be.

"Look, you've got your answers and your shoe. I'm sure now you can go home safe in the knowledge thatAliceisn't going to rip you to shreds. Now, if you don't mind I'm going to sleep. Please don't stay, because I am very aware that there is a high chance I will unwittingly embarrass myself. If you care to talk more, I'll be quite happy to oblige tomorrow at a more reasonable time than the middle of the night. Goodnight Edward." With that said I buried myself back into my previous snug position. In my opinion Edward could rant and rave as much as he wanted, because once I got back into my little piece of comfort heaven there was no way I was continuing the conversation and he would be left talking to himself.

I brought the covers back up around my ears and took a large steadying breath. I was trying desperately to keep myself calm, but I could feel the weird buzzing excitement below my surface. This just wasn't something that happened in my ordinary life.

Edward's expression had become a polite mask once again. He was going to comply with my request, but I could see the questions burning behind the cool surface. I had a fairly strong feeling that I would be seeing him again tomorrow which made the butterflies in my stomach flutter wildly.

I flipped off the light and plunged myself into darkness.

I heard him give a frustrated sigh from next to the poster.

"Goodnight...Wait, what is your name? You didn't tell me."

"I know. Now sshhhh. Go wrestle some goats, or something."

I heard something similar to a chuckle, although it was too strained to be completely relaxed.

"Goodnight."

His soft voice caressed my tired eardrums, and I sighed a little before strangling it in my throat, so instead it came out as a gurgle.

_Great, I think the sigh would actually have been better. Now I'm just some gurgling human girl. IN A ONESIE!_


	4. Chapter 4, Divulging and decisions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It would be fair to say I slept horribly last night. Every time I would feel myself drifting off, I lurched awake. I was in a near constant state of worrying that Edward's curiosity would get the better of him and he would sneak back into my room. I didn't want him to go all creep-tastic on me. Some girls may like the idea of some strange guy watching them sleep, but me? Not so much.

I realise Edward wasn't a stranger. He was in the sense that I'd never met him, but what does that matter? I knew everything about him. If anything he probably thought of me as some weird, demented human with a stalker crush on him. I certainly fit the profile. I knew every tiny detail about him and had a large poster of him in my room.

Still, the idea of him seeing me sleep and being able to encroach on my private thoughts was too risky. The memory of him was too fresh in my mind, and the way my imagination was going, he would have ended up listening to my dreams and seeing nothing but pure smut. Of course that would have him storming off in disgust, never to be seen again. I knew it was irrational, but I had a feeling the lack of his presence would make me sad, since he was so pretty to look at.

After a restless night, I now sat on my bed with blurry eyes, and my wet hair taking on a mind of its own. I decided it might be nice to have a little dignity today so had opted not to wear my onesie. Instead, I was wearing a large grey jumper with black lace tights and grey knee high socks. Comfortable and cosy, it was quite an achievement given I had created the look without Ashleigh's expert advice.

The minutes ticked by, and I started to wonder where he was.

Did we even set a time?

I couldn't remember. I was too tired at the time for my mind to function properly.

_Oh god! I didn't tell him when to come._

Great. I was going to end up sitting here all day like an imbecile waiting for a fictional character to step out of his poster.

_I'm an idiot._

My imagination had obviously dreamt this up, either that or gone crazy with too much caffeine, or lack of sleep. To think I had tricked myself into thinking he actually existed.

_Holly, you absolute numpty. _The little voice in my head chipped in, definitely another sign to show me that I was losing my marbles. I had gotten to the point of not only having a vivid dream of a fictional character, but also developing another voice in my mind.

A wash of sadness went through me. Could I really have imagined such a surreal event as what I thought happened last night? It seemed very unfair of my mind to play such a trick on me. It may have been a result of insanity, but I had felt a weird kind of excitement at the possibility of seeing Edward again.

I didn't want to just give up on the idea that what had happened last night was real.

I stared at the poster.

Nothing.

"Come on!" I said, frustrated mostly with my lack of intelligence.

Still nothing.

One last try.

Just one last ditch-attempt before I wiped it from my memory.

"Howay, Eddie boy, get your ass out here!" I let my usually neutral accent take on the northern edge that was common here.

The poster's eyes started to glow, becoming almost hypnotic. Next thing I knew, the image of Edward's face melted away to reveal a misty film that swirled and churned in front of me. I stepped back in astonishment as Edward stalked towards me through the bubble like screen.

"Do. Not. Call me. Eddie!" His voice was chilling as he spoke through clenched teeth. His face was a mask of anger, cold and hard.

"I didn't." I kept my voice light, trying hard to hide the fear he had actually placed in me.

"I called you Eddie _boy_**.**" I winked at him, hoping my teasing would lighten the mood. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but talking was so much easier when the person you're talking with wasn't trying to burn a hole through your head with their glare.

_Please don't squish me._ The feeble thought floated through my head, and I saw Edward tense then relax.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. It's just a certain member of my family seems to like calling me Eddie." He shuddered slightly as he said the name then gave me a weak smile.

"Would this certain someone be Emmett?" I chuckled.

It wasn't really a question and I didn't need an answer so I continued to talk, trying desperately to ignore my body's reaction to him. His smile. His body...

"I'm Holly Jules by the way." I held out my hand, and he shook it gingerly. His skin was cool and stone hard, but somehow it didn't feel like rock. Just different. Good different.

"Anyway, as you found out yesterday I know a lot about you, your past and present...etcetera. So, as much as I would love to tell you everything, I need to know what is happening in your world first." I settled myself down on my bed and patted the space beside me.

I had to admit I was a little disappointed that he chose to instead sit in the chair he had occupied yesterday. I knew my disappointment was irrational. He most likely wasn't trying to be offensive, just cautious. He was, after all, a vampire and I was very much still human.

"I'm assuming that you believe we live in different worlds, yes?" I nodded in agreement to his statement. It wasn't just that I believed it; I knew it for a fact. There's no way someone like him could live in my mundane world, especially not when 'Twilight fever' was fast spreading across the globe.

"The date when I was last in my world was November 2nd, 2004." I smiled at the fact that he was cooperating, even if it was begrudgingly. Talking this through would be the only way we could understand what was going on. I also registered that he was 105 instead of my first assumption of 109.

"Forks High School, which my siblings and I attend, has been closed for a week due to the holidays. We start school again this coming Monday. My family have lived in Forks for two years now, and so I will be a junior this year along with Alice. There is a rumour circling that Chief Swan's daughter is arriving in Forks this weekend and so will be starting school midterm on Monday for the rest of the junior year," he continued before I halted his monologue with a raise of my hand.

This was just the beginning of the Twilight story, and apparently it was starting a couple of months early since Bella was arriving in November rather than January. It was obvious to me now why Edward had not heard of a Bella Swan when I last spoke to him. The news of her arrival wouldn't have reached the Cullens, either that or Edward chose not to listen to human gossip. The latter seemed highly likely given the apparent boredom he portrayed for the human race.

"Edward, on Monday you should probably be careful. Go hunting Sunday night, maybe even Monday morning as well. As for the time difference, it seems we are on the same dates but five years apart. It's 2nd November 2009 here in Tynemouth, North East England. What time was it when you left?"

"Eleven in the morning," Edward answered automatically. It was eleven here as well so that meant there was no time difference. This alone proved we were in two different worlds because otherwise he would be eight hours behind and on the same day.

Edward seemed to process this information and then turned to me with suspicion colouring his perfect features.

"What will happen on Monday? Why do I need to hunt?" I could tell these were just a few of the questions flying through his mind. I would be the same if I were him.

I bit my lip nervously, debating how much to tell him. If I revealed the books, everything could be ruined, but if I sent him in blind he would resent me for not warning him. Especially if some twist of fate caused him to kill Bella Swan. Not that I thought that would happen, but then again it should be impossible for him to be in my room yet here he was.

"I just thought since your eyes are dark gold that must mean you haven't hunted in a while, and I figured you would think it a good idea to hunt before you encountered a new human. You don't know how Bella will affect you, so surely there's nothing wrong in taking some precautions. But what do I know? I'm just a weak, little human." I gave him a challenging look once I'd finished my little speech. I wasn't going to tell him that I knew every twist and turn his life would take, but I thought it only fair to nudge him in the right direction. After that Twilight would unfold naturally, and he'd have his happily-ever-after.

"Now, I'm changing the subject." I wanted to get him off the topic because his face showed he had seen through my attempt to divert him. However, now I had no idea what to change the subject to.

"Ermmmm...ah..no... yeah.. OK... So what do I smell like?" I cringed at my lame question. Of all the things I could ask Edward Cullen, I chose the scent question, so predictable.

"Well..." Edward seemed to shift a little, obviously uneasy with the question. I should have realised talking about blood wouldn't help his thirst.

"You smell different to humans in my world. It seems so much more complex. At first it's just cherry blossom and vanilla, but then there's a spicy trace of cinnamon that runs through it, and also a little bit of something citrus coated in sugar. Mouth watering. You really do smell delicious." His gaze locked with mine for a second, and I watched as his eyes showed a predatory glint. Adrenaline was making my heart race and my breathing hitch. I had just assumed he would be safe to be around because he had managed to be in a relationship with Bella, his singer, without sucking her dry. Had I overestimated his control? Even worse, had he decided that since I was from a different world, his vegetarian rules didn't apply here?

"What do you mean by different? Don't most humans smell delicious?" I couldn't help my voice wavering slightly as I watched him stare at me from across the room. The molten gold gradually darkened to a sticky toffee colour.

_Yum sticky toffee pudding._

I snapped out of my food fantasy when he spoke again.

"Yes, they do smell delicious, in the food sense. What I meant in your case, however, was that you smell delicious in a non-food way. Like when someone wears a perfume you particularly like. Just because they smell good to you doesn't mean you're going to eat them. But say, for instance, your blood held the same allure to me as freshly baked bread does for you, then it would be a different matter." He smiled at his analogy, obviously pleased to be able to use human food to explain, even if he never ate it.

I thought back to his use of wine and water in _Twilight_. This boy obviously really liked food when he was alive.

"So, you don't feel thirsty around me? No burning sensation or venom flooding your mouth?" He merely shook his head, not wanting to verbalise his concerns over how I knew so much about vampire physiology. I was glad, because it would only lead back to the books and I held firm that I wasn't going to reveal that to him. I had been desperately thinking of anything other than those four books that sat just metres away on my shelves.

"Would it be possible for me to try something?" A theory had run through my head, and I felt the need to test it, my inner scientist taking control.

Edward's face was wary but he gave a slight nod of affirmation. Maybe he had already realised that I wasn't really asking his permission. Once I got an idea in my head I rarely just dropped it.

"Stay right here," I ordered, hoping he wouldn't take the chance during my absence to run away.

I was back in a matter of seconds, holding Ashleigh's favourite pyjamas. Edward stared at them, confused.

"Sniff these please, and tell me if your throat burns." I shook the garments under his nose until he inhaled deeply.

"Well?" I pushed for an answer.

"Nothing. She does smell nice, similar to lemons and rosewater, but no burn." His mouth twitched into a small smile, and my heart melted just a little. How did Bella control herself around this guy? Then again, she didn't really. She spent most of her time either talking about how beautiful he was compared to her or practically jumping his bones at every given chance, obviously in between all the life threatening situations like crazy vampires and newborn armies.

I shook away those thoughts before they floated to the surface of my mind. I couldn't have him hearing any of that information.

"OK, so here's the theory. Humans here aren't tempting to eat, always good to know." I smiled brightly up at him; with the whole possible risk of death gone, life was rosy. Next task was an easy test to carry out and definitely necessary.

_ I like vanilla ice-cream, _I shouted the thought in my mind but he didn't say anything.

_Edward, I said I like vanilla ice-cream!_

This time I made sure to direct it at him instead of just thinking it. Edward's eyes widened as he flinched a little. I think I may have shouted a little too loud. After all, I was right next to him.

"Why do you like vanilla ice cream?" He seemed confused as to how this was important. Obviously to me vanilla ice cream was very important; it may be plain but it was yummy. Anyway, back to the task at hand.

"Was that the first time you heard me?"

"Yes, other than something yesterday." He smiled slightly.

"OK, so here's the deal. Since I'm not from your world, my brain isn't quite on the same wavelength as yours. Well, that's what I'm guessing anyway." It was the only explanation I could think of because the only other way I could block him was to be a shield and I'm not opening that can of worms.

I inwardly sighed at the relief of not having to recite my French verbs in my head anymore. I didn't need to actively block him out, and it was reassuring to know that he wouldn't find out about the books from fishing around in my mind.

"So, from my little test, I have concluded that you can only hear me if I direct something at you. Like tune into your wavelength. Make sense?" I had been pacing round my room as I explained myself, but now I turned to get his opinion on my theory.

"Yes that makes sense, however, I was wondering if it would be possible for you to talk to Carlisle about this." I was a little shocked that he wanted me to meet Carlisle. I thought I would be his little secret. To be honest I hadn't even thought about introducing him to anyone on my side. They would probably think I was crazy. Either that or a whole load of fan girl fun would explode.

_I wonder how many fan girls it would take to overpower him?_ I repressed a smirk at my thought.

Edward must have taken my slight pause as hesitation because his expression warmed. "I understand it might be a little strange for you, but he's very controlled, and we could meet on this side. That way the thirst shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh no, it's not that, I know Carlisle would never hurt me. I just need to decide when, that's all. It's Friday today so my parents and sister are out. My parents shouldn't be back until seven and Ashleigh has netball practice so she won't be back 'til five. When does Carlisle finish at the hospital?" I realised I had been rambling and thinking out loud. I also realised that I had let slip yet another minor detail that I knew about him and his family.

"Well the family is home today. I could go get him and be back in an hour."

"Why an hour?"

"I think it may take some time to explain this to the rest of them. They don't know about you." He seemed a little nervous, as if telling me I was in fact his little secret would hurt my feelings.

"OK, one hour. I'll be here. Still." He left through the mist, and the poster sealed up again with a small fluttering of a cool breeze. It looked as if it had never been any different.

I went over to my desk and grabbed my iPod. I needed some way to get rid of the nervous energy that was slowly building in my stomach.

For the first time since Edward had entered my room, the situation felt strangely real. I was going to meet Carlisle Cullen, Edward's sire, and the head of the Cullen Coven. I couldn't believe it, but at the same time it seemed perfectly possible. I had always hoped this world held a little bit of magic. It would be nice to know that there were still things to be discovered in the world, that everything wasn't predictable. So although it should have been impossible for Edward to be able to appear in my room and have a conversation with me, I couldn't find it in me to drown in panic. Mainly because this marvellously strange situation had made this world just a little bit more interesting than it had been before, and who could complain about life losing some of its monotony?

Now, however, I had the issue of what I should do in relation to the books.

Do I tell them?

Do I give them the books to read, or would that just scare them off what was to happen? I found that highly likely since Edward had already shown such contempt for the idea of getting close to a human. I could just imagine his reaction to the events in the book. They would be enough for him to flat out refuse to even meet Bella.

The image of Edward clinging to the doorframe shouting, 'No! I don't want to go! You can't make me!' made me chuckle for a moment before I got back to the more important thoughts buzzing around my head.

Would Carlisle even want to have Edward in a relationship with Bella if he read the books and saw the consequences and dangers that came with the love story? I knew he would want Edward happy, but there was so much that happened. There were events that put the family through pain and anxiety. I couldn't be sure that he would think it was worth the risk, especially if Edward decided he didn't want any of it.

Would he really give up the passion, and love, that his and Bella's relationship portrayed in the book? I wanted to think that he would be selfish and take the risk because it was everything he wanted, but I knew it wouldn't be in his character to place his family in that much danger. After all, at the beginning of Twilight he had resisted so much to protect them, and that was without really knowing the challenges they would face. If he read the books then he would hurt himself before he inflicted the saga's storyline on his family, even if it finished with a happy ending.

My mind buzzed with the thousands of questions and consequences surrounding my decision. There was no simple answer. I couldn't explain how I knew everything about them without telling them about the books. I wouldn't be able to lie effectively, so if they persisted in asking me I would eventually have to tell them something. Perhaps I could tell them of the books existence and popularity but not of the storyline. I could claim that I only knew the basics from the media, instead of the full, wonderfully melodramatic story. That would surely explain how I knew so much about them, and hopefully keep them from questioning me further.

I felt more settled now that I had a plan and so stretched myself out on my bed to wait, again.


	5. Chapter 5, Carlisle

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I spent the next hour listening to a mix of acoustic songs and looking over my wall which was full of photos. My eyes looked at some of my favourite images. There were a series of black and white landscapes that I had taken when my family and I stood at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I could clearly remember pestering my parents to wait for me while I slowly tried to capture the full 360 degree view of Paris. They had been so patient as we battled through the crowds of tourists, all of whom were trying to capture the complicated sights before them. I had to admit, I was a little smug when I got home and printed the images. My idea had worked perfectly and now ran across my wall, creating the perfect stretched landscape of one of the most beautiful cities in Europe.

The other photos were a massive collage of my friends and I on our various silly adventures or during our chill out sessions. They documented our friendships, as well as the changes we each went through individually. The pictures showed us from those uncertain early teenage years to the modern day versions of us that were confident and sure of our dreams and ambitions.

My plan had been to distract myself with the memories shown on the wall to try to calm my nerves due to the prospect of meeting Carlisle. I had thought it was working, but the slow passing of time told me otherwise. Finally, I saw the poster's eyes glowing and watched as it melted away to show a misty reflective surface. The next thing I saw was Edward stepping through the misty film, closely followed by a tall blonde man.

He was classically handsome with a slender body and golden blonde hair that somehow still shined, even in the dim daylight that filled my bedroom. His eyes softened from the initial nerves of this new place as his gaze settled on me. His posture and expression showed the caring nature that I knew was innate to Carlisle.

Edward stood silently next to Carlisle, reading his mind for his thoughts on my scent. That was my guess, and also what I hoped was happening, otherwise it was just an awkward pause.

The silence continued longer still.

I didn't like silences; they made me anxious.

"Erm, hi, I'm Holly Jules. I'm sorry if I have caused any worry for you and your family. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I don't even know what triggered it." I turned to the poster that had now turned back to normal except for glowing gold eyes. "Are the others watching through the mirror on your side?"

Carlisle smiled, his eyes lit up and I thought it was due to my cooperation. "Yes, they're watching. We thought it best that we were all aware of what you know. I hope you are OK with this?"

I couldn't help but feel a buzz that the rest of the Cullens were just on the other side of the poster, watching me through Edward's Indonesian mirror. I smiled toward it and waved like a goon, hearing Carlisle chuckle. I returned back to our conversation.

"Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?" Carlisle watched me carefully and I nodded, relaxing greatly as I saw the considerate light in his eyes.

"Edward said that he can't hear you unless you direct a thought at him, and I can clarify that your scent doesn't seem to affect us in the same way as humans in our world." He gave a slightly amused smile toward Edward. I briefly pondered why but soon got distracted from the thought as Carlisle spoke.

"Why, may I ask, do you have a poster of my son on your wall?" he asked, glancing over at Edward's printed form.

I blushed deeply.

It was a little embarrassing considering they have no idea about _The Twilight Saga_. Hell, it would still be embarrassing if they did. However, to them, I just seemed to have taken an unexplained liking to Edward without a normal cause.

It was time to tell them something to stem their curiosity. I wouldn't tell them everything, and certainly not the _when_ or _how. _After all it had to seem natural when Edward and Bella fall in love, not forced. I refused to ruin the greatest love story of the twenty-first century. But, it would be a lot easier to explain if they at least knew of its existence.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself.

"OK, here's the deal," I said. "This is going to sound strange, but you and your family are characters in a book series in my world—this world. It contains four books, and they're hugely popular. There are even movies being made. The poster up on that wall is the poster of your character, Edward, and I got it for my eighteenth birthday from my friend, Jemma." I smiled nervously, the blush still coating my cheeks.

Just the fact that I had a poster of Edward showed that I liked him, whether it was because I found him physically attractive or to be an interesting character. The reason didn't matter, because either way it was embarrassing to have my affection so well known to the real life version of the character in front of me.

"We're just characters? Are you saying we're not even real?" Edward hissed. I should have known he would see it this way, Carlisle seemed a lot calmer. I understood Edward's reaction. I imagine it _would_ be a little alarming to have someone say that everything about you was just a creation of someone else's imagination. However, while they may have been from a fictional world, that didn't mean they were fictional. They obviously had a life on the other side of this portal. Although their life was created by Stephenie, it wasn't governed completely by her written words.

None of this portal stuff had happened in _Twilight_,so it was clear to me that Stephenie had only captured a small part of their world and their story. They were real people that just happened to have some of their future life documented in a book.

Carlisle gave Edward a look of caution, telling him to curb his temper, but I knew Edward had a reason to be angry and confused. I couldn't blame him.

"I know it sounds that way, but it isn't like that. You are real. You're living beings that have conscious thoughts, feelings, and actions. You obviously have free will. Just because in _this_ world you're characters in a book, it doesn't make you any less real. I know it's a bit hard to accept." My explanation had seemed clear in my head, but I started to mumble at the end when I realised that it didn't change the fact that they were still characters in a story. No matter how real they were, they were still from another world that people could read about any time they wanted.

"You say these books are popular. I assume you have read them?" Carlisle watched me carefully as he asked his question, and I concentrated on keeping my body from showing any sign of lying. I could feel my heart beating faster and Edward's eyes narrowed. How exactly was I going to lie successfully to two beings that were, essentially, living lie-detectors?

"I haven't read them, there's just a lot of information on the story spread through the media. I couldn't tell you what actually happens in the books." My voice was steady, and I fought the instinct to look away from Carlisle's gaze as I lied through my teeth. Meanwhile, I knew my heart was fluttering and from Edward's expression, each flutter was increasing his annoyance. Edward could really learn a lot from Carlisle. At least _he_ wasn't increasing my nerves by glaring at me; even if he knew just as well as Edward that I wasn't really telling the truth.

"You're lying," Edward said and I registered the frustrated growl coating his words. "From what you told me last night, you know more than you say."

_Well done, Sherlock,_ I thought sarcastically, but made sure not to let Edward hear it. It wouldn't help his temper. As it was, he was already tensed next to Carlisle, his jaw was clenched and his hands were tightly fisted.

I let out a small defeated sigh; I didn't have to be a genius to know he wasn't going to let me get away with lying to their faces. I had let on too much last night. I never should have mentioned Bella, but I hadn't been thinking. Plus, I never really stood a chance at lying. I could barely manage to lie to Dad about eating the last cookie, so I must have been cuckoo-crazy to think I could manage lying to vampires.

"I'm sorry, but even if I did know something about your future, you can't seriously expect me to tell you and risk ruining your lives. Because I'm pretty sure that's what would happen if I blabbed. So just don't ask me questions, and I'll tell you no lies, OK?"

I ended my speech with a bright smile, hoping that they wouldn't mind my withholding information. The look on Edward's face was a mix of awe and anger, whilst Carlisle's eyes brightened. I wondered if it was due to having some understanding of how I knew so much or the discovery of this new world. Either way it looked like he'd just gotten a new Christmas present. I liked that we had curiosity in common. However, I could see his concern that it wasn't just me who had extensive knowledge of who they were.

"So you're refusing to tell us anything?" Edward's voice was heated, and his eyes lost their glow, looking fierce and deadly. I chose to ignore him and instead turned my attention to Carlisle. At least _he_ was being nice. Just because they were vampires did not mean I should just bend to their will. This was my world, and I felt that Edward should at least respect that.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uneasy, but you're in no danger of discovery here. People would just think I was crazy if I ever told them. Not that there's even a chance that I would, I mean I promise I won't tell _anyone_. As for withholding information, surely you can see how my interference could cause issues for both you and the other characters- I mean people- involved. I won't destroy your life's path, and I won't destroy theirs" I finished talking and stared at Edward. He stared back before giving a frustrated sigh and turning away.

"Thank you, Holly. I understand this must be difficult for you, and we do appreciate what you have told us. I apologise for Edward, but he finds it uncomfortable not knowing what's going on." Carlisle gave Edward a stern look. Edward met his gaze for a second and swiftly returned to the portal's edge. He gave me one last glare as he passed through the reflective film that had returned on the poster's surface.

Once Edward had left, I looked to Carlisle once more. I had expected him to leave with Edward. After all, I was just an annoying human to them, one who just so happened to know a little too much about a lot.

"So...?" What was I supposed to say? I thought we'd covered everything.

"Holly, Edward doesn't like to do anything without reason."

"Stubborn vampire," I muttered lowly.

A slight smile graced Carlisle's lips, probably guessing I knew Edward all too well.

"I need to know _how_ Bella Swan is going to affect him. He mentioned that you talked of her, and linked her with his need to hunt. He won't hunt just because I tell him to, and I can't let him go into the situation completely blind." The compassion that shone through his eyes along with the love for his first son made my walls of secrecy crumble away.

I took a deep breath; I wasn't sure how this last piece of information would affect the story. Edwards's attraction to Bella started because of her scent, but he hated himself for it, and he hurt his family by leaving during those first few days. I knew that I would not be able to prevent the way Bella's scent would affect Edward but perhaps if he were prepared, he wouldn't feel the need to escape. It would save the Cullens much heartache, and maybe it wouldn't alter the story?

My decision was made, and I looked up to Carlisle's patient gaze.

"This is all I can tell you, Carlisle. Bella Swan will be Edward's singer." Carlisle noticeably tensed in front of me. He understood what this information meant.

"Again, thank you, Holly. You don't know how much this will help." With that, he vanished at vampire speed through the waiting portal. I was left alone, once again, only this time with a feeling that I wouldn't be seeing Edward, or the other Cullens, for a long time.

If ever.

* * *

The weekend passed slowly. The girls flitted in and out, chatting about various things that had happened on the night out or events that had happened whilst they were away at university. I wanted to take it all in and be an active participant in the conversations. I wished that I would go back to normal, instead of being a nervous bundle with limbs, but I couldn't. Instead, I was just watching the hours drag by. My mind could only focus on the poster, and the moments until Edward would meet Bella and _Twilight_ would begin.

"Holly, is everything OK? You seem a little out of it." I snapped out of my reverie to see Sara sitting opposite me. Her red hair was vibrant, hanging in shaggy layers around her face. It made her grey-blue eyes stand out. They were no longer hidden behind the round wire-rimmed glasses she had worn when I first met her. Now she wore contacts instead, and they added a reflective sparkle to her eyes.

"I'm fine. Things have just been a little crazy lately. I've got balls all up in the air." I smiled to reassure her. Not that it would work. Sara had known me too long to fall for my pitiful attempts at lying.

I have known Sara the longest out of all my friends, ever since the beginning of middle school. We had both been the goofy kids that hadn't quite fit with the 'It' crowd. I could easily remember what she looked like when we first met. Her red hair had been in two cute braids down her shoulders, and her eyes had been covered by the aforementioned thick lenses, making them appear bigger than normal.

I'd had frizzy, curly hair and braces, so the other children called us the 'geek girls.' We bonded through our rejection from the popular crowd, but we stayed friends because Sara was the person who was always there for me. She would lift me up from a slump, which happened often when the mean boys would shout at me or fire spit balls in class. It was upsetting at the time, but we always acted as if we didn't give a damn. We could both admit now that it had hurt to not be accepted.

It was because of our close friendship that she easily saw through my falsely calm facade.

"No, there's something else. Come on, you can tell me. Maybe if you talked about it, you could get your head in the game. Get your mind off it." She nudged my elbow encouragingly. I felt my heart break just a little. After all the things she'd been through. The tragic death of her father from cancer, and the traumatic months she had endured when her mother was diagnosed and treated for lymphoma. Despite all this Sara still cared so much about everyone around her. She would take on your problems and ease the worry or stress that came with them. That couldn't happen this time.

I had promised Carlisle that no one would be told. No matter how much I wanted to show her, or how much I wanted to open up and spill everything, I couldn't. Once I gave someone my word, I wouldn't back out of it.

I took one last look at Sara, and I tried desperately to clear my eyes of anything that would show the anxious energy brewing below my surface.

"Seriously, Sara, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm fine." I gave her a hug before she walked out the front door. There was no point in getting her involved when things were so unstable, so I watched her leave and went back to waiting.

A week passed and my nerves settled. I threw myself into spending time with friends. Beth and I had decided to buy the _101 Things to Do Before You Die _book. It consisted of various things to do throughout your life, from learning a language, to seeing some of the greatest films ever made. We'd already started ticking things off, when we stumbled upon the idea of the Flash Mob. Beth was set on it immediately. She loved an opportunity to do something out of the ordinary because her life was one big bizarre world of imagination and adventures. She was the one who dragged us out at night to watch a rare meteor shower or decided it would be fun to rent a boat and sail around the local coast. She never once said she was bored and rarely let any of us feel bored, either. There was no real way to describe Beth, but the closest thing would be a tornado. She's uncontrollable, thrilling to be around, an immense force, and when she whirls off again, things aren't quite the same.

Her enthusiasm increased my excitement for the idea. I thought it would be fun to plan an event where a gathering of people came together at a certain time, did something, and then dispersed immediately. Since we were both keen, we organised our own to take place in the city of Newcastle. The planning went off without a hitch and resulted in yesterday being the day of our Flash Mob. Now I sat flicking through the photos that were on our Facebook page which we created specifically for the event. Hundreds of people had shown up to carry out the Flash Mob which had turned into a spur-of-the-moment protest against racism. The pictures showed people lying down on the ground in front of the local racist political party which was gathered at the monument, while others, who weren't involved, stood with confused looks on their faces. It had been a fun day, and Beth and I walked away with a buzz and a feeling of achievement that kept us smiling all day.

I sighed as I turned off the computer. The clock on my laptop showed it was late, and I knew I should head to bed. It would be the smart thing to do.

Ever since Edward visited I had stopped wearing my onesie. I thought it was for the best, just in case Carlisle or one of the other Cullens turned up unannounced. I didn't think I could face any more embarrassment of being caught in my onesie by more inhumanly beautiful vampires. So, instead I shoved on my baggy Clash t-shirt and black pyjama bottoms with multicoloured lightning bolts printed on them.

It didn't take me long to fall into a deep sleep. Dad's snoring from the next room was like a metronome, constant and strangely soothing.

* * *

I woke to a soft light from behind my curtains and guessed it was probably about nine.

I followed my usual wake up routine, inhaling deeply and stretching out my bunched up muscles. However, this time something caught my attention. My room smelled different, sweet and spicy, but still fresh. I couldn't pinpoint the exact smell because it didn't smell like anything I'd ever come across before.

It was heavenly.

I inhaled again, holding it in my lungs as the scent muddled my brain. I could have stayed like that all day. Unfortunately for me it was Sunday, and that meant that Ash would be in here in a few minutes, all woken up and ready to rumble.

My curtain flickered slightly, and I flinched as the light hit my still-sensitive eyes. It was then that I saw Edward standing calmly at the end of my bed, hidden slightly by the light.

"Oh! Holy crap on a cracker!" I stumbled out of bed trying to run towards my door to shut it.

Of course, lucky me, I got tangled in my bed covers and ended up a muddled mess of fabric and limbs on the floor.

"Hello, Holly. I'm sorry if I scared you. I thought you would realise I was here." He had a twinkle in his eye as he watched me untangle myself from my squishy prison.

"Ash is going to run in here soon. How exactly am I going to explain you being here? Scratch that. How am I going to explain that you even _exist_?" I was flustered from my little wrestling match with the covers.

Edward just snickered at my rant while he leaned against the window pane.

"What do you want, anyway? Come to whack me? Eliminate the threat?" I smirked at my use of mafia vocab. However, I really hoped he hadn't come to kill me off for the sake of secrecy. That would really suck.

"Actually, I wanted to thank you for telling us about Bella. It helped a lot, knowing something." He almost sighed when he spoke Bella's name. I felt a swell of pride, knowing it was going to work out.

"No problem. Now, if you don't mind, I need to get myself sorted before Ashleigh decides to play dress up the Holly." I grimaced at the thought of this; it was one of Ashleigh's favourite pastimes. Usually, I didn't mind, but on a Sunday morning it wasn't the first thing on my 'to do' list.

"I also came to invite you to my home. The rest of my family have been very curious about you." There seemed to be more to this than Edward was letting on, but I decided to push it aside. I was obviously still a bit drowsy.

"Who made you do it? Because I'm guessing you didn't volunteer to play the role of messenger." As I spoke I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to straighten out the bird's nest style my hair was in.

"What makes you think I didn't come here on my own accord?" He smirked as he watched me flop back on my bed, recovering from the shock his appearance had caused.

I turned to look at him and quirked an eyebrow. I mean, _really_, did he seriously expect me to believe that he actually wanted to spend any more time than necessary with me?

"The last time I saw you, you tried to burn a hole in my head with your eyes," I said in a factual voice, and Edward pressed his lips together to suppress yet another smirk from escaping.

"I apologise, and in answer to your earlier question, it was Alice." As soon as he spoke her name I perked up. If _Alice_ had suggested inviting me then it couldn't be that bad. After all, she was one of the more pro-human Cullens. If, however, Rosalie had made Edward invite me, then it probably wouldn't have been such a good sign. In fact, I think it would be like receiving an invitation to your own funeral.

"Well, how about you wait here, and I'll get ready, then we can go. I'll just leave a note for my parents, saying I'm going to see friends or something. They're not up yet, so that should be OK," I said, as I rushed round my room gathering the things I would need to get ready. If I was going to walk into a house full of beautiful, designer-clad vampires, I wanted to look half decent doing it.

"Close your eyes," I directed to Edward. I had gotten to my underwear drawer and there was no way he was seeing inside.

He followed my command and smirked as he heard me rummage through the drawer searching for something suitable. I slammed the drawer, and dashed to the bathroom, diving into the shower. There was no time to wash my hair, so it would just have to be left as the air-dried mess it had started in. I hoped it wouldn't be so bad once I put it up in a messy bun.

By the time I was finished, I had only taken twenty minutes and had managed to achieve a look that wasn't too bad, even if I did say so myself. I had my charcoal grey skinny jeans on with my red and grey check shirt, with a grey top below, and my new black ankle boots. They had been expensive, but in my eyes, totally worth it. Then again, shoes were my one fashion weakness. If it was possible to just wear shoes without the hassle of clothes, then I would be very happy. However, public nudity was generally frowned upon.

"OK, I'm ready when you are." I stood opposite the poster and found Edward standing next to me. I hadn't heard him move across the room. This thought alone made my heart rate increase.

_Stupid vampire. What's so bad about human speed? Or noise?_

Edward smirked and took a step into the poster, turning back as I hesitated.

"Come on, we won't bite." He flashed his teeth, and I gulped at the mock predatory glint in his eyes. I looked at his snowy hand, which was held out for me to hold.

_Here goes nothing._


	6. Chapter 6, The Cullens

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It was a weird sensation passing through the film that separated our worlds, like stepping through a very thin waterfall. A cool sensation passed over my skin like being naked in a breeze. At that thought I panicked and look down at my body, just to check I still had clothing on. Much to my relief I did. I chuckled to myself at my silly panic attack.

Edward released my hand instantly as if the contact repulsed him. I brushed off the hurt and looked up to see the rest of the Cullens standing in what I guessed was the hallway, although this gorgeous expanse was nothing like my hallway at home. Even the word hallway didn't seem to fit with it, grand foyer or atrium seemed better suited.

"I thought the mirror was in Edward's room?" I immediately wanted to kick myself at my stupid greeting. This was the first, and possibly the last, time I would meet these people, and the first thing I did was complain about where they put their mirrors.

"We thought the hallway was a better place to put it. If it's going to act as a portal we assumed Edward would get a little irritated at using his room as a walk through." This comment came from Carlisle, who had stepped forward with a woman with caramel coloured hair and an expression that caused you to immediately want to hug her.

"You must be Esme. I'm so thrilled to meet you, all of you. But then again Jasper can probably tell that already." I sent a quick glance in Jasper's direction to where he stood beside a girl with dark hair in a pixie cut. She was stunning, from what I could see of her. She was bouncing so fast she was almost vibrating.

Alice.

Just looking at her, I couldn't help the swell of excitement that burst in my chest. I was positively giddy.

Jasper's smile widened.

"It's nice to meet you too, Holly, but keep that emotion under control, darling, otherwise I'm gonna be skipping like a little girl." His Texan accent obvious was throughout his comment.

He gave me a wink, and I could feel a blush appear on my face. The image of Jasper skipping with a grin on his face flashed in my mind and I couldn't help but giggle.

"I'll try to keep it under wraps." I looked to the left of Jasper and Alice and saw a big man with large menacing muscles and a broad chest. This would have been a scary sight if it wasn't for his adorable face. His dark, short, curly hair just added to his charm and his dimples, I'm sure, could win over any girl. He caught me looking and a devious grin spread across his face.

"Like what you see, Holly?" He crossed his arms across his chest; pushing it out even further and making it look even broader than it already was. I took slow, measured steps towards him, pretending to look him over. He was trying to embarrass me, that much was obvious, but I wasn't going to be played that easily. I'd had years of practice with my Dad.

"Hmmm, I've seen better." I gave him a cheeky smile, and I heard a few chuckles from beside me. I looked towards Rosalie and even though she was glaring at Emmett, she was still extraordinarily beautiful. I felt myself becoming increasingly insignificant with every second in her presence. She wasn't looking at me; instead she was focussing on burning a hole through Emmett's head with her eyes. He was oblivious to her glare, or at least pretending to be.

"Hello Rosalie, I have to say the author didn't do you justice. You're so much more than stunning." I gave her a shy smile as her eyes passed over me.

I felt like I was sucking up to her, and although it wasn't my favourite thing to do, I knew it was necessary. I knew what she was like in the saga. I accepted that she wouldn't like me, but maybe I could get her to tolerate me whilst I was here, or at least not try to murder me.

To my surprise, her lips curved into a faint smile. "Thank you, Holly."

It wasn't much but a smile was a smile.

_Maybe this will be alright._

"Well, now that introductions are done, maybe you could show Holly around the house, Edward." As Carlisle was speaking I could have sworn I heard Alice whimper just a little. I still hadn't spoken to her which seemed rude, considering it was because of her that I was here.

At the mention of the words 'tour' and 'house', I took in the room I was standing in properly. Windows ran along one wall of the room while the stairs occupied another. The walls were all painted white with beautiful artwork interrupting the blank canvas, while wood flowed across the expansive floor.

"I'll show you the downstairs first," Edward said in a matter of fact tone. When he showed Bella around he was excited, with me it was just a chore.

We moved silently through the house. The rooms seemed to flow into each other on the ground floor. The living room was wide and open, with a large TV screen above the modern fire place. White sofas where arranged in a semi circle giving the room a feeling of family that most wide open spaces lacked. From the living room, we passed through into a room with nothing but a large black grand piano in the middle. The view out of the window in this room was of the river that ran closer to their home. It was idyllic.

Edward went through the routine of showing me the kitchen and dining room, which although they didn't seem lived in were still impeccably decorated. As we walked passed to go up the stairs to the first floor, I noticed a door that seemed to lead out of the kitchen. Edward told me it led down to the garage, and I suppressed the urge to run down and drool over the cars they kept there.

As we passed through the first floor I noticed photographs and paintings filled the walls. The photos were very well taken with perfect compositions; then again they were taken by vampires so it was to be expected. There were photos that seemed to document the growth of the family, events that had happened to them like celebrations and Christmases. There were no birthday images. It made sense since they didn't technically age but I still thought there may have been photos that showed they had celebrations to mark the passing of time. Even if it was every ten years instead of every twelve months.

We finally reached Edward's bedroom at the end of the corridor. It was next to the guest bedroom that Esme kept up to the amazingly high standard that was shown in the rest of the house.

_So this is Edward Cullen's room, _I thought as I passed the threshold.

Walking into the space was surreal. The wall of windows looked out over what seem to be a drop in the river, showing a slight waterfall and a valley. The scenery was nothing but wide open forest and large rolling clouds. It was so different from the view I got out of my windows back home. I could imagine the happiness and contentment you could get from waking up to the view of all that greenery. It would certainly break through any sleep hazed eyesight.

"I wonder what the sunset's like?" I hadn't meant to speak out loud; it was just easy to forget anyone was in the room and let my thoughts spill out.

"Just like any other sunset." Edward spoke without any real emotion in his voice. After all, he was merely my tour guide. Like an estate agent showing someone around a house. He wasn't there to give me any real conversation. He just had to make sure he was polite.

Another thought struck me as I looked closely at the almost stormy sky.

"Can you even see it, it's so cloudy?" I thought it would be a shame to miss such a beautiful thing as a sunset just because it couldn't shine through the thick smog of precipitation.

"It isn't often visible, but there are times you can see it. I find them all to be the same after all these years. Why are you so interested?" He was standing at the window, leaving a fairly large distance between us. Perhaps he thought my thirst eliminating power would suddenly vanish and therefore a gap was for the best. Whatever the reason, I just hoped he didn't make Bella feel the way he was making me feel at the moment, like I had some kind of contagious disease.

I sighed and prepared to answer his question, he'd been waiting long enough. If I contemplated any longer he'd begin to question my intelligence.

"I was just curious because I can imagine what it would be like to see the sunset over the shadowed treetops. To me, I think, it would be quite a sight to see."

I turned from the window and glanced around the rest of the room. Music lined one of his walls as well as an expensive looking stereo taking up a large part of the corner. A black leather couch sat in the middle of two book shelves, which were filled with books and journals.

I had always liked the idea of writing a journal, but I never had the stamina of mind to complete a full year. I would do a few weeks and then become bored of writing the same mundane things. It got to a point that instead on looking back and marvelling at the things that had happened, or how my feelings had changed, I looked over those few written weeks and thought, _wow, how boring is my life_. So, for my own peace of mind, I had stopped writing a diary.

When I looked at the pile of Edward's journals, I couldn't help the urge that sprang up in me to grab one and skim through the pages.

To be able to see the inner workings of Edward's mind would be a fascinating thing. I may have read the Twilight saga but they were pretty much all from Bella's perspective, so you never really knew the reasons for the things Edward said or did. You just had her assumptions or explanations. However, right now, just a metre or so from my hands were volumes of Edward's thoughts, memories and feelings just lying there.

I fiddled with my fingers to stop my hand from reaching out to grasp at them. The fan girl in me really wanted to read them. However, the logical and sane part reasoned that, firstly, Edward would most definitely be able to stop me and then probably be mad at me for even trying to read his personal diaries. Secondly, they were private. Even if he was a character from a book in my world, in _this_ world he was a real person and he deserved to have that little bit of privacy in a house where every movement you made, and every breath you took, was heard by everyone.

I blew my breath out forcefully as I turned away from the temptation of the journals, only to find Edward staring at me intently.

A girl could get lost in those eyes. I wondered if that was how Bella felt on the first day they met.

"How did Monday go?"I couldn't deny I was curious.

"It went well, thank you." This wasn't what I was hoping for. The girly girl in me wanted to hear all the juicy details, just like the one's I would get if it had been one of my girls going on a date. It was a shame Edward wasn't going to cooperate.

"OK well... Thank you for the tour, you really do have a wonderful home. I'm sure my Mum would want tips from Esme on how she keeps it so spotless. I mean seriously, compared to this place, I live in squalor." I gave a light chuckle due to my rambling. Edward was just waiting patiently with a polite expression on his face. It was obvious he was anxious to have me out of his room, probably most likely out of the house as well. He made it obvious that he had only invited me here to appease the curiosity his siblings (mainly Alice) apparently had for me.

I hadn't expected anything more than civility. In fact, I hadn't even expected that given how our relationship had started.

We turned to leave and headed down the stairs. As I was walking towards the portal, not quite sure what more to say, there was a flash of black and white and Alice appeared in front of me.

"Holly! You can't leave yet. I haven't been able to do your makeover; Edward's been taking all your time!" She pouted. Her voice was so full of energy I had to smile at her. She was so much like Ashleigh, and just like Ash I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to deny Alice anything. On the other hand, I was very much aware of Edward and the fact he might not like the idea of me making a return visit.

Then again, I hadn't had time to talk with Alice and one more look at her pouting pixie face made up my mind.

_Edward will just have to deal with having the irritating human around._

"How about I come back tomorrow? You can have the whole day to do whatever you want with me." For once I actually felt excited about a makeover; Alice's infectious enthusiasm had me practically buzzing.

She sighed in disappointment but agreed. "Make sure you come here early, otherwise I'm coming to get you." She gave me a menacing grin at the end as I turned and stepped through the soothing cool barrier on the portal.

I came to my senses only to hear Ash scream in front of me.

_Oh no._


	7. Chapter 7, A sister

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? HOW? ...JUST ...WHAT?" Ash was freaking out; I would be too if I was her. She'd just seen me walk out of a poster, and I was pretty sure that would be enough to make anyone a little shocked. Given that this was Ashleigh, who could be shocked merely by someone sneaking up to her, I was assuming she was fast approaching a state of hysteria.

It was obvious she had been doing her makeup when it happened because she now had a black streak of eyeliner down her face. That, even with her floundering arms and swishing hair, was still very visible.

"Ash, you have to be quiet. I can explain everything. Just be quiet." She seemed to relax a little but was still gawping at the Edward poster. Her eyes fixed on the spot I had come through, and her face was set in a state of horror.

I pulled her stiff body over to the bed and sat her down gently.

"Ashleigh, I need you to tell me what you saw," I spoke softly to try and get through to her, usually once Ashleigh got herself into a state it was me who was the only one to get her back out.

"I was standing right there." She pointed to my makeup and jewellery counter with the small vanity mirror.

"And I thought since you were out I would use your Dior eyeliner, you never let me use it usually." Her voice was just a daze, and I was starting to worry about just how deep she had withdrawn into herself. Then again, if she was still able to show some appreciation for expensive make up, there was still hope that I could stop her from locking up.

"I'm sorry I don't let you use it. Can you tell me what happened next?" I needed her to go through it in order for her to be responsive. She needed to acknowledge what had happened so that the shock would ease. Just enough for me to relax and know she wasn't going to be completely lost to the hysteria.

"I felt cold so I checked the window and then the door, but..." A gulp passed down her throat, and I rubbed her arm to reassure her everything was OK.

"But, what Ash? Tell me what happened next."

"That's when I saw you. You and the poster...walking through...you...the poster..not real." Her mouth clamped shut, her eyes widened marginally at the memory.

I knew her brain would be telling her what she saw was impossible, but there would be that little bit battling with her saying that her eyes couldn't make up such a convincing lie.

Her whole way of thinking would be conflicting, and I couldn't let it continue. If I did it would trigger the fits she sometimes suffered from.

It's very rare and only caused by this kind of meltdown in her brain. It was why we kept her away from scary movies, anything to stop her imagination from sending her brain into a mental anxiety attack. That was the only way the doctors could explain the fits. They said that although physically her body didn't suffer a normal anxiety attack, her mind became the focal point of the adrenaline build up. It causes her to become unresponsive, and finally ends in a fit whilst we stand by, unable to help her.

I couldn't risk putting Ashleigh through that, not just to keep a secret. I knew I had made a promise to the Cullens, but to me Ashleigh's welfare was far more important. I knew if she had an explanation it would ease the panic and prevent her from slipping too far.

"OK you're not supposed to know. No one can. I've just came out of a portal. It, kind of, goes to the Twilight world. I can't explain why, or how, but they're real, Ash, every single one of them. You literally step into Twilight." I could see in her eyes she thought this was all some joke. Although I was expecting it, it still hurt a little to have my own sister doubt me.

"Oh." It was all she said for the next ten minutes while I sat opposite, watching her intently. I had to find some way to stop her from cracking up. Just something to convince her that she hadn't been imagining the portal and that what I had said was the truth.

"Stay right here, OK? "She didn't nod but she didn't move either.

I slowly got up and stood in front of the poster. I stared into the golden eyes and begged for this to work. I focussed on the portal and watched as it began to open bringing with it a slight chilling breeze that fluttered against my face.

_Edward, I need help. It's Ash, she knows._

I wasn't sure if he would hear me, or who he would send through to help, but I was given my answer as his form stepped through the portal towards me. He immediately looked toward Ash who still hadn't moved from her spot on the bed, now staring intently out the window. I watched as Edward took a careful step towards her and placed his pale hand against her light golden tan skin. Her head snapped up, and she blinked as she looked him in the eye. Her expression was funny even if the situation wasn't. She was dazzled.

"Now that's interesting," Edward murmured, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear him.

"What do you mean 'interesting', what's interesting?" Worry coated my words. Ash was my little sister; I was supposed to look after her. I always had the same reaction whenever she was distressed, my body filling with the need to protect her. These past ten minutes had been far too close for comfort. If she had fitted I didn't know what I would have done. I knew the procedures, but my parents obviously weren't in, and the state she would be in after the fit would have been horrible to see and even worse to cope with. I could clearly remember the last episode, the way her teeth had bitten down on her tongue and left a clear bite mark on her lower lip. She had thrashed in such a way that bruises blossomed instantly on her skin, but they were nothing compared to the dislocated shoulder she had gained from her jerking movements. It had seemed like eternity whilst my parents and I had waited for the ambulance. Ashleigh had been in sobs when they finally arrived, and all we could do was hold her close and tell her everything would be OK.

I grimaced when I thought about how close it could have been to ending in the same way today. I should have been more careful with the portal, if not for the secrets sake, then for Ashleigh's. I should have just assumed she would be in my room. She usually was.

Edward's voice snapped me back from my worry.

"I can hear her, unlike you. It's not very loud at the moment, but I can still hear her. She's alright, Holly." Something must have passed through Ash's mind because Edward produced a strained chuckle.

"More than alright, trust me." As Edward said this Ashleigh blushed. If my first encounter with Edward was anything to go by I could imagine what was going through her mind right now. Unluckily for her, Edward could hear it all.

_Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for her to find out. She was in my room when I came home. I know it's not ideal but it was always going to be hard to keep it from her, she has no respect for privacy. _

I smiled at Ash when I thought the last bit, it was so true. The number of times she'd barged into my room and demanded my attention were numerous. I eventually got a lock put on my door, but then she just took to knocking repetitively 'til I let her in. It was fair to say the lock didn't really get used much now.

"It's fine, I'll see you tomorrow." He nodded in a form of a polite goodbye, a small smile on his lips. Then he left through the portal with a wisp of a breeze behind him.

"Oh wow, wow, wow, WOW! That was Edward Cullen! Edward Freaking Cullen!" Ash had fully woken up from her little day dream.

"Yes, Ash, it was. Edward Freaking Cullen" I sighed as I thought of his smile again, the way it lights up his face. Perfection.

"MUUUUM! I don't feel well," Ash pouted and grimaced as she curled in her bed. I could see the blusher on her counter that she had used to paint on her fever. I smirked at her over Mum's shoulder.

_Such a little liar._

I knew the reason for Ash's sudden sickness. We had spent the night talking about the portal and my plans to visit again today. Of course, when she heard this, she wanted to come too.

I felt a little uneasy springing her on the Cullens, but once Ash got an idea in her head, she was relentless. Obviously, it all depended on how good her acting skills were this morning as to whether Mum would fall for her being ill.

Ash had a lot of good practice at convincing our parents. They fell for her antics every time. I swear she could get away with murder if she batted her eyelashes.

"Holly, you don't mind, do you? Looking after Ash today? I really need to get to work. We've got a lot of new patients in today." Mum, of course, knew I would look after Ash, so she didn't bother waiting for a response. Soon it was just me and Ash left in her room.

"See. I told you it would be easy-peasy." Ash's face was split with a huge grin; she'd never doubted her ability to persuade Mum. Not even for a second.

"OK well, be ready in an hour. I told them I'd get there early." This was the excuse I used to get Ash to hurry up. It wasn't much of an excuse because Alice did want me there early, but I couldn't deny that I was excited to see them again.

We were ready in record time. Ash had obviously gone all out with her shoulder length blonde hair styled into messy curls and her face made up to perfection. I had only quickly blow dried my hair and left it to fall down my back in soft waves. As for makeup, mascara was my limit.

I held Ashleigh's hand as we passed through the portal. I could hear her gasp at the cold sensation just as I had.

As soon as the wooden floor hit my foot we were pulled into a tight hug by Alice.

"Yey! You're here! Hi I'm Alice. You must be Ashleigh!" Alice bounced from me to Ash gripping her in another hug. Ash looked like she was ready to explode with excitement. This only increased when she took in Alice's outfit.

"Wow, I love your jacket, and your shoes are gorgeous! God, I'm so jealous." Ash beamed at Alice, and they were soon deep in conversation over the latest fashion in each of their worlds.

"Heylo." A velvet voice spoke from beside me; I jumped a little from shock and saw Edward standing looking stunning with a pale blue button down and his hair its usual dishevelled mess of loveliness.

I blushed at his use of the silly mixed up greeting I had used the first time I met him.

"Hi, I'm sorry about this." I pointed to Ash who looked like a kid in a candy store, dashing about the house with Alice in the lead.

"It's not a problem; I wondered how you handled Alice so well, now I understand perfectly. Ashleigh is very similar." I smiled at his comment and joined him in watching Ash and Alice buzzing through the downstairs rooms. I wasn't sure why he was being so nice to me now but I wasn't going to question it too much, just enjoy the fact that his face wasn't stuck in a sour expression.

Edward and I followed Ash and Alice upstairs when they moved. From what I could make out from their conversation I was the main topic, along with what they were going to do to me. Apparently it involved curling tongs and other metal contraptions that sounded a little like torture devices.

I grimaced at Edward as they called me from Alice and Jaspers room.

"Good luck," he whispered before I trudged along the corridor. The sight when I opened the door to the room was astonishing. Alice was already flying through her closet full of clothes and bags full of ne clothes, whilst Ash set up her torture chamber of various beauty products.

"Come on, Holly, we're going to make you _beautiful_." Ash grinned as she sat me down in the chair.

The next few hours went by in a blur of makeup fabric and various aroma therapy products. Ash, under Alice's command, raided Alice's closet and pulled out things she liked in her size or could be altered to make them fit her. Apparently it was impossible for anyone in the Cullen coven to wear an outfit more than once.

As Alice finished off my makeover, I listened intently to the squeals coming from Ash as she found something new that she loved. I had no idea how we were going to sneak all the clothes past Mum, but I was sure Ash would do whatever it took to keep her new favourite outfits.

As I got to know Alice I fell for her personality even more than I had in the books. She just made you feel worth a million whenever she was with you. I smiled and laughed the whole time 'til my jaws ached and my abs were tensed from the work out.

"OK you're done, and I have to say this is some of my best work." She turned to Ash and high fived her. Meanwhile I turned to face the mirror.

The girl reflected back at me was gorgeous. Her golden brown hair shined in the light showing a multitude of colours from dark chocolaty browns to golden blondes. It fell gently in full voluptuous waves whilst her eyes sparkled with a mild brown shimmer and thick black long eyelashes, making her blue eyes stand out against her creamy flawless skin. Her full lips were split into a bright smile and were stained a natural soft pink.

I couldn't believe the girl in the mirror was me. Alice had let me keep my grey skinny jeans on, but they were now teamed with stunning black Louboutin heeled boots. She'd altered my black baggy top so it hugged perfectly into my curves, showing off my small waist and what Alice called a 'fabulous BB combo', when asked what a BB combo was she said it meant boobs and bum.

"You're a genius, Alice. I love it." I pulled Ash and Alice into a hug, and then took one last look at the girl in the mirror before reaching to take the shoes off.

"What are you doing?" Ash started.

"We haven't shown everyone yet, so that means we're going out," Alice informed me. I hadn't known we were going anywhere. I mean, was there even anywhere to go in Forks?

"What do you mean we're going out, it's Monday afternoon. Which reminds me, our parents don't know where we are, they're going to freak when they find out you haven't been ill all day." I could feel the stress building; I would get my ass kicked for letting Ash go out. That's obviously without my parents knowing anything about where exactly we'd been.

"Chill out, Holly, its fine. It's only 3.30 in the afternoon, so I figured we could go with Edward to pick up Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie from school." Alice tried to soothe my mood by lightly brushing my arm. Surprisingly, her cold touch didn't bother me too much; it didn't feel like ice and had a lovely silky texture to it. The stone like firmness of it wasn't particularly odd, but I assumed that was because I expected it.

"OK, but me and Ash should really be back home by eight latest. Mum and Dad will be in by then. How come you and Edward weren't in school today?" It didn't make sense; usually they were only out of school if it was sunny.

"Well, Edward has been pretending to be sick for the past week. He's taking his time getting used to Bella's scent. He usually spends time at her house when she's at school to get used to it. It's nice he hasn't been today actually. He usually gets so crabby after. As for me, I wanted to see you, so I begged with Carlisle and Esme to let me stay home." She gave me her bright smile as we headed down the stairs. Apparently Edward was waiting for us in the car due to Alice's mental instruction.

We finally got in the Volvo and set off at break neck speed to school. We were only going to pick up Jasper because Rosalie and Emmett had the BMW, and with me and Ash in the car there wouldn't be space for all of them.

I was tapping my leg excitedly. I was in the Volvo. _The_ Volvo. I grinned at how many girls I knew that would kill to be in this Volvo, let alone with Alice and Edward at the same time.

I loved the speed that we travelled at. The way the scenery blurred past us made adrenaline slowly pulse into my system. Some would complain at missing the views of the surrounding area but to me the blurring of all the greenery created interesting patterns. I glanced at Ash and chuckled at how her hands were clamped onto the armrest. She never was one for thrills.

We were at the school in no time, Alice leapt out the car toward Jasper whilst Ash and I exited with a little less grace. I saw Edward's face out the corner of my eye and he looked a little affronted. He had come round the front to my side of the car just as I exited, and he waited patiently behind the car door as I shut it. I hadn't realised I had been so rude as to just open the door in front of him, blocking his path and forcing him to wait for me to fumble my human form out of the car. I ducked my head after realising what I had done.

As the door clicked shut I looked up to see Edward's eyes widen.

"Wow look at you girlie, looking good," Emmett called then him and Jasper wolf whistled making my face split into a wide grin.

"What do you think, Edward?" Alice asked, but there was too much innocence in her voice to be genuine. I decided to have a little fun with this and turned to Edward doing a slow spin as I looked him in the eye.

"Yeah, what do you think, Edward," I teased slightly with a small smile flickering on my face. He might be more reserved than the others, but I wanted to see if he'd join in our fun.

I watched as Edward took in my outfit. "You look nice, Holly, as always," he replied with a crooked smile on his face. Seemed Eddie boy was lightening up.

I laughed and gave him a playful nudge, "very good answer. So, do I get to see Bella Swan?" His face turned serious for a second, and I followed his gaze across the parking lot.

Standing amongst a group of chatting teenagers was a slender girl with long chocolate brown hair; although I couldn't see her clearly her appearance was exactly how I had imagined Bella. She had a very classic look about her, not the obvious beauty a lot of girls tried to put out but something different. I could see that the guys all wanted her. They stood as close to her as they could without causing suspicion. A blonde boy was closest on her left, trying to get her attention with smiles and loud jokes.

_Mike Newton, you poor boy, you don't stand a chance_

I almost felt pity for him. He obviously liked her a lot, but he could never compare to Edward. He just had to learn that the hard way.

Ash was busy chatting with Alice and Rosalie about my outfit. It seemed Rosalie approved although she wasn't as expressive about it as Alice.

I dragged my eyes away from the group of Forks teenagers, and instead turned to see Edward was watching Bella intently.

_I think you should go back to school tomorrow. You're strong enough to do this. You won't hurt her._

Edward acknowledged my thought with a nod of his head and turned back towards the car. Rosalie and Emmett piled into the BMW whilst the rest of us settled into the Volvo. I sat up front with Edward whilst Ash placed herself next to Alice and Jasper.

The short drive to the Cullen house was quiet, even Ash had talked herself dry. By the time we got back it was four that meant four hours left in the Twilight world.

We all sat in the living room watching some silly soap opera show. Ash and I loved laughing at the ridiculous plots and characters. The Cullens soon joined in, and I could see why Emmett loved Rosalie so much. She might not have shown it in the book, but her dry humour fit his playful personality well.

We spent the next few hours just laughing about everything and anything as we got to know each other. I couldn't believe I had spent the day with some of the most beautiful people in existence, and I didn't feel small or unworthy. They made me and Ash welcome in their little bubble, and it felt like we just fit. Even my relationship with Edward, which at first seemed strained and awkward, was now at perfect ease. We had fired insults at the TV, bouncing off each other opinions whilst the other's laughed around us.

It felt like the same feeling I got when I was with my friends sitting watching a film, relaxed and simple. I couldn't say that whenever he smiled it didn't brightened my day just a little, that his laugh wasn't like velvet against my ear, and his eyes didn't make my heart pound against my ribcage. But even though I felt these things, I knew he was meant for Bella, so I could control my instinctive feelings and see him a friend, just like all the other Cullen's.

For the first time since meeting the Cullens, I thought of them in my world. What it would be like to introduce them to my family and friends. How they would fit in. Just the idea of it made me happy. I knew my family and friends would adore them, but would they want to take the risk and become something more than a secret?

Although Twilight fever wasn't rife in my hometown, there would still be a few people who would recognise the similarities between the Cullens I knew and the fictional family that the actors portrayed on the big screen. I knew all it would take would be those few people to start gossiping and spreading their ideas, and then before I could even act to stop it the Twilight world would be exposed.

I was certain my parents wouldn't be aware of the resemblance. They had never taken a real interest in the books or films. My friends would be a different story, but there was a chance that they might not make the connection.

My mind churned with the facts and possibilities as we all sat together.

When it came to leave Ash brought her many bags of clothes downstairs and began the process of transporting them through the portal into my room. She had passed through with the second to last bag as I stood next to the portal with the last, saying goodbye to everyone.

I had decided that it was up to the Cullens to consider the risks of exposure on my side. It would be rude not to extend an invitation for them to visit, and I felt it was better for the invitation to be there if they wanted it. They were intelligent enough to understand the obvious risks that visiting on my side would hold. They could probably think of risks that hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Thank you for everything, today's been great. Maybe you could visit sometime, see a bit of the world on my side. I mean, only if you think it's safe, but you're more than welcome." They all smiled and waved as I gathered my stuff. Edward was the last one left near me as I went to step through the portal.

"Holly, I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer of a visit. Maybe tomorrow? After school?" His voice sounded a bit unsure as if he expected me to say no. Fat chance of that happening.

"Sure, see you about four?" He nodded and left the portal to close behind me, leaving me staring at the bombsite that was currently my room thanks to Ashleigh's lack of organisation.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: The reviews are awesome. I literally smile like a loon everytime I get a new one, hell it still happens if I read back over them. I love that you are all enjoying this story so far.**

**x**

My day started in a flurry of cleaning, the vacuum came out and furniture polish coated any surface that could shine. Mum hated guests coming into our house when it's not clean, so I figured since our guest would be Edward, who being a vampire has a very sensitive sense of smell, it was extra important to erase all dirt.

So here I was a sweaty mess after running around like a headless chicken, with marigold, yellow, rubber gloves on my hands.

_He had better appreciate this._

By the time I was almost done the house smelt funky fresh with a twist of lemon. I had even braved Ash's room to clean. The bags from yesterdays visit were scattered across the floor and her many wardrobes were visibly bulging.

After we had gotten in last night we only had fifteen minutes to assume our positions before Mum came in closely followed by Dad. Our positions obviously were Ash curled up sniffling on the sofa with her cover and tissues whilst I sat at my computer trying to complete my university application. It was taking me a lot longer than I had hoped and it didn't help that I had the head of the school badgering me for my reference interview. Between that and the whole poster fandango I have been seriously lacking in the sleep department.

Ash had passed off the excess clothes as cast offs from her friends. Luckily Mum was too busy to actually check the labels. If she had she would clearly see that what Ash claimed to be from H&M was actually Dior. She already had plans to alter most of the clothes because she was by no means the same size as Alice. I mean she's taller than me and I'm 5 ft 6.

Thinking of Alice caused me to remember my time with them yesterday. It was like that day everything finally clicked. It stopped seeming impossible and finally became a kind of weird reality. I knew my inner fan girl was desperate to come out to play, but when I was around them I found it easy to forget that they lived in a world that millions of people read about and watched.

It was nice seeing Edward with his family. Although you could see the sad look that passed through his eyes whenever one of the couples showed some kind of affection.

I had always known he was lonely before Bella, but to see him with my own eyes it was hard to remember that he would be happy at some point. It was the knowledge that he'll have Bella soon that kept me from crossing the room and giving him a hug. That and the fact that I'm pretty sure it would have been a bit weird, especially for him. Given that I'd only known him for a few days. Plus, there was no way I was being the touchy feely person, it wasn't who I was. Ashleigh was the one in the family who poured all her emotion out of her and was constantly giving out hugs, the little hug-whore.

The idea of Edward's happiness made me smile; the thought of being able to watch him change and lighten up made me feel even better. Don't get me wrong, he would laugh and joke with all of us like everyone else yesterday, but whereas others smiled during the comfortable silence, Edward would sink back into the depression that the jokes had lifted him from. Sometimes I would catch his eyes looking at me and my sister, the way we worked together or our harmless bickering. He seemed to just want a connection with someone.

I was excited to have Edward in my home when I had actually invited him. There wasn't an urgent need to talk about anything, no important information to explain. I figured we could just hang out. Maybe just be ordinary teenagers instead of a 105 year old Vampire and a 19 year old girl with a weird portal poster.

That was the plan, but I still needed to figure out what I was going to do about Mum. She worked part time and today was the end of her week at work. This meant she'd be home a little earlier, about five. This only gave me an hour to decide whether or not Edward should meet the rest of my family. Of course it was up to him, it's not like I could keep him here, as much as my fan girl side would love that.

_Edward would look fabulous tied to the bed. _I balked at the thought and carried on cleaning a little more focussed than before.

I was slumped on my bed waiting for Edward to come.

_Ha if only. _I 'shhh'd' my dirty mind, I didn't want that coming out to play with Edward around.

I had gotten bored and so had my headphones in listening to the Prodigy album. It reminded me of when I saw them at a music festival last summer. The way the stormy sky had hung overhead and anticipatory tension was like a thick cloud in the air. Then the first bass kicked in and it was like nothing I'd ever experienced. The crowd seemed to be completely in tune with each other. As the music pounded, the field soon got churned into mud.

When it all ended, everyone around me left covered in mud, sweat and beer. Images floated through my head of the night, me, Beth and Jemma dancing around in nothing but wellies, shorts and muddy vest tops that were soaked through and dirtied.

"Seemed like it was a lot of fun."

I snapped open my eyes to see Edward standing over me, his hand pressed lightly on mine. His eyes had an amused light in them, and his perfect lips were pressed in a thin line to suppress his laughter at my mental image.

"How did you see that?"I shifted, and his hand fell from my skin. I refused to admit to myself that I missed the contact. I couldn't help but be a little confused, after all due to my fabulous scientific conclusion, we'd worked out he couldn't hear me unless I wanted him to. Like any other scientist I hated to see my theory disproved.

"I don't know, I wasn't doing anything different. I can't hear you anymore now." Edward's eyebrows furrowed together as if he was concentrating very hard. I giggled at how cute he looked.

"So what are we going to do?" He seemed genuinely excited. It was slightly disconcerting that he had gone from glaring at me to seeming quite happy in my company. Was it possible for vampires to suffer from mental illness? Because if it was, I would definitely diagnose him with schizophrenia.

"Erm, well, it's not sunny outside, so I was thinking maybe we take a walk. There's a park a few minutes' from here. I fancy being out the house for a bit, if you're OK with that?" I wasn't sure if going walk-about would be a great idea, but I'd been stuck in the house all day so freedom was looking very tempting.

"Sure a walk it is, you do realise its cold outside," he said this whilst taking in my jumper and leggings combination.

I grabbed a coat from the banister on the way downstairs, meeting Edward at the bottom since he'd flew past me.

"You forget, Edward, I'm a northern girl. I'm used to the cold." He opened my front door for me and waited as I locked up

It was odd seeing him in my mundane grey street; he seemed to brighten it up just by standing there. But at the same time, things I usually found pretty became ugly because of his presence.

We started walking in silence for a few minutes. I just liked taking in the fresh air and wintery streets. The way the pavements seemed to sparkle with the frost that sat on their cold surface. In winter it was like all the colour was drained from this place. Instead of the bright varied colours of spring and summer it became a mass of muted tones. Like each colour had been mixed with grey to dull it into the wintery scene before me. To many it wasn't a pretty sight, but to me there were little things that kept the view from being too drab.

There was the way the ice stuck to the empty tree branches, creating a look of diamonds twinkling when the dim and distant sunlight hit them. Even the way the relatively dull background clashed with the vivid bright red post box at the end of the street. They were small things but I appreciated the way they stopped my eyes from being bored with the scenery.

"So tell me something about yourself, you know so much about me and I know nearly nothing about you" Edwards clear soft voice drifted through the winter's air.

"Well I tell you what, you can ask me twenty questions, but that only stands whilst we're out. As soon as we get back home game's over." I looked over at him over my coat collar. He flashed his infamous crooked smile and my step faltered.

"OK, question one. What is your favourite song at the moment?" I should have known music would be his first question.

"Tough one, it changes a lot, but right now it's 'a drop in the ocean' by Ron Pope."

"I don't think I've heard it before, why do you like it?" His head tilted slightly to the side with his curiosity.

"You realise that's another question." I smirked if he kept asking 'why' then his ration of questions would run out long before we got home. I continued my answer when he didn't speak.

"I just like the lyrics, and the piano is so simple. I connect to it."

"Do you have a favourite colour?" This question was easy; my favourite colour hadn't changed since I was five.

"Violet blue, because it's soothing and comforting. Soft."

"How long have you played an instrument?" I was wondering when he was going to bring up my keyboard. It was a simple enough question but I found my answer being a little more complex to form. There was a story connected to the reason I played keyboard and it wasn't a story I enjoyed talking about.

"I played piano since I was very young but stopped when my grandmother died. I've played keyboard since her death so about eight years. I've had to stop recently because I just didn't have the time. School just got in the way."

Quiet sympathy passed through Edward's eyes but he didn't push me to talk about my grandmother and I was grateful for his decision. I didn't like to talk about her death. She and my grandfather were my mother's and two auntie's parents. They had been like the heart of our large family. The loss of them had been painful, although we all felt it most at Christmas.

It used to be that we would all listen to my grandmother play piano whilst my grandfather would sing little songs. They had met in the war when my grandmother was a nurse and would sometimes play to soothe the soldiers that lay dying in the hospital beds. My grandfather had heard her and sang softly along with the melody of the piano for his gurney.

My grandmother used to always say she had loved him since the moment she heard his voice whilst my grandfather said it was her music that mended his war tortured soul. So every year at Christmas they would sing the same song to the rest of the family and every year their love for each other shone through in every second of their performance.

It was because of this that it was a tradition that every girl in the family had learnt to play the piano, just so that we could feel that little bit of magic that had bound our grandparents together.

However, after their deaths the melodies that flowed from the ivory keys just reminded me of the hole that was now at the centre of our family, which was why I had switched to a keyboard. The feel of it didn't remind me of my grandparents and the loss I felt, but it still let me keep the skill that I had built over the years.

I realised I had drifted off a little and came back, just in time to see Edward's face flash with something I couldn't quite understand.

"Favourite flower?"

I cleared my throat from the lump that had formed there and placed a slight smile on my face as I answered. "Pink lilies."

"Favourite stone?"

"Tanzanite, it's a different shade from every angle. I learnt it's because the light refracts differently through it than diamonds and this causes the shades of blue and purple to change constantly. You can look at a piece of tanzanite and never see the same sight before your eyes." I smiled when I said this, I could remember the first time I'd seen a piece of tanzanite on display in a museum. Even in the dusty environment it looked pristine and mesmerising.

"City girl?" It almost wasn't a question. His tone indicated that he was almost certain of my answer already.

"Through and through, but I've got to be near a beach or somewhere without too much civilisation."

"So you're a bit of a loner?" He chuckled lightly.

"God no! But cheers for the assumption. I just like to have somewhere to think, admire nature." I smacked him playfully in the arm as he grinned at me. Of course it hurt me a lot more than him.

"First pet?"

"Dog called Puddles and a black rat called Jet."

Edward's eyebrows rose at the mention of Jet.

"Why a rat?"

"She was cute and different from a hamster, I don't usually like to conform." I saw his head slowly nod as if I'd told him exactly what he expected.

"What have you always wanted to do but never had the chance? Try not to think about this one too much."

"Bungee jump," I blurted out, his eyebrows rose again, surprised at my choice.

"Why?" His smile was infectious. He seemed to be enjoying himself as we wandered around the large field near my home. A play area was just hundred metres away, usually at this time it would be filled with the local idiots, but for now the coast looked clear so I made a beeline for the swings.

"I like adrenaline. Not in a crazy way. I just like the thrill, speed, heights, that kind of thing." My friends thought I was a slightly crazy for my love of thrill seeking, but I never took it to extreme's, nothing too dangerous.

Edward didn't seem to like my answer very much. I was understandable since he was so fixated on the idea that humans would drop dead at any moment. He was probably imagining what he would do if Bella decided to dangle from a bungee cord 100 ft in the air. Freak out would be my first guess.

I settled myself on the swing as Edward leaned against the frame next to me, watching as I started to swing myself back and forth. My legs extending to a point as I rolled my body to get momentum.

"If you could have any power what would it be?"

"I'd be able to fly, or teleport, or something like that. I think flying would be more fun than teleporting though."

"Have you ever travelled?"

"Yep." I wasn't giving him more than that. I liked the power my answers could hold.

He smirked as he asked where. He knew what I was doing, wasting questions.

"Spain, Greece, Caribbean, France, Italy."

"Anywhere you would like to go?"

"The world." I looked at him as I flew past him on the swing. He shook his heading at my vague answer, smiling that wonderful smile that seemed to glow brighter than the waking moon above us.

"Care to elaborate?"

"That's another question. I want to travel and see the World. I just want to live this life we have to the fullest. I love my family and friends but there's so much out there." I looked towards the now darkened sky. Watching the stars twinkle back at me.

"There's got to be more than this." I whispered to myself, but of course he heard me.

"Are you happy, Holly?" I refused to look at him as I continued to fly through the air on my swing.

"To an extent, I have nothing to be unhappy about. Nice home, good health, wonderful people who love me." I slowed the swing with my feet. I didn't feel like flying right now. I sat looking out across the field where the trees made patterns on the dimming sky. I felt Edward place his hand on mine, the cold barely readable on my already cool skin. I squashed my thoughts and just focussed on the tingling sensation running through my hand, it was like electricity.

"So why the lack of swinging?" He was trying to cheer me up. The 105 year old vampire, who had been alone his entire life, was trying to cheer me up. If he knew I was just down about my lack of love life he'd probably dismiss me as pathetic.

"Just girl stuff." I gave him a weak smile hoping he'd drop it. I didn't want to kill the mood. We were having fun and then I just had to kill it.

"Come on, it's getting dark, I should probably take you home" His golden eyes bore into mine searching out the reason for my drop in mood.

"You do realise, I invited you out, so surely I should be the one taking _you_ home not vice versa."

"Ok then, Holly. Take me home." He offered me his arm like they do in old fashioned movies, and I took it and turned back towards the path we'd come on.

"You know you've still got one question left." I was determined to get back to the carefree vibe we had before, well carefree for me. Edward always seemed a little tense.

He was quiet for a little while as we walked arm in arm. His graceful glide made it effortless to walk with him. None of that awkward bumping trying to get into synch.

"Can I meet your parents?"

The killer question.

I'd been thinking about it all day. We had reached the top of my street and I still hadn't answered. I stopped dead trying to stall, what was the big deal? They don't have to know where he's from. I mean, wouldn't that be fun. 'Hey Mum, Dad this is Edward Cullen from the fictional world of Twilight that I love so much'

Nope, no way am I doing that.

I looked up at Edward and his eyes locked with mine for a second.

Nope, not telling them, not yet at least.

"OK then, if you want to meet them. Dad will be thrilled to see a boy step through the door, he's always complaining about too much oestrogen in the house." I slid my arm out of his and burst through the front door.

"ARE THERE ANY PARENTS PRESENT?!" I twirled out of my coat as Edward shut the front door behind him.

"Hey, Hun, you have a good day? We're having fish tonight, hope you don't mind," Mum said as she popped her head round the kitchen door into the hallway.

Then it hit me; the house I had spent all day clearing of bad smells now had the odour of fish drifting from the kitchen. Great.

Edward cleared his throat from behind me.

"Fish, yum." His face was deadly serious, but his eyes showed he was far too amused by my misfortune.

"Be careful there, _**Eddie**_,I might get her to serve you up some of that smelly goodness." His face dropped instantly

_Score one for Holly._

I sauntered into the kitchen dragging Edward with me, deeper into the fishy doom. His face twisted as he took in the strong smell that lingered in the air. Mum was busy at the sink cleaning up after herself as dinner cooked. I took one last look at Edward's face.

_Get ready to meet the parents, oh and if the fish bothers you that much just stop breathing._

He took my advice and his expression cleared of all disgust.

"Mum, this is Edward."

The look on Mum's face when she took in the Greek god standing beside me was both hilarious and disgusting. I mean she's a fifty year old woman she shouldn't look at a seventeen year old boy like that. Wrong. So very very wrong.

"Um hi, Edward, I'm Sandra." She went to shake his hand but thankfully thought otherwise since her hand still had fish goop on it.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs Jules, sorry to interrupt. It smells delicious."

_Liar,_ I glanced at him and saw his brief smile from my mental comment.

"Well, your Dad's just next door on that Wii golf game again if you want to say hi."

Edward and I left the room as quick as possible, shutting the door behind us.

Time to introduce Dad to the first boy I've ever brought home; even if we're just friends he'll be suspicious.

"Hey, Dad, how's the game going?"

We'd walked in on Dad doing his victory dance which generally involved pointing and twisting.

"It's going gooood, and who's this then?" He'd finally noticed I wasn't alone.

"Edward, sir. It's nice to meet you," Edward answered before I got a chance to.

"Well, Edward, I'm Jason but you can call me Mr Jules. Or if you want to stick with sir, I'll be more than happy with that." Dad grinned, obviously thinking he was playing his intimidating father role well. If only he knew that intimidating Edward was highly unlikely.

"For Christ sake, Dad, stop being such a tool. Anyway, we're heading upstairs, probably to mess around; maybe I'll get pregnant and make you a grandad way too young."

He'd already stopped paying attention to me after 'Christ Sake' getting sucked into his golf game again. As I closed the door behind Edward you could hear Dad cheering.

"So we're going to mess around are we?" Edward smirked at me as we made our way upstairs his voice had lowered to a husky whisper and I had to work hard to stop the shiver before he could tell.

"Well what we're going to do will include a bed, but friends don't mess around. It's the rule." We entered my room, and Edward stretched himself out on my bed as I made my way over to my laptop. A lot of people would say their laptop held their whole life. Mine didn't, but it did hold something that I don't think I could survive without.

My iTunes.

The vast collection of music which I had stored on there had a song for my every mood. The thought of losing that collection was too awful to consider. It had taken nearly a lifetime to gather. I knew if it got wiped I could easily recover the majority of it. But it would've been the minority that I would have missed, those few little songs that you would discover by accident but turned out to be some of the most beautiful pieces.

After skimming through the thousands of titles I found the music I wanted to listen to. _Uh huh_ _her_ was my first choice so _Explode_ filled my room.

"You have very interesting music taste. Seems to have a lot of variety," Edward said as he looked through my music selection. "I mean how can you like Lady Gaga, whoever that is, and Debussy? The two sound like polar opposites." He was mocking my music taste. I knew it.

"Well excuse me, but I prefer to keep an open mind to the artistic creations of modern days musicians whilst also embracing the classical works." Edward seemed a little surprised at my explanation.

"Plus, sometimes I just like to shake it," I finished off. Edward's laughter filled my room and it sounded so much better than the music playing from the iPod dock. I hoped in that moment that I could be there to hear it as much as possible. I wanted to make him happy. I would give him Bella and stand by his side as a friend as he lived out his perfect eternity with her.

That thought held with me through the rest of my time with Edward that night, through dinner and was the last thing in my mind as I closed my eyes to sleep with a smile on my face.

**A/N: Thank for reading,**

**x**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: A little bit of fun.**

**x**

Over the next two weeks Edward and I spent a lot of time together, since I wasn't in school he'd come over when it was sunny in his world or when school was out. My parents had gotten used to him just always being there when they got in. Mum was always pleased to see him because he was polite and somehow he had managed to build some kind of relationship with my Dad. Probably so that Dad could even out the male to female balance in our house.

Today was one of the few days that it was predicted to be sunny in Forks, so here I lay on my bed waiting for Edward to appear through the portal, so that we could carry out our plans.

The idea was to take a trip into Newcastle. I knew it was a risky move taking Edward into the centre of town, but I was getting bored of staying in. I knew if I was getting bored, Edward was most certainly getting anxious for a change of scenery.

For once my ears weren't filled with music; instead I was enjoying some peace and quiet since the whole family was out at either work or school.

The only irritant in the whole peaceful environment of my room was the constant buzzing coming from a fly that was determined it was physically possible to fly through the window.

It would never cease to amaze me how stupid nature could be sometimes.

Since I was waiting for Edward I let my mind wander.

Where did the fly learn that if it repeatedly head-buts the window pane it will eventually make it to the other side?

Was there some high class fly lecturer that educated all other flies that a method of constant head-butting was the only way to get through to the outside air?

Was there some high class fly lecturer that educated all other flies that a method of constant head-butting was the only way to get through to the outside air?

I could just imagine an old dusty lecture theatre filled with little fly students all hanging on the every word of the worldly fly professor as he asked 'What do you do if you are confronted with such a problem as a closed window?'

Hush would of course follow his question as all the students used their eager, but limited, brains to try and figure out such a puzzling conundrum.

Finally a young, superstar, genius fly would raise his spindly leg, and hope he had the answer right. 'If one cannot fly straight through the glass' – he would cogitate as the lecture room fell silent, the other flies sensing they were truly in the presence of their generations Einstein- 'and we have established that the window is closed' he continued, his brow furrowed in total concentration, 'then surely the logical thing to do....would be... to fly repeatedly at the glass, buzzing a lot?'

The other pupils would glance eagerly at the professor to see if the genius had the solution.

He'd merely smile and shake his head. 'No' he would say. 'The answer is that there is no solution to this conundrum. It is an impossible problem, like putting a definitive value on pi. It is a philosophical trick question that cannot be answered, but buzzing a lot does seem to have some kind of positive effect.'

I felt my mood turn irritable when the buzzing and bumping continued. I had to praise the fly's persistence but I couldn't stand the idea of having to listen to another minute of annoying sound.

My body lurched up off the bed. I quickly made my way towards the window to open it and allow the fly out. Perhaps it would run to all its other fly friends and claim that the head-butting theory definitely worked, since it had managed to escape.

I eased the window open and my irritable mood left along with the fly. The breeze fluttered against my skin as I turned my face to look at the houses that surrounded ours. Their shadows stretched across the gardens as the sun rose. I loved the peace and quiet of the morning. It was the only time in the day when all that could be heard was the happy birdsong and the very faint rush of the ocean as each wave crashed onto the shore. Soon the lunchtime rush would hit and all the tranquillity would be drowned out my cars and babbling.

"Good morning." I jumped and smacked my head off the window pane at the sound of Edward's voice.

"Ow," I grumbled as I rubbed the tender spot on the top of my head and turned to see Edward standing before me in his usual state of simplistic perfection. A plain black t shirt covered his torso with scrunched up long sleeves. The dark ebony set off his snowy skin in perfect contrast, adding to chiselled definition that already created his good looks.

When I looked down at my grey tatty jeans and dark turquoise long sleeves top, I felt so drab and boring. So human.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, again...What were you thinking about?" Edward hid his amusement well and seemed genuinely sorry for yet again surprising me. I knew he didn't make much noise when he moved, but it was still unnerving that he could sneak up on me so easily. It wasn't really his fault, it was just his nature but it would be nice if he made a bit more noise. We had briefly discussed him wearing some kind of collar with a bell on it, but he didn't seem to keen. Not even when I said it could be a butch leather studded one.

"I was thinking about flies, and don't worry about the bump. Just come here and make up for it." He looked at me puzzled for a few moments 'til I took the initiative and reached forward for his hand, pulling it up to rest against the sore spot.

He was like my own personal ice pack.

"I feel so used." He smirked but didn't remove his hand from where I held it. Just a few more seconds and I would be good to go.

"Well what's the point in having a friend whose body temperature is pretty much equal to 0, if you can't take advantage of some of the benefits?" I grinned, removed his hand, and reached to collect my large black leather bag and a thick black scarf.

"Does it not repulse you? That I don't feel normal. That _I'm_ not normal." His voice was curious, but I didn't know why he would even ask. Did he think I didn't enjoy spending time with him? That I thought his presence in my life was a negative thing?

"Course it doesn't repulse me, Silly Billy. So you're a bit colder than usual, I like the cold. As for you not being normal, who wants something ordinary when you can have something extraordinary? I personally think normality is overrated." I smiled at him, and he seemed to relax at my answer, but I could see there was still something bothering him.

"You don't care that I'm a vampire? That I've killed people?"We were making our way towards the metro station so we could travel into town.

"Edward, so what if you're a vampire, that's just what you are, not _who_ you are. I like who you are. As for the whole killing people thing, they were what you ate. I eat cows but that doesn't mean I'm abhorred by all vegetarians." I knew my comparison wasn't quite as serious as what Edward was referring to but to me he was just following nature. Plus, at least he tried to avoid killing innocent people. To me that couldn't be a reason for someone to judge him. If anything it could be a reason to praise him, given what he was. Surely it had to count for something in the grand scale of things, that he had used his ability to save people and rid the world of a little more evil. Plus, add in that he had taken it a step further actually defied nature altogether just to be a better person, well that was more than most 'normal' people would do.

"Holly, I hardly think a cow is quite the same as a human," he said and looked at me with a mocking expression.

"Hey, who's to say cows aren't as important. Human's just assume they're more intelligent and therefore worth more. For all we know the cows could be the puppet masters of the world." He shook his head in disbelief as I grinned at him.

"Yes, the world is obviously ruled by cows." He sighed, resigning himself to my baffling argument. It was for the best. I didn't like to lose an argument and even if my point was full of flaws I would still fight for it.

We turned into the metro station, and I bounced towards the ticket machine gracefully followed by Edward. He watched silently as I inserted the coins and the machine churned out two bright yellow day passes.

"Here you go. This is your ticket to the whole thrilling world of the metro." I handed the ticket over to Edward and he pocketed it swiftly, following me to stand on the platform and wait for the metro to arrive.

The clock said it should be due, so that meant we would only have to wait a minute.

"Remind me why you were against getting a taxi?" Edward's face was apprehensive as the yellow electric train made its way to a stop in front of the platform.

"Because a taxi is expensive. Plus, I thought you could do with some experience of travelling the cheap and cheerful way," I explained as we made our way to a couple of retro patterned seats beside a window.

The metro wasn't particularly busy with just a few people filling the seats. Each one lost in their own world of music or fiction.

The floors were dirty and sticky from years of use by shoppers, partiers, and office workers. Stuck to the walls were advertisements for various businesses in the area or plays that were to be performed at the local theatres.

It wasn't the luxurious means of transport Edward would be used to, but it was the main mode of transport I used for getting about. Therefore, I had developed a strange love of it, even in all its grubby glory.

Edward didn't seem to share my appreciation. I could see he was trying to hide his disgusted expression but it was obvious through the slightly down turned position of my mouth and the small crease between his furrowed eyebrows.

The metro ride only took twenty minutes but throughout the whole ride Edward refused to breathe properly, instead taking quick puffs of air whenever the doors opened to let new passengers on. I knew it was mean but it was a little funny to watch his face scrunch up whenever he inhaled. No doubt he was getting the strong smell of stale food, sweat, and possible remnants of alcohol and urine embedded into the rubber floor by the drunkards returning home in the early hours of the morning.

Finally, we arrived at our destination, and Edward exited the carriage swiftly to freedom. He paused at the exit of the station until I caught up with him.

"Edward, welcome to Newcastle." We turned the corner from the station exit and were greeted with the bustling high street that stretched out before us.

It was a Friday, so I knew it would be busy, but it seemed people were starting Christmas shopping early. The crowds were larger than I expected. A large sea of shoppers undulated as they passed from various shops in a frantic attempt to find the items they thought they needed.

I glanced at Edward and hoped the mental voices weren't too much for him, since there were a lot more here than back at Forks High School.

Now that I had him here I wasn't entirely sure what to show him. He would have seen a million shops in his lifetime so these ones wouldn't be much different. There was the Sage Music Centre and Baltic Art Gallery but I wasn't sure which exhibitions they had on today or if he'd be interested in going.

"Ok, since I put you through the metro journey, you get the choice of what we do now we're here. Think of it as a consolation prize," I said, and Edward arched one eyebrow at the mention of the metro.

"After that ghastly means of travel, I think I deserve some compensation not just a consolation prize." We were wandering down the large cobbled street with the sound of a busker playing _Stairway to Heaven _on his electric guitar.

"Aww poor Eddie." He glared a bit at my use of his nickname, but it wasn't anything like the look he'd given me the first time I'd used it. The big bad vampire was softening up a bit, and I was glad he was losing the rod that, at first, had seemed to be permanently shoved up his ass.

"So anyway..." I started, but I didn't get far.

"OH MY GOD!!!!! LOOK!"

I groaned when I heard the loud call, and I felt Edward tense next to me.

I should have thought this through more.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, Holly, _I grumbled mentally and turned to Edward.

_Just follow my lead._

I grasped his hand in mine, and we swivelled us to see a small group of young teenage girls coming towards us with excited looks on their faces.

As soon as Edward turned they gasped and practically vibrated with excitement.

"Wow! You look exactly like him!" A confident girl with fluffed up black hair stepped forward and looked over Edward.

Why had I thought that we could come into town and not encounter any _Twilight_ fanatics?

"Excuse me, can we help you?" I kept my voice calm and looked at Edward to make sure he wasn't panicking. After all, we were so close to complete exposure. However, instead of finding him panicking, his face held a gentle smile. He really was good at masking emotions.

"Erm, could we maybe have a picture of you?" The girl asked, and I could see her and her friends drooling over Edward whilst he stood beside me. They hadn't noticed our held hands, otherwise their drooling goofy expressions would have turned into hard glares, directly at me.

"You want a picture of me and my boyfriend?... Why?" I looked at the girl as if she was crazy, maybe she would get uncomfortable and wander off.

She didn't.

"No, just your...umm.. boyfriend," she stammered as Edward passed over her with his golden eyes.

"He looks just like Edward!" A girl exclaimed for the small group, and I chuckled at her excitement.

"So you're _Twilight_ fans?" Edward purred, and I rolled my eyes.

"Totally! Where did you get your contacts? They're awesome!" The black haired girl bounced happily at having Edward talking to her. I was just worrying that he would see more than he should in their minds. I couldn't have him knowing about the storyline. I had been so careful to evade his questions and intense stares, but it could all be ruined if these girls thought about _Twilight_ too much.

"Holly, here, bought them for me." He grinned at me and I smirked, hiding my little flurry of worry that was happening in my mind.

"Yeah. I found them online. What can I say; I've got a fetish for all things Edward." I winked at the girls, and they giggled, whilst Edward just rolled his golden eyes at me.

"Well ladies, let's get this photo shoot over with. I've got a girlfriend to spoil," Edward said and released his crooked smile on the girls in front of him as they swooned.

I moved to leave Edward standing alone for the girls to take his photo but soon got stopped in my tracks.

I turned to see Edward still grasped my hand with a smirk on his face.

"I'm supposed to be a vampire, I need a victim," he said as if that explained it perfectly. He forgot I knew my Twilight and so did these girls. He was the one they wanted and he wasn't going to pull me down with him. I hated having my photo taken

"What do you mean 'victim'? Edward, in _Twilight_, doesn't eat humans, so unless you're referring to me being like some kind of grizzly bear, then I don't get what you're talking about." I quirked my eyebrow at Edward and he just stared at me with a smug look on his face.

"A victim would look awesome! Please do it! It'll look so cool. Like that part in the movie when Bella's dreaming, and he bites her," the girl emo looking girl said, and I could see now that Edward had planted the idea in her head, she wouldn't drop it. I also picked up on the fact that Edward had picked up on her movie reference.

"Erm ...fine." I huffed and let out an exasperated and nervous sigh whilst I rung my hands together.

_Bad Vampire! I hate having my photo taken. You owe me for this, Eddie boy._

I flashed the image of Edward dressed in black and Bella draped delicately in his arms whilst his mouth edges towards her throat. He needed to know what the girls were looking for; although I was sure he would have already seen it in their minds.

Edward cleared his throat and made an awkward movement to place his hand on the centre of my back. In one smooth movement I was dipped towards the ground. I giggled at the sudden movement, and the nerves of having the camera, along with a group of strangers' eyes, on me. After a eliminating the anxious flutter, I gathered myself enough to smooth out my expression.

I let my head tilt back so that my throat was stretched out in front of Edward, though I could feel my body was still stiff like a board.

_God this is embarrassing._

"Just relax. It'll be over in a few seconds," he whispered, there would be no way of the other girls hearing him.

_Ha that's what he said _My sick mind reared its ugly head, and I snickered at its timing.

He chuckled lightly whilst his hand trailed up my waist slowly, and brushed a strand of hair off my shoulder allowing it to flow down my back.

"I'm trying to be professional here, Holly. I have fans to please and I would appreciate some co-operation. Now act like a helpless victim waiting to be ravished." His words made me smirk and I quirked an eyebrow at him.

_Oh Edward, take me, take me now. I can resist no longer!_

He rolled his eyes and I let out a sigh of resignation.

_I seriously feel like a goon right now._

I closed my eyes, and I could feel the subtle cool feel of his breath hitting the edge of my throat where my pulse vibrated through the skin.

A delicate feather light touch brushed against my neck, and I shivered and sighed at the contact whilst my ears registered the faint click of a camera.

_You dare bite me, Mister, and I'll sue._

I sent the sarcastic thought to him and heard his slight chuckled before he then proceeded to blow a raspberry on my skin making me giggle.

In a second I was back upright as if nothing had ever happened.

"You wanna see?" The lead girl shoved her camera in my face, and I gazed upon the pictures of me and Edward.

Even the background of the bustling street couldn't distract from the sensual images in front of me. The first mirrored the movie image perfectly, except instead of a dark haired beauty in Edward's grasp, there was me. Boring old me.

At least Edward matched the beauty like he was supposed to. His eyes looked up seductively at the camera whilst his mouth hovered over my throat.

The second showed me with parted lips whilst Edward's lips touched gently to my throat and his hand rested in the curve of my waist, holding me prisoner to him.

I had to remind myself that when the pictures were taken we weren't acting as ourselves. We were the characters that the group of girls wanted us to be, the vampire and his victim. The star crossed lovers.

Edward's hand remained on my waist, and I found myself leaning on his chest as we stood looking over the pictures. I panicked realising that my actions would make him uncomfortable.

He hadn't wanted to re-enact the scene, it was me who got us into this and now I was letting my feelings get the better of me just because we'd staged a romantic photo. I had gotten too lost in the moment and forgotten that I was here with Edward, my friend. I've obviously been single for too long.

"Erm... So we better get going." I stepped out of Edward's arm and waved to the girls.

"Bye! Thank you!"They called after us and I gave them a brief smile.

Thanks to them I now felt awkward walking with Edward beside me.

Great.

We passed a few minutes walking in silence as we made our way down towards the river.

I liked the view of the four bridges that you got from standing on the fifth Millennium Bridge. Plus it meant that we could walk through the length of the Newcastle high street. It was, to me, the best way to experience the full diversity of Newcastle. Like a cross section of the city. You would go past the large corporate chain shops and watch as they thinned out to give way to the more unique boutiques and coffee shops.

I looked to see that Edward was taking in his surroundings at leisure, but there was also something in his eyes that showed his mind was more focussed on other things. He seemed to sense my gaze and turned to look at me.

I gave him a shy smile before focussing back on the pavement. If he wanted time to think thing through that was fine by me. It must have been surprisingly to experience just a smidge of the kind of popularity _Twilight_ had here.

"I think I underestimated this place." Edward voice was vague and caused me to look at him puzzlingly.

"We could never live here, in this world."

"I don't understand? Why would you even consider that?" Their life worked fine in their world. They had no need to move. They weren't running from anyone and this world wouldn't change anything. Sure they wouldn't have their thirst to deal with but they would still be immortal. They would still have to move every few years. Plus, I couldn't understand how Charlie and Renée would cope if Bella just disappeared completely. At least in _Twilight_ they got to have a staggered goodbye.

"It wasn't a serious consideration, just a passing though Carlisle had. Obviously this world has benefits that ours does not, but now I can see it would be impossible. We would be exposed too easily." Edward was talking out to the distance, and I knew he finally understood that to people here he and his family would just be living characters from a book, not real people. His whole life here would be ruled by those books, and that would be no kind of way to live. His world may have had downsides and dangers, but at least it gave them freedom that mine didn't.

We had reached the bridges, and I wandered along the rubbery path towards the centre of the arc where you could get the best view up the river.

"Will you still not tell me what will happen, to me, my family?" I flinched at the question. It had been a couple of weeks since he last asked. I had hoped he had moved on, but I should have known his curiosity wouldn't let him. However, I also knew that telling him everything wouldn't be a good idea. Too much was at risk for me to just cave under his intense gaze. He wasn't being fair, using such a potent tool as his golden eyes to try and extract information from me.

"Edward, you know I can't tell you. It's not exactly easy on me, you know, keeping you lot in the dark. I don't like keeping secrets from people I care about." I spoke to my shoes to stop myself from falling for his tricks.

"You do realise you're being stubborn, and unfair. It's my future you're keeping locked up in your mind. All I've got to go on is your word and a few romanticised images from teenage girls." He huffed, and ran a frustrated hand through his brilliant bronze hair, leaving it to fall back into its usual tousled state.

I didn't want to argue with Edward, but he could be so obstinate. His curiosity didn't help matters, because it just kept him persistent.

"Look, stop pouting and just deal with it. I'm not telling you and that's that." My voice was harsher than I had meant for it to be. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and wiped the irritated look off his face, although his eyes still showed his contempt for my decision.

"I do understand, you know, that it's hard for you... not knowing. But you have to trust me, Edward. Plus, a few surprises in your life might make it more interesting. You do complain about being bored." I smiled at him and his expression softened a bit.

"Come here," he said as he slung his arm around my back and pulled me to him, whilst his other hand gave my hair a light ruffle.

"I'd say you've brought enough interest into my life already."

I giggled and tried to bat him off to straighten myself out, but his arms wouldn't let me escape until he had thoroughly messed me up.

"Cheers, you're such a nice friend," I said sarcastically as I tried to de-fluff my hair and smooth out my crooked top.

"I am sorry, Holly, for not being able to let it go. I know it may seem that I feel otherwise, but I do trust you." He stood beside me as I propped my elbows on the hand rail, looking out at the landscape before me.

"That's all I ask for, Edward."

He gave me a cool, strong hug, and I settled into his arms as we looked out over the dark murky river.

In this moment I knew that I had a friend for life.

No matter where I go.

No matter what I do.

Edward would always be just a portal away to offer me a hug, and a way to feel better.

How do you repay that kind of friendship?

I didn't have the answer now but I knew I had my whole life to find it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading.**

**x**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Still loving the reviews. They make me happy, like sticky toffee pudding and ice cream and chocolate and...well you get the idea.**

**x**

I had rethought the possibility of taking Edward out into busy public places. Our trip to town had shown that there were just some places that he couldn't go without getting hassled. So that meant we stayed at home a bit more.

We spent most of our time listening to music. I would introduce him to new music styles and artists, whilst he educated me on his favourites from past decades. Sometimes we'd go back to the park, or take a walk round the nearby countryside and beaches. I had yet to take him to my cove. To me it was like his meadow, special to me and I was waiting for the right time to show it to him. It somehow just didn't seem the right thing to do, too personal.

Although most the time it was just Edward who visited, the other Cullen's had started stepping foot into my world. Alice would come over and check out the latest fashions in our world, or bring clothes she'd found in her closet for Ash or me.

Once Alice started visiting Rosalie would sometimes come along, then Jasper would make an appearance, then Edward, Jasper and Emmett. Dad loved that day, he introduced them to rugby and revelled in the company of three boys as they cheered and ridiculed the players on TV. Emmett's voice could be heard half way down the street when a game was on.

All this visiting finally led to this moment when all the Cullen's except Carlisle and Esme now sat in our living room as we battled on wii sport, tennis. It seemed that the wii couldn't register their super fast reactions so that evened out the competition.

So far in our little tournament Alice and Rosalie had decided to pin their hopes on me winning for the girls' side since Ash lost to Emmett. Watching them had been hilarious, they were both very competitive and of course Ash was screwed when Emmett decided to block the sensor with his massive body. Emmett was now playing against Jasper to decide third and fourth place, then I would play against Edward to find the ultimate winner.

The score was currently 4 – 3 to Jasper. It was out of five. So far Jasper had been playing fair, but we could all see Emmett starting to let his competitive side take over. He was edging closer to Jasper every second.

"Ha suck it, Jazzy, I'm going to woop your ass goooood!" Emmett bellowed as he evened out the score.

"Bring it, McCarthy," Jasper replied calmly. He was keeping his emotions in check, but something was brewing underneath. He had a mischievous glint in his eye.

Alice giggled, closely followed by a wide smile sweeping across Edward's face. She'd seen something and the game was soon going to heat up.

The deciding game started and the gloves came off. Emmett served and dived at Jasper grabbing him in a headlock only to drop to the ground sobbing as Jasper returned his shot whilst he blasted Emmett with a wave of misery.

Emmett recovered swiftly and chose to try pinning Jasper's arms instead. Of course, Jasper retaliated sending an overwhelming wave of calm at Emmett. The next sight I saw was something I'm sure I'd never see again. Emmett eyes drooped as he tried to lunge to return the shot.

"NOOoOOOOooooo," Emmett slurred as he stumbled around the room in a daze.

He lost the game.

I couldn't help the loud laughter that burst from my chest; Ash and I were in hysterics. The image of Emmett stumbling round like a drunk was beyond strange.

He finally went to sit by Rosalie sulking over his loss as she lovingly stroked his hair and whispered condolences.

It was time. Edward and I stepped up to our places.

"You're going down, Eddie boy," I smirked at him; I knew he hated my little nickname for him but I was planning of doing anything possible to win this little tournament. Prove that humans could compete with vampires and win.

I gripped the control in my hand and took one last nervous glance towards the girls on one side of the room. The boys had moved over to Edward's side.

"I wouldn't be so sure." He gave a devilish grin, and I felt butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach. I placed them down to nerves but I couldn't be sure.

The game began, and it started off fine. We were both feigning nonchalance as we flicked our remotes to score the first point. We were only playing three games so the first game was crucial. As the points racked up the tension built. Edward was quick, but sometimes too quick and the remote couldn't catch the movement. I, on the other hand, had a lot of practice with wii tennis and so knew some of the little tricks.

Our audience were cheering and chanting.

It was level at 2-2 the next game would mean everything. My excitement built every time I gained a point and it all exploded when I got to 30-15. Just win two more serves and I win the whole thing. As soon as it turned to 30 I cheered and broke out into my victory dance.

To learn, just follow: shake your ass to the right, and then to the left, do a spin, then jazz hands at the loser. As I completed this, I realised it had went very quiet. Laughter broke out around me as Edward stared with a look that simply said 'What-The-Hell'.

"What was that?!" Emmett spat out through laughing as Jasper joined him.

I raised my head and brought my posture up straight, ignoring the blush that made my face glow. "That my friend was a victory dance, and a very good one if I do say so myself."

"Yeah, Emmett, it's a victory dance, and I think it's fabulous," Alice chirped in, as her, Rosalie and Ash then proceeded to copy my victory dance, including their own made up tune to go with it. Somehow Rosalie and Alice made it look like a graceful routine instead of a silly little dance with awkward moves.

"Come on boys it's fun," Rosalie cooed. Emmett immediately copied; Jasper wasn't quite as enthusiastic and instead just stuck to a spin and the jazz hands. The image of Emmett shaking around was too much to take. I doubled over laughing; till my laughter turned silent and my stomach had developed a happy ache.

Edward just stood and stared, as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Aren't you going to join in, Eddie?" Emmett bellowed as Edward flinched at the name.

"No, but I'm ready to win this game if Holly cares to continue."

I turned serious and looked him dead in the eye.

"I'm warning you, Edward, it's time to play dirty." With that said I fired my first shot. Edward returned it perfectly.

I dodged in front of him as he sent his return. We kept this up dodging and swerving round each other till Edward levelled and what a sight we got when he did

"Yes!" he exclaimed as he power pumped the air and turned to get high fives off the Emmett and Jasper.

I stopped and gawped at him. He mocked _me_ for being overly excited, and then he has his own little outburst. I thought he was meant to be reserved and restrained.

"What? Are you jealous of my skills, Holly?"Edward smirked, and I just shook my head in disbelief. That boy was not the Edward I had read from _Twilight_. I liked that he was already changing because of Bella's influence; then again he hadn't even done that when they were together. Maybe it was just because there was always so much happening in they're world. There was never really anytime to just play around.

I focussed back on my game plan.

We were at 45-45. The decider. I needed something to put Edward off his game. And then I had my light bulb moment.

I chuckled as it ran through my head. Time to play dirty, for real.

I felt the thought build in my mind. Images of lingerie, sexual innuendos, sudsy girls splashing around, moans and panting acted as the soundtrack to my little movie. Just as I fired the last shot I sent the images into Edward's mind. His eyes widened and his shot faltered. He turned to stare at me in wonder, as the Winner sign flashed on my side of the screen.

"I did say I would play dirty" I flashed him a grin and went over to celebrate with the girls. The perfect way to distract a virgin, show him something saucy.

* * *

The difference in Edward during the first few weeks of friendship was surprising to see. His smile was brighter, he laughed and joked. Although he hadn't mentioned her much to me unless I asked, it seemed Bella was working her magic on him. I wasn't sure how their relationship was progressing because the timeframe in the book didn't seem quite right. According to Alice nothing out the ordinary had happened to Bella. So that meant she hadn't been in her car accident or been attacked in Port Angeles. The events that caused Edward to wake up and realised he loved her before then avoiding her for her own good. It was winter so her accident would probably happen in the next week or two. I knew he was in love with her already, his eyes held a new light in them, but when I'd asked Jasper or Emmett if he'd mentioned her or saw her at school they just said he would sometimes look at her across the lunch hall but never talked to her. Jasper couldn't even figure out his feelings.

I knew Edward worried about hurting Bella. He was the same with me and Ash. All the Cullen's were. They monitored their strength constantly. I just hoped that Edward could see that he was so much more capable than he gave himself credit. To be honest I just wanted him to step up and make Bella his, I knew from the book that she was popular with the boys at school. The jealousy must have been eating Edward up, especially knowing what she meant to him. I knew I shouldn't meddle but something in me felt uneasy at Edward's lack of talk about Bella. I refused to let him watch her from afar when he could have her with him always.

A plan formed in my mind. I would need a little help from Alice and would have to deviate from the _Twilight_ plot, not that it seemed to be going quite as it was supposed to be. I grabbed a suitcase and started packing some clothes. It was time to take matters into hand, I was going to Forks.

"Are you sure this is ok? Holly just sprung it on us when we got home; apparently it's some kind of volunteer project?" Mum and Dad were talking with Alice, Carlisle and Esme.

"It's perfectly fine, the kids will love having Holly around and she's no trouble. She'll just stay in the guest room for the few weeks their doing the project. It certainly sounds like a wonderful cause, teaching underprivileged children. I plan on helping out myself." Esme smiled at my parents, and they instantly fell in love with her. No one could be suspicious of Esme she was too sweet and kind.

I had managed to get packed up with Alice's help whilst the parents talked through the details. I had launched the idea on Mum and Dad when they got in. I knew they'd be going out again to their salsa class so that would be the perfect time to leave through the portal.

"OK, well I guess we'll see you in a month, Holly-berry, try to stay out of trouble and we'll see you at Christmas." Dad ruffled my hair and pulled Mum out the front door. Leaving me with messed up hair and panicking about buying Christmas presents.

"Time to go, we've got the room all set up at home, and I may have done a little shopping for you." Alice grinned, I knew what she meant by a little shopping. To me it was not so little.

We stepped through the poster and I did the usual round of hugs and greetings, getting the breath squished out of me by Emmett.

"It's gonna be so much fun having a human living with us!" A light bulb seemed to flash on in his head.

"Dude! I'm making pan cakes!" He then rushed off to the kitchen followed by a clatter of pans, Esme charged after him when she heard a crash.

"Emmett! Be careful with that bowl!" Another crash followed her instruction.

"Esme! I spilt the white powdery stuff!"

"Emmett, that's flour." Esme's soft voice replied, her mothering nature coming through. To be honest it wasn't surprising because Emmett had the enthusiasm of a five year old.

"Feels just like home," I sighed and climbed the stairs to settle into my temporary room.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by in a bit of the blur. Saturday night was a girlie sleepover as the guys headed out to hunt. We all had manicures and pedicures whilst watching _The Notebook_ and _My Sister's Keeper_ courtesy of my DVD collection at home.

When it hit the early hours of the morning I felt myself drifting off and sturdy cool arms lifted me from my spot on the floor. Seconds later I was tucked up in bed snuggling into the softest pillows I'd ever experienced.

It seemed having a human about brought out even more of Esme's maternal side. She was always asking if I wanted anything, and although I didn't want to be a burden it was hard to refuse her amazing cooking. She cooked gorgeous plates of food with the occasional help from Emmett. He seemed very proud of his new found skill. Although, it did take some work. His pan cakes from the first night were.... interesting.

Edward would often join me just to talk, or sometimes just sit near me for company. He disappeared every now and then, obviously to check on Bella, although he still didn't talk about her which wasn't too unusual. Rosalie wasn't too keen on Bella for whatever reasons, so the mention of her earned you a glare.

Monday finally came, and it was time for my first day at Forks High School. Alice attacked as soon as my alarm went off, quickly shovelling me into the shower whilst she rummaged through her new purchases for me to find something to wear. It would seem I shouldn't have bothered packing any of my clothes. It was obvious she wouldn't let me wear any of them.

I rushed through breakfast since Alice had taken a little longer than I thought blow drying my hair, doing my makeup, and stuffing me into a grey high waist short-shorts, black top, dark grey knit tights, and distressed leather black heeled boots. She let me keep my big parker jacket and chunky knit scarf since it was freezing outside.

As the cars, since there were too many of us now for one car, pulled into the school lot I felt my stomach do flip flops. I would be the new girl; sure it's the temporary new girl, but that would still make me the new gossip subject. I hadn't been the new girl... ever. I'd never moved schools in between years, so I'd always known people there. Now I'd be starting a school where I knew hardly anyone. Plus, mix in the fact that I'm English and not the posh tea drinking stereotype English. The northern English, I didn't have a particularly strong accent but it would be enough for people to pick up on different pronunciations.

"Aww crap, I'd forgotten about the fact I have to come to school," I muttered.

"It'll be fine. I'll take you to the office. They'll need these." Edward held up the faked forms Jasper had prepared that stated I was an exchange student.

I perked up a bit at the thought that I wouldn't have to go to the office alone. After opening my door Edward slung his arm loosely around my shoulders as we walked through the school. He seemed relaxed, maybe even happy, to be walking through the corridors with someone who wasn't part of his family and knew who he was. I didn't mind having his arm around me, it was just in friendship. I could hear the whispers and feel the stares of people we passed, but I ignored them. I was happy that he was happy.

The office paperwork was done in no time. Edward had charmed his way through altering my timetable so I had the majority of my lessons with the Cullens. My first lesson was English with Rosalie. I walked awkwardly into the classroom after waving Edward goodbye. Rosalie seemed pleased to see me and shifted the coat and bag she had placed on the desk next to her - obviously preventing anyone else in her class from sitting too close.

I was making my way to the seat when the teacher stopped me and forced me to do the dreaded introduction to the class.

"Hi, I'm Holly Jules. I'm an exchange student from England." I gave them a faint smile as I made my way towards the seat next to Rosalie, my boots seemed to ring out through the classroom

_Jeez it's like they think I'm from another planet_

I looked around me and saw a few people gawping openly at me, even turning round in their chairs to look behind them to stare, whilst other's tried to be discreet and glance out the corner of their eyes.

The class passed with me and Rosalie quietly chatting about the boys in the class. Whenever she so much as glanced at them they'd hyperventilate, and it became a weird kind of entertainment.

I had to wait three more classes before I met Bella. Surprisingly, it was the only lesson I had without one of the Cullens, French. I had already done an A level in French and scored well, so I wasn't too worried about the lesson. Even the introductions had become a little less embarrassing, and I was starting to recognise a few people. It was strange meeting the Forks characters from the book. The majority of them fit their descriptions perfectly but some seemed a little different. Lauren Mallory actually had a pleasant conversation with me in Math whilst Alice and Jasper sat quietly beside me.

As I walked into French class I glanced to the table on the far side where Bella sat with Mike and Angela. After my introduction I made a bee line for the seat opposite Bella and beside Angela. They seemed a little surprised at my eagerness to join them.

"Hi." I beamed at Bella.

_Please like me, please, please, please._

I had no reason to worry. She was Bella after all; of course she'd be nice.

She smiled weakly at me, but it was Mike who spoke.

"Hey, Holly, you were in my English right?" I noticed Mike shift and place his hand around Bella's chair. The shocker though, was that she didn't move away from it. She didn't show any signs of being uncomfortable by his closeness.

"Umm yeah English, yeah. So um ..." That was my coherent answer. I was too confused by the situation in front of me, this didn't happen in _Twilight_. Bella did not accept Mike's touches. Something was wrong and somehow I needed to fix it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**x**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: To whoever is still reading this story, muchos love.**

**x**

I spent the next few days watching Edward and Bella separately. I had yet to have biology with them both.

When they were in the food hall I would see Bella often look up at Edward, a look of wanting on her face. However, as soon as Edward returned the glance she would hide away back into Mike Newton's arms. Edward would then go back to whatever he was doing as we all messed on; the Cullens pretending to eat whilst I finished lunch. Edward seemed frustrated by something, my guess was the way Mike Newton held on to Bella, or the thoughts that he was thinking of her.

It was Wednesday when I finally had biology second lesson.

It was strange. I was fully submerged into the high school lifestyle. So as I walked to the lesson with Edward I nodded and smiled at people I recognised. Some even said hi. I actually felt popular. I'd always had plenty of friends but I was never the popular one. Just someone people knew. Now people wanted to talk to me, learn what I'm like. It sounds a little self-obsessive but I liked it.

I took a seat next to Edward at the end of the bench; this would mean Edward would be between me and Bella. We sat quietly watching as the classroom filled up.

Edward chuckled.

"What?" he seemed highly amused by something.

"It seems you're the new toy. All the boys are positively buzzing to see you in their class."

I blushed at this. I knew I looked good, it was impossible not to when your dressed by Alice, but I didn't think anyone but me would really notice it.

At this point Bella walked in with Mike, Edward tensed in his seat.

_I can't imagine how he must feel seeing her with Mike, the pain of it must be unbearable._

Bella eased herself into herself into her seat and got out her stuff. Edward still hadn't said anything. I was staring straight forward so he didn't feel like he had to talk to me. I gave him a nudge

_Edward, say something to her you idiot!_

Edward rolled his eyes but followed my request

"Good morning, Bella." His voice was perfect, but Bella seemed startled. Did he ever talk to her? Why does she seem so shocked?

"Uh hello, Edward. How are you?" Her voice was quiet as she gazed at him her face looking a little dazed and confused.

"I'm very well thank you, Bella. I take it you've met my friend Holly." I smiled at her and couldn't help but notice the slight glare that she shot at me. Did she think I was competition? I almost laughed at the thought. If only she knew how wrong she was. At least her actions proved her feelings for Mike weren't what they seemed. Now I just needed Edward to get his ass in gear.

"Yeah we met in French on Monday. I think you're in my home tech and history class as well?" I continued to smile at Bella, Edward glanced at her and the glare she was giving me wiped clean off her face as she smiled and nodded.

The lesson started and we all focussed on our notes. I had again taken Biology along with art and English and French at A level so the work wasn't anything new. True to the book Bella was smart and flew through the work. This left the three of us sitting in a slightly awkward silence.

_Edward, talk to her, get to know her. You've got nothing to worry about. It's not like you'll hurt her. You're used to her scent now. I know she seems quiet, but she really is a lovely girl._

Edward huffed and turned slightly in Bella direction. The look on her face was like she'd won the lottery.

I had to admit Bella wasn't quite what I'd expected. She was clumsy, looked like Bella, and she was a little shy but there was something underneath it that showed through. She may be shy at first but when I would see her with her friends in the parking lot or at lunch she didn't sit in silence. She joked and seemed ok with starting and holding a conversation. She may not look to be the centre of attention but this Bella seemed capable of being the centre of attention and doing it without turning bright red. I started to wonder if the Bella in the book was hiding some flaws, jealousy being one of them. After all, the book was written from her perspective so it would make sense for negatives to be looked over.

Bella cast another glance at me, appearing to check that she had Edward's full attention.

Yes, jealousy was definitely an issue for her.

I could understand it. I didn't fit in this story, I wasn't supposed to exist so to her there was bound to be some issue of feeling that she needed to keep Edward from me.

I wondered if it was possible for Bella to sense that her story had been altered to include me. Whether she felt a small amount of unconscious resentment towards me because I had somehow changed the path this story was meant to take.

Maybe she somehow how knew that instead of having Edward all to herself, as she did in _Twilight_, she would now have to share his affection with me, his friend. After all, Edward had never had anyone other than his family and Bella in _Twilight_. She was the centre of his universe. Part of me thought that, even though logically she has no way of knowing, something within her knew that things had changed. That although his universe would still revolve around her, there now featured a small gravitational pull that pulled him ever so slightly away from her.

I spent the remainder of the lesson contemplating my theory of Bella Swan whilst vaguely listening to their conversation. It seemed Edward was finding it a little hard to get strong answers out of Bella at first, but she soon perked up and the conversation flowed naturally. I felt a swell of happiness and left in a hurry at the end of class, leaving Edward to walk with Bella to lunch. It would kill two birds with one stone, Mike would realise he had competition and it would also mean Bella and Edward would sit together and continue their conversation as I, his friend watched with a beaming smile.

* * *

The end of lunch came quickly, and I found it interesting that just a simple conversation between two people at lunch could change everything so drastically.

It took only that single lunch hour for people to start questioning the budding relationship between Bella and Edward.

Their gossip analysed every movement the pair made as they sat away from the crowds. Their table was situated in the far corner, equal distance from the Cullen table I sat on and the table that Mike occupied along with the rest of Bella's friends. It would have been the perfect table to covertly watch the entire lunch hall. Instead the situation was now reversed, and it became the focus of everyone's eyes.

I followed the crowd and flickered my gaze towards them now and then, although I couldn't help glancing towards the seat in which Mike sat. It was obvious to my eyes that my subtle plan had started to form a rift between Bella and Mike. The way he watched her and Edward from across the room was filled with jealousy. His face was tense and his body fidgeted as he tried to distract himself from the sight before him.

No matter how much he tried to prevent himself from acknowledging the obvious connection between Bella and Edward. There was no way he would be able to wipe the thought from his mind, whether it was just a niggling worry, or a definite concern. The seed of doubt was planted, and it wouldn't take long for it to blossom. If I knew Mike's character correctly he wouldn't cope well with the jealousy and anxiety. In _Twilight_ he had been protective to the point of acting with an unwanted possessive nature, and that was when he wasn't even with Bella. I could only imagine how his behaviour would annoy Bella now that he felt he had some kind of claim on her.

It was sneaky and underhand of me to play the situation like this, but I reasoned with myself that it was for the best. Mike wasn't meant to be with Bella. They didn't fit together. They seemed to have stumbled into this relationship due to Mike's persistence or Bella's inability to be unkind. It didn't really matter what the reason was, the point was that they weren't the perfect fit that Bella and Edward were.

As the students all filed out of the lunch hall, I gathered my things as usual and headed towards the French class I had with Bella, Angela and Mike.

A glance to the far corner showed that Edward was still with Bella, still deep in conversation and apparently oblivious to the movement around them.

Edward's eyes glanced up and briefly searched the lunch hall, allowing Bella to register the end of the break. His eyes met mine for a short moment, and I gave him a grin before blending into the crowd that flowed through the corridor.

I couldn't help but be a little smug. If Mike reacted the way I thought he would then I could have finally gotten the _Twilight_ plot back on track.

"Hey, Holly!" A voice interrupted my happy bubble of pride as I practically skipped my way to French class.

I spun to see Mike stalking his way toward me as his eyes cast agitated glances at the people who were obviously still whispering about Bella and her 'lunch date' with Edward Cullen.

"Hi, Mike. How's things?" I could at least try to play innocent and fake ignorance.

"Things are OK, I guess. Hey, you're friends with Cullen, right?" His voice wasn't casual, but to him this wouldn't be a casual conversation. He wasn't talking to me because he liked my company. He wanted information, and since he was a boy he didn't have quite the same subtlety girls used to gossip.

"Yeah. Why?"

"What's going on with him and Bella? Like what are they? Friends or something?" He was looking at me with what he hoped was innocent curiosity, but I wasn't fooled. It was obvious in the way he ran his agitated hands through his spiky blonde hair.

I felt a twinge of guilt when I thought of what I was doing. I had never really tried to influence anyone before. I wasn't the kind of person who used manipulation, but I knew I didn't really have a choice here. It just had to be done.

"I don't really know what's going on. He seems to find her really interesting, talks about her a lot. They'd make a cute couple, don't you think? Maybe you and Jessica could double date with them." I smiled when I saw his eyes showed his mind doing flip flops trying to process the information I'd told him.

"What do you mean me and Jess?" I stopped my smile from widening, but it really was quite hilarious to think that Mike was as easily influenced in reality as he was in the book.

"Well... You guys are together right? I mean you seemed to have a real connection. I just assumed..." We were nearly at class now and I wondered how Mike would act with Bella since they sat together.

"Ermm, yeah...Jess. Sure," He mumbled as we turned into the classroom.

I grinned and almost broke out into my victory dance but suppressed the urge.

_Mission complete._

I couldn't understand how Bella had even gotten herself into a relationship with Mike in the first place, because it was clear that she liked Edward, maybe even loved him. She hadn't caved to Mike in _Twilight_ because she knew what her heart really wanted. So it hadn't made sense that she had chosen the safe option of dating Mike rather than taking the risk with Edward when she first met him.

Then again, who was I to talk? I never took the risk when it came to relationships, but neither did I let myself settle for the safe option.

I knew what I wanted, and it wasn't some guy who thought of me as an interchangeable object to hold onto until they got bored.

I wasn't judging Mike as such. I was sure he wasn't a complete douche, but he still had a mind that didn't quite see a girl for who she was. In his brain a girl was a girl, some just had different appearances to others. That's why it was so easy for me to switch Bella for Jessica in his mind.

I may not have been close to Bella but, being a girl myself, I knew she didn't deserve to settle for Mike when she could have Edward. She was destined to have Edward.

Everything about the two of them fit together. She was the soft, mellow nature to calm Edward's hot-headed stubbornness when he went on a rant.

Her mind was the silence to his constant buzzing. She gave him the chance to feel normal, or at least as normal as possible for a 105 year old vampire.

Plus, Mike just fit with Jessica. They were the classic high school couple, the people that each person remembered when the time came to graduate. In the future they'll be the couple their classmates will wonder about, pondering if they ever got married, or if they went to college together.

Bella and Edward wouldn't be the typical high school couple. They'd be the pair that seemed to be above it all. People wouldn't look in the year book and wonder if they were married with kids and a suburban house. Instead they would just know they were built to last. Their relationship would be unshakeable, and that's what people would remember.

They'll look back and say 'those two were perfect for each other.'

I just want to make sure they were perfect together instead of a perfect possibility never to become a reality.

* * *

Over the next week and a half I watched Edward and Bella get closer. They sat together at lunch whilst I sat with the others. Occasionally I sat with Jessica and her friends, but they got a bit uncomfortable when the rest of the Cullens came to join us. Plus, I only really sat with them to see how Mike was dealing with the transfer of his emotions from Bella to Jess. It seemed it was working perfectly. He and Jessica were the new hottest thing, and he seemed to have completely forgotten about the allure Bella had once held for him.

Although it sucked being back at school, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Having lessons with Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie made it fun

Jasper and I would entertain ourselves as he messed with the moods of the people in our class, causing me to laugh as the teacher broke out into dance, or various students slumped in their chairs in a drooling sleep. My presence seemed to help with his control. He said he could focus on my scent that didn't cause his throat to burn, instead of those of the humans around him. It was nice to know I could do something to help him cope, and it was fun to see a bit more of the relaxed Jasper messing around in class.

Emmett of course made life interesting as we plotted various pranks to pull. Our favourite so far was when we rearranged the classroom gluing desks to the wall to make it appear that you were on the ceiling. I had always wanted to do it and having Emmett's strength and speed finally made it possible. No one ever found out it was us, and the classroom was out of use for a few days till the caretaker put it back to normal.

Alice and Rosalie were slowly but surely teaching me how to use my womanly ways to charm my way out or into anything. It was going a bit slow since I wasn't a natural, unlike them. Plus I hadn't had a reason to use it. None of the boys here caught my eye as such. There were some that were good looking, but there were character flaws I remembered from the book that put me off. Only one boy had really escaped my prejudice and that was Connor. He seemed nice in a boyish, fun-loving, way and he was easy on the eyes too. Not the stunning, inhuman, sex godliness of Edward (which I can admit, even if I'm only his friend) but Connor had a kind of scruffiness that worked for him.

All in all, my days were filled with fun and antics with a bit of school work tossed in now and then. My sketch book was filling up with doodles that described my days, it was becoming like my picture diary.

My nights, however, were strange. I felt a little odd going to bed when no one else slept. Especially since Emmett and Jasper got me back for winning the wii tournament a while ago. Apparently I damaged their ego. This meant when I woke up ready to go to school last week on Friday and found to my horror that a thick black moustache had been drawn on my face.

With marker pen.

The two of them and Edward howled with laughter as I walked down the stairs fully aware of my moustache. I had decided to dress for the occasion and was wearing black high waist shorts with a white shirt, black tie and black bowler hat courtesy of Alice. I decided if they were going to give me a moustache, then I may as well go for the whole androgyny look. Alice and Rosalie joined in but refused to have their own faces marred by a comical moustache. My confidence faltered a little as I walked into the school but when asked why I looked the way I did, I merely stated that it was a tribute to my country and that the date meant everyone in England dressed as you're stereotypical Englishman. Of course it wasn't true but they didn't need to know that. It helped ease the embarrassment, plus it's not like I would be in Forks for that long.

The moustache finally came off by Sunday night so Monday was shame free.

It wasn't just the night-time pranks that made sleep uneasy, I would often wake up cold and with the feeling of someone in my room. Only to find it empty. Other than that I slept like a log. My dreams circled around the budding relationship of Bella and Edward, the smiles on their faces, the whole family happy. I always woke up smiling.

It was the weekend and Alice was planning on taking me shopping in Seattle. I still needed Christmas presents for everyone and a new outfit for the New Years Eve party I knew Shevron was having back home.

I padded downstairs already dressed and made my way to the kitchen. Music floated into my ears, a beautiful piano tune that echoed softly through the walls. I grabbed some toast and made my way towards the piano room, knocking quietly.

The music stopped, and I heard Edward call to come in. I hadn't seen him properly since he started talking to Bella. He would still stop by my room, and we'd talk as I doodled in my sketch book various scenes that flitted in my head from the day. Sometimes he'd join us in the living room, but most the time he spent out the house hunting, or watching Bella, although I wasn't entirely sure.

I slipped into the room and made my way over to Edward. He was sitting at the piano though his fingers were no longer on the keys. I gave him a one armed hug and he patted the space on the piano bench beside him.

He didn't say a word just started to play a melody so sweet and with so much happy emotion. I could feel my smile lighting up my face. He didn't need to tell me who it was about, I could tell by the stunning smile that was spread across his face as he finished playing and looked at me.

Bella. It wasn't anything like the lullaby in the film. It was happier, the tune didn't end on a sad note just one that showed the story was yet to be finished. That anything could be possible.

_It's beautiful, Edward, thank you for playing it to me._

His eyes glowed with happiness and love and I couldn't help but melt a little.

He took his hands off the keys getting up from the bench to stand behind me. He placed my hands on the exquisite ivory, his hands trailed up my arms leaving tingles in their wake. Electricity flared up in me at his touch on my bare skin and he leant in close to my ear.

"Play for me," he whispered and I closed my eyes to clear my thoughts.

_I will as soon as you let me concentrate. Now quit with the vampire voodoo._

He chuckled but took a step back after ruffling my hair. I realised I'd missed not seeing him as often as I used to. I wanted to talk with him and laugh and hear about his thoughts.

I shoved those thoughts away for now, it was selfish to want to spend time with him when it took away time he could spend with Bella.

I began to play, notes drifting from the piano. It was a song my Grandmother had taught me when I was very young. It was something her mother had taught her and so it was passed on through generations. As I focussed to play the song I didn't at first notice Edwards hands brushing a stray hair from my face. I was too submerged in thoughts of my Grandmother. I hadn't played the song since Christmas Eve eight years ago. She died later that night in sleep.

_I miss her so much. _The thought drifted through my head.

"How did she die?" Edward asked softly as my hands dropped from the keys to my lap where he gently rested his against them.

"Heart failure, she missed my Granddad greatly. He died on Christmas Eve, and one year later she passed away. Mum says she died from a broken heart." Talking about it flooded my mind with images of her. The last smile I saw on her face the night before she died and the dead vacant expressionless face left behind when she was gone. That image increased my belief of everyone having a soul. The light in her eyes was gone. I knew that light was her warm loving soul. So when it left her body, her eyes fell flat.

Edward wiped away the tears that had fallen onto my cheek, his thumb drifting softly across my skin and leaving the feeling of sparks in its wake.

I cleared my thoughts, pulling the memories back into the recesses of my mind.

"But I didn't deliberately think that to you? How did you know about it?" I couldn't understand, this had happened a few times before, but Edward still claimed that he couldn't hear me all the time.

"Well, I have a theory of my own. I can't hear you usually, unless you think something at me. That is what we first understood. However I have noticed something. When I'm in contact with you, skin to skin, I can hear you. Not just what you direct at me, but the thoughts that pass through your mind. Just like any other person. They're not as loud as other thoughts but they're there. Sometimes they become very muffled as if you block them off, like now. The only explanation I have for it is that when I touch you, you become more real to this world, to my world. I can feel you, so I know you're real and not just an illusion. My mind reassures itself that you're here, so my ability works as normal. As for when they become muffled, I can only assume you pull your thoughts from the surface of your mind. As if you take them further into your psyche. Like how an object can be seen on the surface of a pool but gradually disappears as it sinks deeper."

I mulled this over; it made sense in a way. After all, I had said I wasn't really on the same wavelength and that was the reason for him not hearing me in the first place. The realisation also scared me a little. I would now have to watch my thoughts whenever he touched me, because there were definitely times when his touch created thoughts I didn't want him knowing. They would only embarrass me.

But if, like he said, I could keep them away from the surface of my mind. It might work.

He looked into my eyes and slowly picked up my hands again, the electric tingle and cool touch creating a pleasant sensation on my skin. I couldn't figure out what it was but I knew I liked it. I knew he was seeing every thought I had and I was glad at that moment that I could picture him and Bella smiling and the happiness it brought me.

Edward pulled away and dropped my hands.

"The idea of me and Bella makes you happy, doesn't it?" He looked at me watching my face.

I placed my hand on his cheek and closed my eyes, letting everything I felt about him and Bella flow through my mind, the happiness on their faces. The memories of me watching them talk at lunch.

_Your story is one that in my world made millions of people happy and gave them that little bit of hope that love can overcome all difficulties. I can't explain to you the feeling that I get when I see you both together. I'm the luckiest girl alive to have you as a friend, Edward, and I'm beyond happy knowing that one of my closest friends is in love._

I removed my hand from his icy cheek and opened my eyes, and looked into Edward's beaming face.

"Thank you," he said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

_You're more than welcome. You deserve to be happy, Edward. No matter what you think._

I sighed as we parted and left Edward to his music. I met Alice at the car.

"You ready to shop, like you have never shopped before?" She didn't wait for an answer as she sped down the driveway on to the open road.

**A/N: Thanks for reading.**

**x**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: You know the drill, read and review...or just read.**

**x**

"Jasper! Holly needs a pick me up," Alice called as she shut the car door. I was exhausted. I would have been quite happy to just sleep in the car.

"Alice, what did you do?" Edward had come into the garage closely followed by Jasper. He seemed a little worried by my state.

"Shopping... sooo many bags. Sleep now. Mmmmm," I gurgled my way through the sentence and felt someone pick me up out the car. I assumed it was Edward. His quiet laugh shook through his chest and his breath tickled my skin. He smelt heavenly as always.

"I don't think there's anything I can do that will pick her up from this state, Alice. She's shopped out." Jasper chuckled at his wife.

The voices faded as I either fell into a deeper sleep or Edward travelled upstairs. I felt my body being laid out on the bed and my shoes removed. Rustling of covers were followed by complete comfort. I could feel reality slipping away and I gave a small sigh as I drifted off.

The last thing I was aware of was the faint touch of Edward's hand as he stroked through my hair as he hummed a comforting tune. I couldn't figure out where I'd heard it before, but it was angelic coming from his voice.

* * *

My last week in the Cullen residence was spent stressed out. The snow had come and gone and no accident had happened. Had I altered the story that much for Bella to never be involved in the car crash? I didn't think it was possible but the conditions were completely different. For some reason even though it was only a week to Christmas the weather had warmed a little. Instead of slushy snow there was just the usual rain and cloudy sky.

It was my last day at Forks High School, and although I had only been there a few weeks, it felt strange to leave it. People had given me phone numbers and email addresses saying to keep in touch. I was pretty sure emails couldn't be sent through universes, but I took the contact details anyway.

Bella had warmed to me a little. We'd make small talk in class but she never really opened up. I could see her look at me out the corner of my eye sometimes, as if trying to find something that wasn't there. At the end of our last lesson together I felt that although we might not be close, we both shared one thing in common. We both loved Edward. Not in the same way but we loved him nonetheless. It was with this thought that I turned to Bella as she gathered her things

"Bella, I just wanted to say it's been nice getting to know you. Edward is one of my close friends, and it's nice to see someone notice him for who he is. I know a lot of people here don't like the Cullen's, so thanks for taking the time, I know he appreciates it." I smiled warmly as I remembered Edward's smiling face. She made him happy and he deserved it, no matter that he thought otherwise.

Bella seemed a little stunned at the strong emotion that ran through my comment, but she nodded anyway.

Me, Alice, and Edward were waiting for the other's to join us at the Volvo. The plan tonight was to have a bonfire out in the woods, celebrate my time with them. It would also be a chance for me to give them the Christmas presents I had bought for them since I wasn't sure if we would meet near Christmas.

Bella waited for the rest of her group by her car, I noticed her glance up and smile at Edward. He looked towards me and I smiled nudging him towards her. It made sense for Edward to be closer to Bella, I was still uneasy about the fact that the car accident was yet to happen. If Edward was next to Bella at least she would be safe.

As I watched Edward walk toward Bella I saw Jessica waving me over on the other side of the lot.

"I'll be right back, I think Jessica wants something."

"Well as long as it's not Edward's phone number then its OK," Alice snickered as I turned and walked towards Jess.

It all happened too fast. I glanced towards Edward who was watching me over Bella's shoulder a slight smile on his face, and then a loud bang filled my eardrums followed by screeching tyres. My head turned in what seemed like slow motion towards the sound. Headlights hit my face. I tried to get my feet to move, but they were frozen solid to the spot. I wanted to close my eyes and wait for the impact, that moment when pain wipes out every conscious thought, but I couldn't. I took one last look at Edward. Our eyes locked, and in that moment his eyes showed so much pain. There was nothing he could do without Bella noticing and he knew it.

I couldn't make my mind form a coherent thought, nothing to ease his pain. I knew my death would hurt him but only temporarily. Bella would be beside him soothing the pain and building him back up to be stronger. He'd have an eternity to build new friendships. I was never going to be the only friend he had.

My eyes closed. The sound was louder now; the car would hit me in a second. I wanted my family, I wanted my friends. I wasn't ready for my short life to end yet.

My body was slammed, but I felt no pain.

Next I felt the cold rough ground below me.

Grit cut into my skin, salt stinging the cuts. I couldn't feel any other pain and briefly wondered if the car had broken my spine. Screams erupted around me. I drew my first breath since before the accident. I could taste blood on my tongue and my head started to pound from the impact.

"HOLLY! Holly! Come on open your eyes! Please!" An angelic voice sobbed close to my ear, I couldn't tell who it was because my ears were ringing and distorting the sound. A cold hand brushed lightly against my forehead.

"Is she OK? She has to be OK!" A deeper voice than the first rang in my ears. It brought images of intense golden eyes, a boy so beautiful just being near him made me a little happier.

_Edward, am I dead? Why does my head hurt?_

I wanted to talk, but I feared the pain it might bring

"No, you're not dead; you just hit your head as you fell when Alice pushed you out the way. I was so worried," Edward breathed in relief, his voice was so close to me and his breath caressed my skin.

My eyes fluttered open. I instantly regretted it. The pain in my head increased at the bright light above me. I tried again desperate to know where I was. I stared straight into the worried faces of Edward and Alice. Alice looked as if her cheeks should be stained with tears.

"I didn't know if I could save you, but I had to try. You looked so helpless," she whispered because her voice cracked, and she turned into the waiting arms of Jasper. His gaze was fixed on me, and I realised what he was doing. Easing my pain, keeping me relaxed from the shock that should be running through me.

"Thank you." It barely left my lips, but I looked at Alice and Jasper in the eyes so they knew.

The commotion around me had increased, paramedics pushed through what I assume was a crowd of teenagers. Edward pulled away from me slightly, the sooner the paramedics got me to the hospital, the sooner Carlisle could treat me. I'm sure this thought eased Edward's worry a little.

Jasper's influence lasted through the paramedics moving me. But since he couldn't come in the ambulance I waited for the pain to roll through me. All that came was the slight sting from the cuts on my hands and face along with a headache from the impact.

Edward dashed beside me as the paramedics made their way to the ward where I'd be checked out.

Carlisle breezed through the doors, and I gave him a bright smile, I was feeling more alert and the pain had gone thanks to the painkillers the paramedics gave me.

"Hi Carlisle, I had a little accident."

"Holly, you were almost hit by a van, please don't act as if that is _nothing_, just a walk in the park." Edward huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I rolled my eye's at his frustration. He could be so melodramatic sometimes. Truth be told, nothing particularly bad happened. I just fell over. Once you take out the whole truck coming towards me part.

"Let me check you over anyway, you're too important to all of us for me to cut corners." Carlisle's gentle eyes warmed, and I knew he wasn't going to just let me leave unchecked.

I sighed and let him poke and prod without fuss. Thirty minutes later I was walking out to the waiting room with a band aid on my cheek. Edward was close at my side with a hand softly on my back.

I was hit with cheers and comments of relief from people from school. I knew a few of them were only there for Tyler who was driving. After saying goodbye to everyone, the Cullen's eased me into the Volvo. The atmosphere was a weird mix of tension and relief. Edward still seemed bothered by the accident.

"So can we still have the bonfire?" I was looking forward to it, the night was starting to settle in and the idea of a warm roaring fire was too tempting to give up.

"Of course! We've got everything sorted. Jazz and Em got it set up at lunch, we've got marshmallows and blankets, it's going to be awesome." Alice broke the tension easily, and we all relaxed as the car pulled up at the Cullen house. Esme was waiting at the door surrounded by the glow of the house.

"Thank God you're all right, honey!" Esme hugged me tight.

"Honestly, Esme, I'm fine, nothing some toasted marshmallows won't fix." It was nice that they cared, but I was never really one for the fuss.

Alice wrapped me up warm as we danced around to some of the newer chart songs I'd given her.

After a full dinner from Esme it was time to leave. Me and Alice wandered downstairs, and I turned to go down to the garage.

"We're not taking the car. We're running" My heart sped up. I knew exactly what that meant and the adrenaline junkie in me was jumping for joy. Then the main issue hit me. In order for me to run I would need to be carried by someone. At that point Edward appeared at our side his eyes dancing.

_Don't you dare drop me._

Edward chuckled as he brought me up onto his back. I wrapped myself around him, but made sure not to allow our skin to come in contact. Being this close to him meant that I could feel every muscle in his back as they flexed and his scent intoxicated my mind. We may have been just friends, but I was still a girl.

All the Cullens stood in a line facing the forest.

"Right, since Edward is carrying Holly I figured that might slow him up enough for this to be fair."

"Cheers, Emmett!" I bellowed not thrilled about his hint about my weight.

_I'm not that heavy, am I?_

Edward snickered quietly but shook his head.

"OK, marks....set...GO!" Emmett's voice echoed behind us.

The feeling was like flying, the speed exhilarated my body. My blood rushed and my heart pounded. The forest blurred around us, wind flew through my hair. I could hear faint laughed echo around us, this only urged Edward on, he pushed harder through the forest. The thrill of it caused a giggle to escape from my mouth. Once it started I couldn't stop.

We finally slowed in a clearing, my hair fluttered back down my back. Edward pulled me round in front of him. His eyes shone with his exhilaration.

"Now that's I've got you alone for a few seconds. There's something I wanted to do," he breathed the sentence out in a rush, and then crushed me against him in a tight hug, his arms wrapped around me. I melted into his touch. I could feel him stroking my hair as he took a deep breath taking in my scent. He released it slowly. I sighed as his cool breath flowed through my hair and tickled my neck. When he pulled away, I could tell the tension from earlier was gone. In that moment I could feel everything he felt during the accident, I felt how much our friendship meant to him and it overwhelmed me. My smile reflected in his eyes.

Emmett burst through the trees closely followed by Jasper.

"Aw man! I thought I finally had it this time!" Emmett sulked over to the left of the large pile of logs where he was met by a graceful Rosalie. Jasper looked towards Edwards with a look of confusion then smiled brightly.

Alice jumped from nowhere and landed in Jasper's arms as he twirled her round. Her giggles tinkled through the air around us. The last to arrive were Carlisle and Esme. They entered the clearing hand in hand, not a care in the world except each other.

I heard the logs start to crackle behind me as the fire flared to life.

* * *

The fire lasted a few hours. It threw out heat that made my face glow.

We all sat round the fire, blankets scattered around as we lounged on big plush pillows. Emmett tried to scare me with scary stories; he even made all the noises. It didn't quite work since I was in the safest place I could be, nothing could hurt me with seven vampires around as ironic as that sounded.

Each family member took turns to tell tales from their existence. Rosalie spoke about how she met Emmett and what he was like as a newborn. Apparently it involved him having an issue with wearing clothing. Carlisle's memories were fascinating, the places he'd seen and the cultures he'd experienced had me fascinated. Edward watched me from across the fire as I took in every detail I could. The stories which included the Volturi weren't my favourite. I knew they weren't supposed to be the bad guys but after reading _Breaking Dawn_ I couldn't have the same respect the Cullens seemed to have for them.

When it came to toasting marshmallows I stuffed my face with the gooey mess whilst Emmett and Jasper took to flicking the sticky goo at each other. The game was that each body part had a point score. The forehead being the bull's eye. They dived around us, white goo flying in different directions whilst Alice squealed about them ruining their clothes and Rosalie hissed whenever they got to close to her.

I'd given each of them their present. The men each had a simple watch with a leather strap. Jaspers was tan, Carlisle's dark brown and Edward and Emmett had black. Each watch had the owners name engraved in the back, it wasn't much but they each thanked me. The women each had a silver chain necklace with a simple carved precious stone. Alice's was amethyst, Rosalie was rose quartz, and Esme had jade. They put them on and even I had to say the choice of colours suited them perfectly. The pendants sat beautifully against their pale snowy skin. Edward offered me a long slender white box with a violet blue bow tied neatly around it. I pulled the ribbon from the box and watched as it fluttered and shimmer from the fire light. The box eased open to reveal a dazzling simple silver bracelet. It was a simple silver chain that seemed to flow over my skin as I lifted it from the box. The clasp had a small detailed silver holly leaf dangling from it. It was exquisite in its simplicity.

"Thank you so much it's stunning." My voice came out as I whisper as I took in the beauty of the object in front of me.

Edward swiftly fastened the clasp, and I looked in awe as the silver shimmered in the moonlight above us.

"I'm glad you like it," Edward whispered, brushing back my hair that had fallen forward.

Eventually the fire died down, and I felt myself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

My dream state altered, the images of the day shifted into swirling colours and shapes flowing through my head.

"She could have died. How could you not see that happening?" an angry distant voice drifted through my sleeping mind. Cold rested against me gently as cool air touched my cheeks fluttering strokes

"I can't, I've tried before but she's never there. I can see the actions around her of other people but even if she's involved I can't see her present. It's like she's invisible. If I try to see just her there's nothing but mist. Like a thick haze. I hate it, leaving her this vulnerable" A lighter voice rang through my ears.

I felt that I was asleep, but nothing was clear, sounds blurred together.

"She can only try, we should just be glad that nothing happened" the gentle voice obviously tried to soothe the comments between the first two. I couldn't place names to any of these distorted voices; my ears were too muffled to clearly distinguish between them.

"What do you mean nothing happened? Do you have any idea how it felt to just stand there trapped by human eyes, watching her. It was torture, I'd never felt fear like that." The first voice hissed, slicing through the air around me as the tingling cool sensation brushed down my cheek once again.

"We should move on, she won't want t us arguing." A new voice tangled in my dream state. My mind gave up trying to understand, and instead let go of the noise around me letting the silence seep through and ease me into sleep.

* * *

I woke to dim morning light diffusing through the transparent curtain in my room. I couldn't remember getting back to the house but somehow I was in bed, in cotton PJ's, my silver holly bracelet still around my wrist.

I showered and dressed, this time in my own clothes instead of Alice's purchases which had somehow increased in quantity. My suitcase was bulging plus I had five bags to somehow carry through the portal.

The Cullens were gathered in the living room, and Edward flitted to my side to take my bags.

They still each had my presents on, I felt a little swell of pride that they really liked them and weren't just being polite.

I said my goodbyes, giving tight hugs to everyone except Emmett who decided a headlock and noogie was the best way to do it. Edward had already taken my bags through the portal in front of me, so I took one last look at my temporary family and took my step home.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The first day I was back my parents over did it a bit on the affection. This all went back to normal pretty quickly.

I didn't see Edward or any of the Cullens over the week building up to Christmas. I guessed they wanted to give me some time with my family or were just busy. I, however, used the time to catch up with my girls. Apparently they thought I'd dropped off the face of the earth. I had to pretend my phone wouldn't work where I was. This of course wasn't a complete lie; my phone really didn't work in the Cullen world.

The main topic of conversation between us all was the upcoming party at Shevron's house, since we had decided not to exchange gifts this year. Students were notoriously known for being too broke to spend money on anything but food, and alcohol, therefore Christmas presents weren't possible.

Shevron's party was for New Year, and she had invited as many people as she knew. She even had plus ones for people so it looked like the number of people going was reaching one hundred attendees. It would be the social event of the year, so that meant the outfit needed to be perfect. We'd just spent the past two hours going round the group discussing options, who was taking who, how excited we were. Now it was my turn.

"So Santa's little helper, did you treat yourself to any new clothes after doing all your good deeds?" Rianna asked. Mum had told them the same thing I had told her, so they thought I was teaching children. They also knew about my new friends. Lucky for me Mum hadn't mentioned too much about the Cullens but I could feel my friends were curious, any moment they could pounce.

"Well the girl I went with took me shopping a few times, so I've got some new things. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to wear. Maybe a dress, I found a nice one when I was away. Not sure about heels." I knew exactly the dress I would wear. Alice had picked it out and I instantly fell in love with it. It was a very deep indigo purple velvet dress that hugged my curves but wasn't skin tight. It had a gorgeous scoop neckline that was copied on the back. The sleeve came to my elbow and the dress finished in the middle of my thigh. When I tried it on I felt sexy and sophisticated.

"Ooo sounds good, and you should definitely wear heels. Jack's really tall so you don't want to be too short for the kiss at midnight." Jemma winked at me as I blushed. Jack (the guy who had been bugging me a lot lately) was invited to the party and since my friends thought I liked him it was practically decided that he would be my kiss at midnight.

"I don't know, Jemma, you do realise Will is going to be there. He's been in love with Holly for years now. Maybe this time he'll finally make a move." Shevron grinned at me. My discomfort increased tenfold. I had forgotten about Will. I knew how he felt but I only ever saw him as a friend no matter how sweet he was.

"You never know maybe Holly's met someone on her travels. You know what her mum said about that boy," Beth cut in and they all smiled conspiratorially. They wanted gossip and they were about to attack.

I played with the holly bracelet that hung on my wrist. How much could I tell them about my relationship with the Cullens?

"Ummm, not exactly. He's just a really good friend. I actually met him before I met his sister. The rest of his family are great too. He has two brothers and another sister. Really fun. They're all adopted. You'd like them." I thought that was vague enough.

"So are you bringing him with you to the party? Maybe his family could come, parents obviously not included." Shevron liked the idea of new people being introduced to the group; she just liked getting to know people.

I didn't have an answer to her question because I had no idea if Edward would even want to come. It seemed unlikely that someone like him would want to spend time with a hundred drunk teenagers. Maybe he'd want to do something with Bella; after all it would be his first Christmas and New Year with someone of his own. I didn't want to get in the way of that. Still there was part of me that wanted to see him there. See how he interacted with my friends. I wanted to introduce him to the 'house party', the dancing, socialising and music. I couldn't help but be curious about how he would react to my modern culture because let's face it Forks was exactly party central.

The girls gave up their drilling for gossip and left in a flurry of hugs and 'Merry Christmas's leaving me to scurry upstairs and wrap the presents for Mum and Dad with Ash.

* * *

Christmas morning, I was woken up by Ashleigh. Not at a nice normal time but instead 4 in the morning.

She bounced excitedly on my bed, her hair in golden plaits and her blue eyes bright with excitement. I flipped on the light and both me and Ash gasped at the small pile of presents that sat next to the Edward poster. There was seven in total, all wrapped in pearly white paper. Half had violet bows whilst the other half had bright pink. There was a note on top.

Did you really think we would let you get away with just one present? The purple bows are yours and the pink are for Ashleigh. Hope you're both well and have a Happy Christmas

Love from your friends 

The Cullens

xxx

I handed Ash her three presents as she squealed.

Unwrapping didn't take very long. Unlike Ashleigh I saved the pretty blue ribbons; it seemed a shame to get rid of them.

Ash had been given some expensive perfume, followed by expensive moisturiser, all topped off with three expensive solid silver bangles. Whilst she tested out the moisturiser that smelled gorgeous and spritzed herself with perfume, I quietly looked at the gifts in front of me.

Alice and Rosalie had given me a pendant that matched the one's I'd given them. On it was a violet-blue crystal cut in a perfect teardrop. I placed it round my neck and liked the feel of the weight on the precious stone against my skin.

The next gift was from Esme and Carlisle; they had given me a leather sketch book and some new pencils. My old sketch book was full and my pencils had been sharpened to stubs.

Emmett and Jasper had bought me the latest driving game for the wii, I couldn't figure out how they managed to get their hands on it, since the wii hadn't been invented in their world.

The last present was from Edward, it was a CD case. There was nothing written on the front to say what was on it. I didn't have time to look inside when Ash started bouncing on the bed.

"Come on," I whispered taking Ash by the hand. Before she could object about no looking nice we stepped through the portal in front of us.

There was no one in the hall way when we arrived.

"Hello?" Before the last syllable was out of my mouth the Cullens appeared from their various rooms. Ash ran forward and grabbed hugs from everyone, even a rather stunned Edward.

"Thank you SOOO much, my mate Emily is gonna freak when she smells this." She shoved her moisturised hand up to Edward's nose, but he didn't have a chance to comment on the smell before she had twirled off in a new direction towards the living room. The majority of the family joined her but me and Edward were a little behind them.

"I really didn't expect anything else. They really are very thoughtful. Have you seen Bella? I bet it's nice having someone for the holidays. Have you been spoiling her rotten?" I smiled, I knew Bella wouldn't let him splash out too much.

"Well firstly, you should expect it. You're my friend, a part of my life. Spending money on the people I love is something I like to do. Secondly, it is nice to have someone for a change, and thirdly I haven't given Bella anything, there hasn't been a moment to do it."

"Well I guess you have all the time in the world. And for future reference I promise to let you buy me presents, if it makes you happy. After all, who doesn't like presents?" I grinned at him. I know it was selfish, but I loved getting gifts and I'd find some way to repay him.

"We had better get back. We just wanted to say thank you and Merry Christmas." I dragged Ash away from examining Rosalie's new shoes.

"Have a nice New Year as well." I wasn't sure when I'd see them again, after all New Years is a busy time.

"Do you have plans?" Jasper asked.

"Erm well I don't know about Ash or anything, but my friend Shevron is having a party. She said I could invite people, so you should come. If you want."

For some reason I felt nervous asking them.

"Well we had planned to visit the Denali's..." Alice was passing a glance to Edward.

"I'll come; I was looking for a reason to avoid seeing Tanya without being rude." Edward looked sheepish, I didn't know the full history between Edward and Tanya but from the family's reaction it was colourful.

"OK well, good. It starts at eight so just come over then." I filled him in.

Edward smiled. "Alright it's a date." He gave me a wink, and I laughed turning to the mirrored portal.

I turned towards Ashleigh; she was beaming at the idea of getting her hands on me and make me over.

"So I'll see you on New year's Eve, Edward."

And with that me and Ashleigh passed back into my room to go pester Mum and Dad. Five a.m. was more than enough of a lie in for them.

* * *

Christmas day was hectic. I come from a large family so when it came to us all squishing round the table you were lucky to have room to move. As always we didn't complain and just enjoyed the chance to see each other and embrace the Christmas spirit. We didn't often get together as a family, just on special occasions like Christmas and birthdays. I sat looking at the CD Edward had given me; I'd finally had the chance to read the track list that was inside the case. He had given me a CD of his music, compositions that he'd written. Some were for his family, others were just unnamed or songs I had said I liked by other composers. Three song titles caught my attention.

The Meadow

Holly's Song

Bella

I hadn't had a chance to listen to the music yet but I felt a lump in my throat when I saw that he had written a song for me.

"What's that Hols?" Mum was leaning over the sofa to look at what was holding my attention.

"A CD Edward gave me; he plays piano and writes music. He knows how much I love it so he recorded some for me." I had to clear my throat to stop my voice from breaking up. My gift to him seemed so insignificant compared to this.

"Well stick it on, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we all listened." I felt a little uneasy, after all Edwards music was personal to him. He poured so much emotion into it. It seemed unfair to just flaunt it to my whole family. Mum's waiting face made me follow her request.

I placed the CD in the player and hit play. The first song was for Esme. The soft tones of the piano keys played through the room and the conversations around us slowly ended as people took in the beautiful complexity of the composition. Each note shone with the love Esme exuded and the commitment Carlisle showed towards her. However, I could hear the longing in those notes, the loneliness that passed from Edward into the music. I wondered if I only noticed this because I knew him.

I stopped the CD after the song ended; I didn't feel right listening to it all in front of my family.

"Wow, that's boys got some talent. You're a lucky girl there, Holly" My drunk aunt piped up from her champagne glass.

"We're just friends," I replied, but I was drowned out by the conversations that had restarted and somehow seemed louder than before. I could hear the last note of Esme's song still present in my mind.

* * *

"Ashleigh! He's going to be here in ten minutes exactly! I still need to find my shoes!" Ashleigh had finished with my makeup and hair.

I had reined her in a lot, because even though I wanted her help I still wanted to look like me. My hair fell in soft waves as usual down my chest; my bangs had been swept to the side as I had a sleek side parting. Ash had given me soft smoky eyes using dark blue and purples, silver dotted in the inner corner of my eye making them look big and sparkling. My eyelashes were curled; my pink full lips shimmered slightly with my lip balm.

I felt fabulous.

Ash came bounding into my room holding my matt platformed heels. They matched the dress colour perfectly and I loved them. Shoes were my absolute weakness, and out of all of them I loved heels the most.

I slipped my feet into the shoes and stood to show Ashleigh. I had chosen not to wear tights because the dress showed off my creamy skin perfectly. Even if it did mean freezing during the walk there.

"FAB-U-LOUS." Ash grinned; she was excited to have the house to herself since our parents were also out. I was a little anxious about leaving her unattended but figured if mum and dad could go out and not worry, I could too.

"I agree." Edward's velvet voice came from behind me; I spun shocked to see him standing looking all kinds of handsome.

His hair was bronze perfection shining in the light of my room. I tore my eyes away from his chiselled face and moved my eyes up along his outfit, trying hard to ignore the god-like body underneath it. He was wearing black jeans with plain black shoes; his hands were tucked into his jean pockets making his grey shirt stretch across his biceps. He had the sleeves rolled up slightly to show his toned snowy forearms. His shirt had the 2 top buttons undone revealing a small glimpse of his broad chest. My eyes returned to his and I saw amusement dancing in them. He had noticed me checking out his outfit. Or should I say checking him out.

_Bella, Bella, Bella._

I chanted in my mind as I composed myself.

"You'll do." He smiled his crooked smile at my comment.

"There's just one thing missing." He reached to my jewellery box on the counter top and pulled out my silver pendant with the violet blue stone. I pulled my hair away so that he could fasten it clearly.

His cold touch made Goosebumps spring up on my neck, He slipped the chain around, his fingertips brushing my skin lightly.

"There, perfect," he said as he came round to admire the necklace sitting on my skin. His eyes burned when he looked up at me.

I cleared my throat, I hadn't realised it had tightened. "Thank you."

"Have fun guys, Edward don't let her get drunk. She might do something she'll regret, like Jack," Ash shouted from the front door. I cringed at the thought of the neighbours listening.

"Who's Jack?" Edward questioned playfully as we walked towards the party. It would only take 5 minutes.

"Jack is someone you have to save me from. Just make sure he's not around me at midnight because I do not want his lips anywhere near me."

"OK consider me your knight in shining armour." He flashed his smile again. At this rate I'll be a puddle of goo by the time we reached the party.

"Oh honey, I already do," I replied with a slightly mocking tone. Edward snickered.

I could hear the music now; I stole a look at Edward. He seemed a little nervous. This thought made me smile, the big scary vampire is scared of a few teenagers.

We walked in the door and there were more than a few teenagers. A lot more. I felt sorry for Edward's brain, the amount of thoughts bombarding it.

"HOLLLLYYY! You're here! Isn't this sooo cool." Shevron was grinning like a loon, her face flushed. Probably due to the drink in her hand. She launched herself at me, her curly blonde hair bouncing as she jumped around.

"Hey." I smiled as she released me.

Then she spotted Edward.

"OOOOOOOHHHH! You've brought a frriiieennnd!" She twirled from me and latched onto Edward.

"Jesus! You're FREEZING!"

"Sorry, it's very cold outside." Edward's crooked smile caused Shevron to become a little dazed. She eventually let go and moved back to me. She looked him over with appreciative eyes.

"He's very sexy, I might have to jump him later," she stage whispered and winked whilst she wobbled a little in her heels.

Her outfit was pure Shevron, a bright red dress with purple shoes and multi-coloured jewellery. She loved colour, I don't think I'd ever seen her wear black.

The door opened behind us and she bounced off to greet the newcomer.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the girls." Butterflies flew through me at the prospect of Edward actually meeting my friends. I just hoped they didn't recognise him too much, that would be an awkward one to cover up.

I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back as we walked towards the kitchen, I could see my girls standing at the counter dishing out their drinks.

"I'll have a cosmopolitan girls!" They all turned and leapt at me, arms wrapping round me till I doubt any of my body could be seen.

"Now the party can start!" Beth was bopping around as she talked. I saw Rianna glance behind me.

"Oh yeah girls this is Edward. Edward this is Rianna, Sara, Beth, Jemma and you've met Shevron already. They're my closest friends and the best partier's on the planet." I pointed each one out and watched as they're expressions changed to match. Each one gazed at Edward in a look of being completely dazzled.

I knew what they were seeing. The beautifully bizarre, bronze, bed hair that made the nerve endings in your fingers tingle, just to run them through it. The hypnotic eyes that made your breathing speed up and your heart pound. The strong broad shoulders that brought images of tight embraces. His long lean figure of a greek god, and to top it all off, that crooked smile that makes your legs turn to jelly.

When I really thought about it, how did I spend some much time with him without passing out?

_Maybe I've become immune..._

_Dear God, what if I've been single so long I'm becoming asexual?_

"It's nice to meet all of you, Holly has told me a lot about you." He finished with his crooked smile and I swear I heard Jemma sigh.

Rianna had a look of determination in her eye, she'd found her target of the night and once she locked on she was like a Rottweiler to shake off.

"It's very nice to meet you, Edward," she purred as she slinked past him running her hands along his perfectly sculpted chest. She looked him in the eyes as she glanced over her shoulder. Her low cut black dress clinging to her perfectly formed petite body. She barely reached Edward's shoulder, but she wasn't going to let that get in her way.

Edward's eyes widened a little, if he were a normal guy that move would have floored him, and he'd be putty in her hands all night.

_She can be a little aggressive when she sees something she wants_

Edward chuckled and turned to the rest of my friends. He obviously knew they would have questions, I cringed waiting for them to start.

"So... You're just friends?" Sara gave me a mischievous smile.

And so it begins.

* * *

The party was in full swing. Me and Edward had been there for about three hours. I'd introduced him to all my friends and laughed as they all gawped at him before finding some kind of words to stutter to him. The majority of the girls seemed oblivious to his likeness to the Edward character in the book. However a few commented on how similar he was. Edward just pretended to have no idea who they were talking about. No one asked where he lived or what his last name was which was lucky since I had no idea how I would have replied, although I was sure Edward would handle it perfectly.

I had felt bad at first going to dance with my girls, I didn't want Edward to feel abandoned or ditched, but I needn't have worried. He soon joined in chatting to the guys about sports or music. Bands he liked that I had gotten him to listen to. At one point I even saw him playing cards with a bunch of lads. I had gone over to see what they were playing. It was poker.

I bent over to whisper in Edward's ear, not wanting the others to hear.

"I hope you're not using your ability too much. We wouldn't want to be unfair now, would we?" He simply grinned at my comment and I left him to it. He later returned with a new watch and a black trilby hat. It suited him, a little too much.

I had managed to avoid Jack all night, but as I made my way to the dance room, drink in hand. He cornered me.

"Save a kiss at midnight?" His alcohol soaked breath repulsed me, and his face was too close for comfort as he whispered in my ear.

"I wouldn't count on it," I said back before slinked out from underneath him and returning to the safety of the dance floor. I looked back to see him glaring whilst he ran his hand through his dirty blond hair. He sent shivers down my spine, and not the good kind.

I loved to dance, to let loose and let go of your inhibitions. I had tried to drag Edward with me at one point in the night but vampire strength made it impossible. He instead sat with many of the other boys as they sat on the sofas talking and stealing glances of the girls dancing. I could see him watching me sometimes, smiling as I danced with Jemma and Beth. We were doing our crazy disco dancing and applauding as Beth attempted to do a rather drunk version of the moonwalk.

I also saw him when a girl in a tight gold dress and long golden tanned legs walked over to him, placing herself in his lap and draping her arm up to play with his hair. She was gorgeous with blonde hair that flowed in large but fake angel curls down her barely covered chest.

Edward just sat there, tense and stiff. Angered flared in me, what did she think she was doing? Couldn't she see he wasn't interested? As I watched her push her breasts against his chest, leaning in to whisper something to him, my anger built.

_That SLUT!_

_What the hell is she doing?_

_He's not meant for you, you tramp!_

As if this girl, wrapped in what seemed to be gold spray on fabric, could compare to Bella.

I wondered if she realised what a fool she was making of herself.

I stopped dancing and walked to stand in front of Edward. His eyes caught mine.

I leant down and tapped on the girls exposed thigh.

"Excuse me... You're in my seat." I glared at her, hate burning through my eyes.

"What do you mean? I'm a bit busy here with Edward," She sneered at me but purred his name.

"Honey, I think you've gotten busy with half the guys at this party, and like I said you're in my seat. So beat it!"

She sat shocked but awkwardly shifted out of her place on Edward's lap and scuttled out the room as people stared. Laughter followed and I grinned looking at Edward's face. His shock melted into a devilish smirk, and before I knew it he had pulled me down towards him.

I crashed onto the sofa, my legs draped over his lap as my back rested against the arm of the sofa.

"A little jealous were we?" He was staring deep into my eyes and his voice was like melted butter as he whispered near my ear. Amusement was thick on his tongue.

"Not jealous, just looking after your virtue. I'd hate you to be taken advantage off. Such an innocent boy as yourself." I smiled sweetly and he chuckled.

"Well then I guess I should thank you for your valiant rescue."

I sat with him talking and some of the other guys till one of them wanted to show Edward the piano next door. I waved him off and went back to dancing the night away.

It was soon close to midnight and I started to feel uneasy as I saw Jack enter the room, watching me from his position near the door. I wouldn't be able to leave the room without walking past him. What made me feel worse was that Edward was next door where some people were listening to him play a few pieces on the dusty piano that sat in the room.

Two minutes to midnight and someone turned the music down and the TV up. The countdown would start soon and it seemed I would be trapped by Jack.

_Edward._

I tried to focus my mind to reach out to him but the room was buzzing with noise and I couldn't get my mind to stay clear of the endless chatter. I didn't even know if he could hear me with all the other thoughts that must be battling for attention in his head.

The countdown started, I joined in half hearted as I saw jack moving slightly towards me. His nearly black eyes hungry for the seconds to pass quicker.

10

9

People were shuffling slightly, the boys searching out the girls they wanted to start the New Year with.

8

7

Jack was a few steps away now, His lust filled eyes locked on me as I stood separated slightly from the others. Rianna was wrapped around her Edward substitute, while Jemma and Beth had decided they didn't need a man to start the New Year and so stood giggling and singing dirty Christmas songs.

6

5

Jack seemed to stumble as someone pushed past him.

Edward stood in front of me, a smile of his face

4

Edward's hands trailed softly up my arms, as I looked at him questioningly.

"3...2...1" he whispered before he gently brought my face towards his, his hands cupping my cheeks.

We were so close to each other, my eyes swam in his.

I let out a shaky breath as he leaned forward ever so slightly. Our lips were a centimetre apart. Electricity seemed to spark between us.

_BELLA, BELLA, BELLA, He's with Bella. He's meant to be with Bella._

I knew Edward would hear me even if it wasn't directed at him.

Edward closed his eyes sighing, and I felt a small breath tickle against my lips making them tingle.

_**BELLA, BELLA, BELLA**_

My mind was screaming. I could hear people cheering around us as the New Year chimes rung out. Edward took one last movement tilting my face and placed a light gentle kiss to the tip of my nose.

"Happy New Year," he murmured and the slight mint of his breath was almost detectable on my tongue.

My body washed with a mix of relief and disappointment. I knew it didn't belong there but for some reason it was.

I opened my eyes as I felt Edward pull away and drop his hands.

"What was that for?" My voice had no strength to it; I was still dizzy from the scent of him.

"I was saving my damsel in distress," he replied as he looked toward Jack, who was glaring daggers at both of us. A rumble built in Edward's chest as he met Jack's glare with his own. I placed a hand against his shoulder to warn him.

Jack wasn't the only one who was angry; a few girls looked as if they wanted to murder me with their stiletto heels.

* * *

The party continued for a few hours, but soon people started leave or found a quiet place to spend the night.

Shevron had disappeared upstairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom whilst Rianna, Beth, and Jemma had all left for their beds at home. Sara and Josh were curled up on the sofa opposite me and Edward as we sat and listened to the soft tunes of a guitar being played by some boy none of us knew.

It was 4 a.m, it seemed me and Edward we're the only one's still awake. Sometimes a person would stumble out the front door to head home in the icy morning air. I didn't fancy it so we had found a big squishy sofa to ourselves. The house was quiet except for the soft snores coming from various rooms. Before we had found our sofa, we had wandered through the house looking for somewhere to spend the night. People were lying anywhere with a flat surface, sprawled out on the floors with their heads resting on strangers. One girl was even asleep sitting up in a kitchen chair. It had definitely been a good night, it was written all over their sleeping faces. Lazy smiles as they dreamed about the highlight of the social year.

Although I was fuzzy from lack of sleep the presence of Edward lying next to me kept me awake enough to control my thoughts. I kept them away from his prying mind as the almost kiss from midnight played through my memory.

Edward's cold sturdy arm was wrapped around me to stop me from falling off the edge of the sofa as we lay side by side. My head resting on his shoulder as we stared up at the ceiling.

"So what did you think?" I had been curious to see if he'd actually enjoyed himself or whether it had just been one big horrible ordeal he had to suffer through.

"It was unlike anything I've ever experienced." I couldn't read the tone in his voice.

"Oh right, is that a good or bad thing?"

"Good. I think. It was nice to be around so many humans and not have to worry about the burn in my throat. Even the thoughts were manageable because they were like quiet static in the back of my mind, they didn't overwhelm my mind like I worried they might. I felt almost normal, human. It was interesting, maybe even fun, talking to new people seeing what it's like to be a teenager in this time. It's so different to 1918. Although I have to say I didn't like the way girls were talked about as if they were just a piece of meat. I hated the thought that there would be boys who thought of you in that way." The strength of emotion that glowed out his topaz eyes was entrancing.

A thought struck me. He had seemed relaxed all evening; I knew he was a good liar so I wanted to understand.

"Is it not hard to be away from Bella?" After all in the book she had been like his life force. To be away from her and have her unprotected could drive him to insanity.

"It is hard, it's like there's a part of me that feels a definite pull towards her." It made sense that he would feel this. Just as Bella had obviously had a gut feeling that I wasn't meant to be in Forks. That I didn't belong in her world. Edward would feel the pull towards Bella because he is meant for her, the influence of the story would gradually bring them together as they should be.

"Have you ever been in love Holly?" The question caught me off guard.

"Well, no. I've never let myself fall for someone. No matter how much I wanted to. I don't trust myself to not get hurt. To be in love and still be aware of what's happening around you is a tricky thing to do. Why take the risk? Very few boys my age dream of love, they live in a world of lust. Where every girl is the same. Love 'em and leave 'em."

It was true. There were very few times I'd seen a boy that really loved a girl. Other than Sara and Josh.

"But I thought you were an adrenaline junkie. Taking risks gives you a buzz" He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. They still held a troubled emotion I couldn't quite place. Was he sad that he was in love whilst I was too afraid to take that chance?

"I can risk my body for the thrill, but I would never risk my heart, or who I am. It's too important to me." I was a coward, I didn't deny it. The idea of putting myself out on the line terrified me more than extreme sport. The fear of rejection crippled me into lying to myself, pretending that I didn't like the guy that much, or that he wasn't really that into me.

I took one last blurry look at Edward trying to see his reaction to my words. I assumed he'd not understand or be disappointed in me for being such a coward. I couldn't see his face clearly to try and read his expression.

My eyes ached for sleep, and eventually my mind gave up fighting it.

I just hoped I didn't drool on his shirt.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"OK spill! We want all the dirty details," Beth stated as they all stared at me.

We were sat in my living room after watching a cheesy chick flick. We hadn't talked about the party that happened a week ago.

Today was the first time we managed to all get together, Rianna had been busy with her new boy toy and Shevron had been trying to recover the house from the party. Although her parents knew it was happening, I don't think they had quite realised the state it would end up in.

So I had had a week to come up with some kind of story about Edward. Given my awful ability to lie, I doubted a week was going to be long enough.

"Come on, Holly! You can't bring a boy like that and not expect to be drilled later." Jemma had a point, it had been accepted in our group that if any of us introduced a boy we must then accept all questions later.

When Sara first met Josh the questions had lasted the majority of 3 hours.

"Well I can't just spill if I don't know what you want to know." At least this way I could avoid telling them something they hadn't thought to ask about.

"Me first, me first! Where did you meet him?" Shevron gushed. Her bright orange top making her face almost glow.

"That's simple; I already told you he's the brother of my friend Alice. The girl I stayed with that month a few weeks ago"

"That's not what you told us last time, you said you met him first, that he then introduced you to Alice." Rianna was on high alert she'd picked up on my stumble already, it was impossible to get anything past her.

"Oh yeah erm, well I was just in that really good music shop in town and he was there as well, we just got talking over a CD." Lie, absolute lie - although we did talk about music a lot.

"How old is he?" Jemma asked.

"17."

"He acts older than that; I would have thought he was at least 19. Where does he live?" Rianna was sceptical already.

These questions were simple; I knew they soon start with the ones that really interested them.

"His family live out in Jesmond. They got this huge house. It's stunning and has woodland surrounding it with a river running alongside. I think it's called Dipwood house or something." Another lie. I had looked into this a little more. Jesmond was the posh end of town but not too far away for it to be weird for the Cullens to visit so much.

"Didn't you say he's got brothers and sisters? Are they all adopted? What're they called?" Trust Sara to focus on his family, especially the fact he's adopted. This question made me a little uneasy. All my friends loved twilight, but would they put together the pieces. I had to do something.

"Yeah they're all adopted. There's James and Elliot his brothers and then Rachel and Alice his sisters. His mum and dad Carlisle and Emily adopted them all, even though they're pretty young. Must only be like 30 tops." I hoped the change of names would help. It's not like they would ever meet them.

"OK enough background stuff, how did you get him to come with you?" I flinched a little at Rianna's words. She sounded a little jealous that a guy like Edward would want to come with someone like me and yet avoid her all night.

"His family were going to visit some friends, and he had nothing better to do." I figured this would appease Rianna, ease her wounded ego. Plus maybe it would convince them I hadn't invited him as a date.

"Is he seeing anyone?" Jemma piped in, a little hopeful.

"Kind of, there's this girl that's perfect for him but I think he's just taking it slow. Getting to know her. There's no doubt they'll end up together." I smiled at the image of Bella and Edward. He would probably be with her now. Holding her close, telling her he missed her.

"Do you like him?" Sara's voice was quiet, and the question made me blush for a reason I didn't understand. Was it because the idea of me and Edward seemed so unbelievable that it seemed silly to even answer?

"Yeah I like him, as a friend. A really good friend that's all."

"Does he know that?" It was Sara again.

"Well I would hope so; otherwise he's got to be a little confused as to why we spend time together."

"I didn't mean did he know you're good friends, I meant does he know that's as far as you take it?" Sara persisted

"Well there's never been a reason to talk about it; it's so silly to even think he doesn't know. He's so obviously meant to be with this girl there's no way any other girl could cross his mind."

"If you're sure, he just seemed very comfortable with you if you know what I mean." Rianna wiggled her eyebrows.

"That's just Edward, it's nothing sexual, we're just close. Promise, I'm not going to go running off and fall in love with some guy without telling you."They seemed to relax at what I'd said, knowing that they would be told when I finally say the big L word.

I wasn't sure if I would ever say it, but I was certain it wouldn't be to Edward.

"OK, sure whatever. Tell us about that kiss." Beth grinned; I had forgotten they were standing near me at the stroke of midnight. They'd seen the whole thing.

"Well it wasn't even a kiss. You know that. He was just getting rid of Jack." I shivered at the memory, Jack's face was murderous.

"Oh yeah sure. I saw the look on his face, that wasn't just for Jack's benefit. He was right there and you didn't do anything about it."

"Trust me it was solely to get rid of Jack. Plus why would I kiss Edward and mess up everything between us. He wouldn't want it and then it would just be awkward. Remember it's not me he wants, it's that other girl." The girls still seemed sceptical. I mean, was I missing something? I thought it was obvious what kind of relationship me and Edward had. Sure sometimes he made me feel all fluttery but that's just him, it's hard to ignore that side of him. It's just part of his vampire nature, that allure, so me reacting to it is just a natural response.

Me and Edward were strictly friends.

So why was there a part of me that said: _keep telling yourself that._

The girls obviously saw me becoming uncomfortable.

"So speaking of Jack, I bet he was pissed. You heard anything from him? Did he have a go at Edward?" As soon as Shevron asked me I reached for my mobile. It would show perfectly what Jack thought of me, and it wasn't nice.

I flicked to the first text and handed my phone round the group.

"Woah! That's not right, how can he say something like that? Is he sick in the head of summit?"

"You've got to tell someone about this, he sounds like he's going to really hurt you!"

Their worries were far from over. That was just the first text, there had been several more along with voicemail messages. All filled with threats, insults, and sick fantasies. He must have known I would share it with them, but he probably also knew that I would ignore their advice. I wouldn't tell anyone I was never one for a fight. Maybe if I ignored him, stayed out of his way, things would die down. He would forget and move on to some other poor girl. Either that or get arrested.

After all the most my parents could do would be to tell the police and even then they could only give him a warning. They couldn't stop him. It's not like he had hurt me in any way.

He was just a silly little boy that thought throwing tantrums and making threats would get him what he wanted.

I wasn't going to let him bend me to his will.

"Look it's fine, I'm getting a new number soon so he won't be able to contact me anymore. It's not like I'll make the same mistake as last time and give it to him."

I remembered when I thought he was worth my time and gave him my number. We'd been talking for a while, through Facebook and MSN. He seemed different to how everyone described him. He seemed nice. So we hung out every now and then and the nice behaviour lasted for a couple of weeks. Then it changed, gradually he would apply the pressure to move things forward. When I didn't want to he'd suggest hanging out at his place and try it on again. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Someone who I had thought of as a friend.

One night we were all out as a group having a few drinks. It was a Sunday night at the pub so I had no intention of drinking heavily. I had 2 drinks before stopping and going for orange juice instead.

As the night continued I felt funny. Not quite drunk but definitely not as coherent as I usually was after just two drinks.

Jack had stopped pestering me for that night so I sat feeling comfortable in his presence.

He went to the bar a few times buying the drinks, bringing me one each round. I was happy to accept them, glad to see that we could just be friends.

An hour or two into the night and my vision was blurred, my mind was slow and my words tangled together. I was plastered but had no reason to be.

I could remember Rianna taking my drink off me and sipping it. It wasn't the orange juice I'd asked Jack to get. It was instead double vodka orange. Each drink he had bought me had been laced with alcohol.

After that Rianna called him every swear word under the sun and refused to let him walk me home. God knows what would have happened if he did.

He left me alone for a couple of weeks after that, but it all started again around the same time I first met Edward. The event at New Years pushed him from annoyingly persistent flirting to vicious bitterness.

I came back to present day, the girls were ordering pizza. Nothing like greasy goodness to complete a girlie night in.

* * *

"You took your time," I said, I felt like I had been waiting my whole life for this moment.

I looked in the mirror, taking in my reflection. Edward was behind me my necklace his hands. His face held his crooked smile, but his eyes fixed on mine - passion smouldering beneath their surface. Nervous anticipation flooded through me, my eyes sparkled and my skin tingled.

I watched him as he slowly brought the necklace to rest upon my skin, his fingers trailed along my collar bone.

He fastened the necklace and placed a slow gentle kiss on the back of my neck, following the edge of my hairline round to behind my ear.

"Perfect," he purred and it sent a shiver running across my skin.

My body thrilled at his kisses. I could feel lightning bolts shocking through me hitting the pit of my stomach.

His hands glided down my arms, tracing patterns with his finger tips on the inside of my elbow. He continued his mouth down to the nape of my neck, where he placed soft wet kisses.

His tongue tasting my skin.

I could smell him all around me, his scent saturating the air I breathed.

His touch was all I could think about.

His cold, ashen skin was all I could feel, stoking the fire that smouldered within me.

I sighed as he licked the length of my neck.

He spun me to face him, pulling me towards him with his hand on the small of my back as his strong arms wrapped me up holding me tight to him.

He attacked my neck again as I ran my hands up his strong back.

Frustrated by the presence of his shirt, I wanted to run my hands across his broad marble shoulders.

My fingernails combed through his hair, running light scratches across his scalp.

A rumble vibrated through his chest at the sensation and I pressed myself closer to him, revelling in the feeling soaking through my heated skin.

A moan escaped my lips as he skimmed his nose from my cleavage up along my throat. His lips hovered millimetres from my own.

I ached to feel his lips on mine, to run my tongue along his lower lip.

"Holly." His lips brushed mine as he whispered my name, his husky voice teasing my ears.

"Holly," he repeated, but the husky tone was gone, something was different.

I felt the scene in front of me fading, I fought to keep him with me but eventually darkness was all that was left.

"Holly, wake up." My eyes snapped open. Ash stood in front of me tapping her foot impatiently.

"You're supposed to help me carry my textiles project to school. It's 8.15 so you've got 15 minutes to get your ass out of bed and get ready." She pulled back my curtains piercing my dark room with white light.

"And try and look half decent, I've got a reputation to keep up at school. And you turning up looking like a hobo will seriously damage it," she called as she made her way downstairs.

My brain hurt. What the hell was going on with me? The dream seemed so real.

I felt flustered and ashamed, but mostly I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

It was just a dream, no big deal. There's no point trying to find hidden meanings. It was obviously just triggered by my conversation with the girls.

In twenty minutes time I was trudging to school with Ashleigh. She skipped ahead carrying nothing but her tiny school bag. Whilst I walked behind with three bags full of fabric and beads.

"Ashleigh! I agreed to help, not carry the whole lot!"

"Well I can't walk into school looking like some bag lady I've got a..."

"Reputation, yeah, yeah whatever. What about my reputation? How will I keep up my reputation of being your cool big sister?" As if I actually had one, her friends barely noticed me.

"Oh, Holly, you're so delusional sometimes." She smiled and danced off in front of me, skipping towards her friends at the school gates. She was just as close with them as I was with my girls, but she wasn't half as good at keeping a secret.

In that moment I was proud that she had proven me wrong and managed to keep our friendship with the Cullens a secret.

I mean just think what that could do to her reputation, the girl who could introduce you to the real live Cullens. She could get you to talk to Edward Cullen. She'd be mobbed by teenage girls all just desperate for a glimpse.

I huffed, it wasn't worth thinking about. She had made it this far so there was no reason to doubt her. I continued to follow her taking in the crisp winter air as frost crunched under my shoes.

When I had finally ditched Ash and her load, I started the walk home but instead turned towards the park.

I felt like sitting on the swings and flying through air. Just closing my eyes and imagine myself soaring through the clouds to wherever I wanted.

As I made my way towards the park my mind drifted back to the dream from this morning.

It was going to be embarrassing when I next see Edward, I can imagine now the awkward moments as the dream flashed through my mind.

No way was anyone finding out.

Especially not Edward, that meant I would have to keep my mind locked up tight. I just wish I knew exactly how to do that. I'd managed to muffle my thoughts so they couldn't be read but images would still be crystal clear. I could just avoid touching him, without skin to skin contact he wouldn't get a peep.

_Just a silly dream, doesn't mean a thing._

_Edward's your friend. Nothing more_

I finally reached the swings and sat down on the cold rubber seat.

Pushing my legs off the ground to get myself moving.

_I wonder what he's doing now?_

Why was I thinking about him?

I'd only seen him a few days ago.

_Yep, and what happened then? You almost kissed._

Bad brain.

I huffed and soared higher, rocking my whole body into the swing.

"Be careful, it would be a shame if you fell." Jack strolled towards me; his voice hinted that it wouldn't be a shame at all.

I stayed silent, but slowed my swing so I could get off if I needed to. He continued to come closer. His dirty blonde hair was cut close to his skull and his dark eyes stared at me.

"Not very talkative are we? You could at least talk to me after ignoring my texts." His voice was calm and deadly

"I've been busy." My voice sounded flat. I didn't want to make him angry but I couldn't find it in me to inject any apology into my voice.

"Ah yes, you're someone's new toy. I hope you're keeping him satisfied. What's your arrangement? Does he pay you per visit? Do your parents know what a dirty little whore you are?" His face twisted into a vicious sneer.

Red flashed in my mind. Anger built in me, not only for the insult he'd given me but also the way he'd implicated Edward. I was riled that he had brought Edward to the same level as himself.

I stood from my swing but said nothing. I stared into his eyes before turning to leave him standing in the deserted park.

I had just reached the gate when I felt his hand clamped around my wrist, he twisted my arm pulling me round towards him.

His grip hurt me, but I refused to show any weakness.

"You'll regret your decision to deny me what I want, Holly. Trust me on that." He spat the words out with such venom that fear replaced the anger in me. But only momentarily, he wasn't worth my fear.

I yanked my wrist from him and swiftly walked from the park. Once out of his sight I ran. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me run from him, but I wasn't a fool. I had gotten quite good at reading people; I attributed that on spending too much time with Edward. And what I saw in Jacks eyes was cold and calculating.

When I finally made it home I put ice on my wrist. He had twisted it, and I could clearly make out the finger shaped bruises and swelling building under the surface. I would have to keep it covered; I didn't want all the questions that it would cause.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Christmas holidays ended and with it my social life.

Everyone returned to university, and I was left to find some way of entertaining myself on a day to day basis.

This wasn't what I had expected when I decided to take a gap year. My plan was to spend half the year working and the other half travelling around the world. Unfortunately the travelling part of it fell through when Shevron got accepted to her art course last minute. My parents wouldn't let me go alone, so that left me with no job, no plans and £3000 sitting in my bank doing nothing.

I'm not complaining about having the money, it just seemed that I'd taken a year out of my academic life to do nothing. It irritated me to waste time.

It was in this state of boredom and apathy that Alice pulled me from my bed on a dreary day in February.

"No Alice! Please, I like sleep. You might not need it, but I do. Alice, stop it!" She had bundled me up in my bed covers so I was nothing but a white blob with a head.

"Holly, you've been in that bed for nearly two days now. You're dirty, and you cannot survive on coffee and crackers for any longer." She was way too perky for my taste. I wanted to wallow in my world of wasted dreams and missing friends.

I continued to grumble as she shot up the stairs and tipped me into the bathroom.

I'll admit that the shower looked tempting, the multi-directional jets beckoned me, and soon I found myself stripped off and drenching my body with gorgeous hot water. I suppressed the sigh that was threatening to escape from my smiling lips.

I washed my hair with some fancy shampoo and towelled myself off, stepping into Alice's room feeling like a whole new person dressed in a bathrobe that was like a white fluffy hug.

It had been routine for me to see the Cullens about twice a week, sometimes I'd go willingly other times were like this, Alice or Rosalie dragging me out of bed. The boys never attempted it; apparently my bed was full of girl cooties so they preferred to stay away from it.

Although I spent most of my visits at the Cullens house, there were odd times we would spend time on my side. Jasper especially liked this. He didn't feel like the weak link, constantly having to fight his thirst.

My side offered its own problems, it was busier. There weren't any big forests or hidden fields for the Cullens to be themselves. They constantly had to keep up their human fronts and I could tell it frustrated them even if they didn't show it. Except Emmett, who constantly pushed the limits. I chuckled at the time he had used a little more strength necessary to push the merry go around. I ended up clinging to it for dear life as the gravitational pull threatened to send me flying. Edward's face had been priceless when I came stumbling over with Emmett laughing at the way my legs wobbled.

As I had sat thinking about all this Alice had been searching through what had now become my second closet.

"So how are things with you?" Her voice was music in my ears.

"Things are exactly the same as they were three days ago when I last saw you. All my other friends are gone, Ash is at school, the parents are at work, there's nothing but boring talk shows on TV and to top it all off Jack is still annoying the crap out of me! I mean it's been two months and he still won't drop New Year's!" I ranted trying to let off the steam that was building in me. I subconsciously rubbed my wrist, the swelling went down eventually along with the bruising, but it was still wasn't right.

Jack had been getting progressively worse with his pestering. It flipped constantly from snide jokes to outright hatred and anger. He took 'a lover scorned' to a whole new level and he wasn't even my 'lover' in the first place. He was just some creep who saw me as some shiny new toy to play with. I had caught him following me round town now and then as I shopped or walked about. Then a few days ago he walked past my house as I watched him out the top window.

"Have you mentioned it to Edward, I know he was worried when you both left the morning after the party. He'd want to know what's been happening." I knew Alice was right, I also knew it was silly to keep the Jack situation from Edward. But in reality I didn't see the point in telling him, nothing serious had happened. I could handle it.

"He can't be running round fixing my problems, he's got Bella to think about. How are they anyway? It's like getting blood out of a stone when I try to get details from him." I smirked when I realised 'blood out of a stone' was a fairly apt way to describe the situation, even though I could never think of Edward as just living stone. How could you think someone cold and heartless when there was so much life and love shining in their eyes?

Anyway, it was true that Edward's lack of Bella talk frustrated me to know end. I was his best friend and he wouldn't spill the beans. I didn't even know if he'd taken her to the meadow, or if the incident at Port Angeles had ever happened. I'd heard off Alice that homecoming had been and gone so I could only assume that Bella hadn't been attacked.

Just typical, Bella Swan the danger magnet has no problems but I get stuck with some deranged stalker with a crew cut and almost get hit by a truck. Deeply unfair but at least she was safe.

"She still doesn't know about us. And I haven't seen that she will anytime soon. I mean he spends every night in her room, walks her to her classes, sits with her at lunch. But other than that I can't tell you what is going on. Jasper says there's something there but Bella's strong emotions make it hard for him to properly feel Edwards. She seems to drown him out."

There was a small silence as I took in her words. Edward felt something for Bella. At the New Year's party he said there was a definite pull. Something tying them together. It had to be love, they were Bella and Edward. I placed his hesitance down to lack of understanding. He was just discovering the man in him, that he was capable of loving someone. That's got to be a lot to deal with.

That was the reason, he was just being cautious. Classic Edward, making sure things weren't rushed. But Christ, if this was him taking it slow I could understand why Bella was set to jump him every given chance. This pace would make a snail look like a raving speed freak.

"So have you seen Edward recently?" Alice's question had more meaning behind it than it first seemed.

"No, last I heard of him was a couple of days ago when the boys left for their hunting trip." Emmett had heard about a Grizzly problem up near Canada so they had gone to fix it, the way only vampires could.

"And he didn't say anything important or unusual?" Now I was puzzled.

"No, we just talked about stuff nothing in particular, why?"

"Arg! Honestly that boy can be so infuriating. I asked him to do one tiny thing and he just ignores me. The high school is having a Valentine dance this Friday, we weren't planning on going but then I saw this dress..."

"God, Alice, you have to be kidding me. You can't drag the whole family to some dance just so you can wear a dress. That may I point out you probably don't need! Plus how does that involve me?"

"If you had let me finish the dress isn't for me, it's for you. It's perfect!" She pulled me over to her computer and flicked around until the screen showed a dress that practically made me drool. It was amazing. It was elegant and demure and unlike any other dress I owned. Or should I say, could afford to own.

It was pearl grey satin silk with a simple but soft scooped neckline that would show just a hint of cleavage (a hard thing to do considering my curves). The halter neck tied with ribbons that seemed to fall like droplets down the low open back, the diamonds on the end making them look like water glistening. The dress fitted in slightly around the waist following the shape of the body and finished just on the knee flaring slightly. I could imagine how it would sway as I walked and swirl out around me as I turned.

"Wow" it was all I could get out. I didn't want to be the reason everyone had to endure the Valentine dance but I really wanted to wear that dress. Even if it was just to walk around the house in. Something I was known to do, I sometimes even wore my KG sex heels to do the vacuuming because they looked so pretty.

"Exactly, I showed it to Edward and he said he would ask you about going. So you see it's not just me who wants to see you in it." Alice's brilliant smile melted any doubts I had. But then I remembered.

"Alice, Edward never actually asked me, soo..." Maybe he had changed his mind, didn't want the hassle of going, or maybe he'd asked Bella and was going with her instead. It would make sense.

"Yeah well screw that now. You've seen it. I can tell you love it. So therefore I'm not waiting for Edward, I'm taking matters into my own hands. Holly will you been my Valentines Dance Date?" She grinned and I nodded laughing.

"Oh but Alice what about Jasper?" I used mock sympathy.

"We'll share him; he can be like our pimp." She stuck her tongue out and we laughed. We both knew Jasper would be thrilled at the idea of walking in with two girls on his arm. He may be a southern gentleman but what guy didn't like to act like a stud now and then.

I watched Alice ordering dresses and suits online as I flicked through one of her many fashion magazines. She must have been wearing off on me because I was starting to be able to the difference between Dior and DG.

Rosalie joined us as we discussed the models outfits and what we thought of the trends. I had been surprised by Rosalie. Although she wasn't as talkative as Alice she didn't avoid me or act uncivil. We seemed to get on. Something that can't be said for her and Bella. The few times she had mentioned her had been quickly followed by insults. Apparently she wasn't as thrilled as some at the prospect of Bella being in their lives, whether she knew their secret or not.

"Why can't you be Bella, I like you. You don't dress like crap and sit mooning over how wonderful Edward is. As if he needs his ego stroked anymore, he already knows all the girls want him. It's disgusting. I can't believe Edward can stand to spend so much time with such a simpering little twit!" It was Bella bashing in Rosalie world. Again.

I'd come to accept insults about Bella, even if I cringed at some of them. It was hard to hear such negative things about someone who had been one of my favourite characters even if the Bella I knew certainly took Edward-gazing to a whole new level. She wasn't quite as I thought she would be from the book but I ignored that and just accepted how she was.

"Rosalie, she's not that bad I'm sure. Just give her a chance. And as for me taking Bella's place, you do not want that to happen. Edward would be miserable and you'd be stuck with me, and with me comes Ash. Do you really want to be her personal Barbie doll for the next 70 years?" I chuckled at that thought. Rosalie tolerated Ashleigh, but I could tell her patience was wearing thin.

"I'm sure I'd prefer that to 70 years with some idiot who can't even form a coherent sentence just because Edward looks at her." I flinched a little. I still hadn't told the Cullens that Bella would become one of them. Rosalie would hit the roof at the possibility of having to spend eternity with her and I was worried Edward would spook and run. Too scared of risking her soul, although in my eyes no such risk exists.

"Well I think she's fine. She seems kind, sure her fashion sense could be improved but that can easily be fixed. It'll be fun having another human in the family." Alice had bounced off the bed and disappeared into the jungle of clothes she called her closet.

"What do you mean another human, are you hiding one in the basement?" Rosalie smiled at my silly comment.

"Of course not, dear, surely you must know we consider you and your little sister as family. And your parents are wonderful people." Esme had stuck her head round the door. My heart was glowing at what she had said. It was true that I felt completely at home with the Cullens, they felt like family. They could never replace my own family, but they made a nice extension to it.

"That reminds me, could you let your parents know that me and Carlisle will see them tomorrow for salsa." With that Esme left to continue her cleaning, although the house was spotless.

Esme and Carlisle had become good friend with my parents, this meant that mum and dad had gradually worn them down about joining them for their weekly salsa class. It was always the same whenever they met someone knew. I think half the class was filled with their friends. I couldn't wait to hear their comments on Carlisle and Esme's dancing, no doubt they'll look as graceful as ever twisting and turning round the floor whilst my mum stands on my dad's feet and tries to lead.

"I'm going to head off; thanks for dragging me out of bed Alice. Again. I promise to be clean next time you see me which I'm guessing will be Friday. Bye Rosalie, try not to kill Bella whilst I'm gone"

"Bye Holls, I'm sorry but I can't promise anything." Rosalie smiled but her eyes sent chills down my spine. If I didn't trust Rosalie completely I would have really feared for Bella's life.

"Don't forget your Holly bracelet and your pendant on Friday. They'll go perfect with the dress!" Alice called after me as I descended the stairs and stepped through the old antique mirror.

* * *

Tomorrow would be the day of the valentine dance. I was eager to have something to break up the monotony of the past few days. It had only been a few days since seeing Alice and Rosalie but I missed the company. My family was busy with work and school and I had ran out of things to distract myself with.

I'd tried music, sport, reading, and writing. I had yet to try drawing and art but as I reached for my sketch book I felt flat. I didn't feel inspired to draw anything. Boredom was dulling my senses and my imagination. I could lift myself from it, and I couldn't find a reason for it. I flicked through the worn pages of my old sketch book. My face lit with vibrancy and fun as I thumbed through the pages of what acted as a visual diary. It documented the time I'd known the Cullens. From the first scrawled out pictures due to my tiredness of Edwards rude awakening to the day trips with Edward that followed.

Then the month I'd spent with them, the emotions growing in each picture as the days past. Portraits and landscapes, doodles and song lyrics. One caught my eye in particular; I had drawn an image of two people flying, an angel clutching a human to his chest as they soared through the sky.

Another was of Edward standing with the backdrop of Newcastle behind him. The five bridges were lit up and the reflections of the lights bounced off the dark water of the river Tyne. He wasn't facing me but the faint glow of his skin was visible in the picture. I had drawn it after our day out wandering round town, popping into odd little shops I didn't know existed and ending up in a small jazz club that was set up in the basement of the old bank. The night had drawn to an end as we walked along the quayside, it was then that Edward had finally confessed to watching Bella sleep, and the fascination it held for him.

As I finished looking at all the pictures I went to my new sketch book. The one Carlisle and Esme had given me at Christmas. It wasn't quite full but it also was filled with sketches and detailed drawings. My eyes forced my brain to see that the majority of these sketches were of Edward.

Sitting at his piano as the soft daytime light flooded the room.

Standing on the edge of the cliffs at a beach near my home, wind playing with his hair.

His smile looking out at me.

His eyes just after running.

I shifted uncomfortably at what was in front of me. The sketches showed something that my mind didn't want to acknowledge.

I refused to admit it to myself.

Before the thought could bubble to the surface I forced it down.

I couldn't deal with it now, I didn't want to. No good could come of it.

_Bella and Edward_

_Edward and Bella_

_Forever_

_Eternity_

_Together_

That night I tossed and turned. Dreams stretched my emotions and amplified them, feelings I hadn't allowed myself to feel.

Jealousy.

Envy.

Loneliness.

Longing.

All these raged through my body as images of Bella and Edward made my heart ache.

When I finally woke up my pillow was stained with tears. But I ignored them. I was excited about the Valentine dance.

_To see Edward._

A voice hissed from the recesses of my mind.

My head hurt from the turmoil that churned my mind to mush. The lack of sleep didn't help.

I sighed as the cool mist flowed over my body.

"Yikes you OK there darling, you feel messed up." Jasper had been in the living room when I entered their world and he soon flashed to my side when I turned to him with tired eyes.

I took a deep breath. I would not let myself be a zombie. My emotions cleared, Jasper relaxed in front of me.

"That's my girl, if you want to talk about what's got you all snarled up. I'm here." He gave me a reassuring rub on my arm, and I ran upstairs. I knew Jasper had erased my problematic emotions and replaced them with this excitement, but I didn't bother trying to fight it.

It was dress time and I couldn't wait to try it on, but I was thinking Alice would make me shower first.

"Alice! Get your booty in here there's too many bags for me to rummage through." She was there in a flash holding my dress on the hanger.

It was beautiful.

I reached to stroke the silvery fabric.

"Ah ah ah, you're not touching this till you're done in there." She pointed me to the bathroom.

Aromatherapy candles made the bathroom glow in a gentle light and filled it with the soft scent of lilacs and vanilla. The bath was filled with soothing warm water and I felt my muscles relax as I sunk deeper into the bubbles.

I must have spent an hour and a half in that bath; Alice sent instructions through the door. I had a slight issue with people just walking into the bathroom when I was in it. Don't get me wrong love my family and stuff but after a certain age I prefer the door to stay shut.

I read each instruction and followed them accordingly.

Wash your hair. Use this body wash. Exfoliate with this. Dry off and use this body lotion.

I never knew a bath could be so complicated. Whatever happened to get in, get clean, get out?

By the time I actually left the bathroom I felt nothing but bliss. My skin glowed and shimmered thanks to the body lotion.

All I had on was a fluffy towel and I had never felt sexier.

"Can I touch it now?" Alice held the dress out but as I reached for it she twirled it away and plonked me into the vanity chair like some kind of fashion wielding matador.

"I think it would be better if you didn't get to wear it till the whole outfit is together." Her eyes twinkled. She'd never had any intention of letting me dance around in my new dress before she got her hands on me.

"Sneaky vampire," I muttered under my breath but Alice ignored me and started on a pedicure.

I had to beg Alice throughout the day for toilet breaks and food. She seemed to forget humans had needs.

So at various points in my make over I would dash out her room and do what I needed. Emmett got a shock when I ran past him with my hair in rollers and green gunk smeared over my face stuffing a sandwich in my face as Alice hollered from upstairs.

Apart from these little breaks I didn't see anyone else all day (yes it took her all day). With an hour till the dance started Alice was finally doing the finishing touches to my makeup. I tried not to bounce in my seat at the thought of finally wearing my dress.

"OK you're done." Alice took a step back and launched myself out the seat and into the dressing room grabbing my dress, shoes and underwear.

It took me mere minutes to slip the garment over my frame. It fit perfectly caressing my skin as I moved. As I eased my feet into the four inch heels Alice had bought me. They made me feel like Cinderella. Skin coloured fabric hugged my foot as crystals and pearls glinted from their places scattered on the fabric. Like glass slippers.

With shy cautious movements I opened the dressing room door. Alice was a vibrating with excitement. I took a step out and her gasp made me blush. In the time I had been changing she had slipped into a purple structured dress that showed off her petite figure matched with killer black patent heels.

"Holly, you're so beautiful, I could cry! If I actually could." she rushed over placing the full length mirror in front of me (I still couldn't get used to the weird image of tiny Alice hoisting a huge mirror across the room). I had to admit, I agreed with her. She'd kept my makeup light but it highlighted my eyes and lips. My hair was swept up in a messy bun with soft wisps and curls falling around my face. I wasn't used to having my hair up but it shows off the back of the dress perfectly.

"We should probably go see everyone. I think I freaked Emmett out a little earlier. He's probably expecting me to be wearing some kind of ET suit." I attached my holly bracelet to my wrist and placed my violet pendant around my neck, all you could see was the silver chain as it disappeared into my cleavage.

As we descended the stairs my eyes were locked on Edward who was dressed impeccably in a grey suit and white shirt, his black skinny tie stopping it from looking too formal.

_You match him, how cute._ The cynical voice in my mind took great pleasure in that fact.

Before my blush spread across my face I looked towards the others. Emmett was in an all black suit whilst Jasper matched Edward except his main suit was black instead of grey. Rosalie looked breathtaking in a vibrant red body con dress. Her already mile long legs lengthened by black velvet heels.

"You look SMOKING! I might have to steal you off Jasper!" Emmett boomed licking his finger and pretending to touch me, making the same sound water makes when it quickly evaporates. I laughed at his cheesy compliment.

He was quickly shut up by Rosalie smacking him across the head.

Edward cleared his throat. He had been standing on the edge of the group and I had almost forgotten he was there.

Almost but part of me was very aware of his gaze. The cynical part that knew I was hiding how I felt around him.

"I was wondering if Jasper would mind letting me have the pleasure of being Holly's Valentine date tonight. After all it seems unfair he gets to have two of the most beautiful women in the room on his arm all night." His eyes never left mine, the topaz hypnotising me as they danced.

I dipped my head to break the contact but only caught myself looking up at him again to see his eyes still watching me.

"I don't have a problem with that, as long as I get a dance." Jasper gave me a wink.

"Of course." I smiled at Jasper and Edward extended his arm for me link with.

"You look far beyond beautiful tonight Holly. I'm a very lucky man," Edward whispered in my ear as we left the house. My heart ached, I wanted so much to revel in the feelings his words gave me, to give in to the happiness bubbling deep down in me. But that happiness wasn't meant for me. That kind of happiness belonged to Bella.

For the second time today I brushed my feelings away and just enjoyed the moment of being in a beautiful dress, on a beautiful night.

_With a beautiful man._

Damn.

Edward chuckled.

"I'm glad you think so."

**Author's note: You like?**

**xxx **


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Our arrival at the dance was quiet. We slipped through the entrance pretty much unnoticed. I was surprised anyone could ignore the Cullens. How could anyone keep their eyes off them as they moved through the bustling room towards a table at the far corner? Edward hadn't left my side since leaving the house. And I felt like electricity buzzed in the air between us. Had it always been there? Or was my mind playing tricks on me?

Once we were settled at a table I left to get a drink, Edward again at my side smiling.

_What's the smile for?_

I glanced at him as I waited for him to answer.

"Some people are wondering how long you've been visiting, but most are thinking about how absolutely dazzling you look." His fingers lightly brushed against the chain of my necklace. I sucked in a shaky breath at his cool touch on my collar bone.

I tried desperately not to think of the part of the dream when he had done something similar.

"I've missed not seeing you, Holly." He looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes that held a power I had somehow managed to ignore these past months.

I swallowed preparing myself to reply.

"Oh my God! Is that you Holly, you look so pretty! When did you get here?" Jessica had come waddling over with Mike Newton grasped in her hand. Waddle is the only way to describe her movement; her pale pink dress went into a tight pencil shape practically binding her legs at the knees.

"I'm just visiting, figured it would be nice to see an American dance, so here I am. I love the colour of your dress it really suits you." It was true the pale pink suited her hair colour and brought out her eyes.

"Come on, say hi to everyone." Before I could object she had dragged me off to her group. I looked back for Edward but he had vanished.

It seemed some things had been put back to normal when I left Forks High School. Mike was now with Jessica instead of Bella. This meant Jessica wasn't hassling Ben and he seemed happy with Angela. I hadn't seen Bella yet and wondered if maybe she sat it out. She always avoided dancing in Twilight.

The music filled the room and the atmosphere soon livened up. I danced with Jessica's group for a while till Eric started harassing me so I quickly escaped with the excuse of getting a drink. I returned to where the Cullens were last sitting. They all sat in silence, not saying a word; tension seemed to hover around them. Rosalie was glaring at someone near the entrance. As I looked to see who was at the end of the death stare I saw Bella standing in a delicate deep blue dress. The neckline was a simple sweetheart shape and sparkles ran through the bottom of the dress making it shimmer in the light. Her chocolate curls were soft and feminine. She looked radiant.

And because of that I battled with the spike of jealousy.

She shrunk away from Rosalie's glare and joined Angela, smiling at something Ben said.

The lively music that had played the majority of the night changed and a song I hadn't heard in two months filled the room. People exchanged confused looks; they would never have heard of this song. It wasn't in the charts; in fact it probably didn't even exist in this world. I swayed as the first few lines of 'A Drop in the Ocean' by Ron Pope played out. The melodious piano soothing my jealousy letting a smile light my face. I loved this song, but only one person truly knew that.

_A drop in the ocean...A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me might end up together_

"Would you care to dance?" An alabaster hand was extended towards me. I grasped it and walked onto the dance floor with Edward, to dance to the song I had told him was my favourite. Fairy lights dripped from the ceiling making it appear like you were dancing under the stars.

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert ...But I'm holding you closer than most,...  
_

He pulled me close towards him, placing his hand against my waist. I could feel the chill of his skin as it rested on the bare skin of my back.

_...Cause you are my heaven._

He started to sway us in time with the music. I focussed on the lyrics of the song to keep my true thoughts hidden.

_... I don't wanna waste the __weekend._

_...If you don't love me, pretend, a few more hours, then it's time to go_

These hidden thoughts that longed to be in his arms at every moment, the thoughts that wished that what I wanted could be possible not just some pipe dream.

_As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm...  
... It's too late to cry...  
To __**broken**__ to move on_

We whirled and spun. It felt graceful and effortless. A dream come true.

The song started to come to an end, I knew I'd have to let him go soon and so I clutched him a little closer as we swayed gently my head resting on his shoulder.

His smell sent me into a daze, and I couldn't stop the tear that escaped from between my closed eyes and trailed down my cheek. The last few words passed through the air.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no no  
Heaven doesn't seem far away_

I couldn't agree more.

As the last note hung in the air I took one last breath of his scent, revelling in the warmth that flooded through me. That feeling that was the cause of all the jealousy, envy, and want.

Love.

For the first time since I met Edward Cullen I admitted to myself that I loved him. Not the fangirl love, that makes you scream when he appears on screen. Or even the type of love you feel when you mislead it for lust.

I loved him with every fibre of my being.

Every nerve in my body lit up at his touch.

Electricity flew through me at our proximity.

I wanted him more than anything I had ever known.

And I couldn't have him.

That fact caused my heart to fracture.

I felt Edward shift and he released me. I felt like I would fall, my legs were weak under the weight of my pain.

"Thank you," I barely whispered before turning to leave the room.

I didn't turn to see Edward, I couldn't look him in the eyes I didn't want to see worry in them at the tears on my face. I didn't deserve to cry, not really. I knew that he was meant for Bella and yet I allowed myself to get close to him. I allowed myself to unwittingly fall for him.

And now I must force myself not to love him.

I knew it would be the hardest thing I would ever do.

* * *

I sat out on the small terrace I had found outside the building that held the dance. It was quiet; the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my fractured heart, labouring through my sobs.

Lanterns were strung around the top of the terrace illuminating it in a soft glow, it would have been romantic but to me they were just lights. I wouldn't let myself enjoy the romance.

My brain flashed cruel images of Edward holding me on the terrace, leaning his forehead on mine as we smiled. Finally making that last simple movement to touch our lips together.

It had only been a few minutes since I left the hall to come here, but already I felt frozen through. I couldn't bring myself to go in quite yet, not till my emotions were in check. I wouldn't submit Jasper to this; no one should feel like this.

"What's wrong?" His voice sent thrills through me, but I could feel the ache in me.

"Nothing." He was in front of me now. A gentle touch tilted my head up to his eyes, but I couldn't look into his.

He placed his hand on my cheek stroking the salty tracts my tears had left. He placed a soft kiss on cheek over my tears, ridding them from my face.

I reined in my thoughts, sealing myself up to hide the cracks that are working their way across my heart with every minute in his presence.

"Holly, please tell me what's wrong. I care about you so much. I care about us." Love was burning in his eyes. If only it was the right kind of love.

"You shouldn't." It hurt as the words fell from my lips. It was the last thing I wanted.

"What do you mean?" My heart swelled as those words fell from his divine lips. He needed to understand, but I didn't want to hurt him.

That was never what I wanted when I took my first step into this world, I wanted him happy. I didn't want to ever see that darkness in his eyes that I'd seen so many times before he met Bella, the same darkness that was leaking into his golden eyes now.

At the same time I could see that our relationship was affecting everything around us. My presence was like a domino effect. Right now things could still be fixed, but if I stayed everything that happened in the saga could change. I might lose Edward, but I told myself it would be worth it, he'd be happy with Bella. If I stayed it would only hurt everyone.

"Edward, you shouldn't waste your time with me, on this friendship, just because it eases the pain. Not when there's something so much stronger through that door, something that doesn't just ease the pain but clears it completely. Bella will make you feel as if you'd never felt that pain in the first place. That's something I will never be able to do, and I hate that. It tears me up knowing that this friendship could ruin everything for you. You're supposed to be with Bella. That's the story I fell for and now it's lying in tatters around me."

"So this friendship makes you unhappy?" Hurt was written all over his face. I couldn't stop the tears that overflowed from my eyes. He just wiped them away with his usual soft touch. Even though I'd just hurt him, he couldn't watch my tears fall.

"This friendship makes me happy, more than you know. But what it's causing cancels out that happy feeling completely. Edward, this friendship. You and me. It's like shooting the moon. It's fun, it fills time, gives you a buzz and makes you happy for that moment. But when it's over. You haven't gained anything; you've just wasted bullets and time. You don't leave happy knowing you've changed something permanently. I won't stand and watch as you let the best thing in your life slip away just because I'm around. But I will also say I'm selfish enough to want to protect myself. When you and Bella are together, you won't have time for me. I refuse to try and force you to split your time between me and Bella, because I know for a fact that Bella would win." My eyes had run dry.

"I can't lose you." Edward sounded defeated.

"You haven't lost me; I'm just going missing for awhile."

I took one last look towards Edward before I left him to go back into the Valentine dance. Without my Valentine.

I was met by the one girl I hated in that moment.

"Hey, Holly, do you know where Edward is? He said to save him the last dance." Bella was glowing at the prospect of being close to Edward. Hatred burned in me while the guilt ate away at what was left. I had no real reason to hate Bella. I didn't want to hate her. But...

The idea of Edward holding Bella like he had held me left my stomach in knots.

She said Edward asked to dance with her, I guess I had to be happy that he was finally being with Bella.

At least that meant my sacrifice was worth something, Twilight was starting to get back on track. Edward entered through the door and gave me a look that made my fractured heart shatter completely. He headed straight over to Bella. I gave him a weak watery smile as he glanced over her shoulder. After that he didn't watch me anymore.

Just focussed on him and Bella twirling, locked in each other's gaze.

Bella had him lost in her eyes and he would never find his way back. He wouldn't want to.

"Come on darlin', time for our dance." I was falling apart on the inside. Jasper's arms wrapped around me, and I let myself melt into him as he slowly swayed stroking my hair. We stayed like this till the last song ended. He didn't talk or ask me why I felt the things I did. He just took the emotions in silence as they drained out of me replacing them with waves of calm.

"Thank you, Jasper." My voice felt broken.

"Anytime, let's get you home."

* * *

I travelled back with Rosalie in the BMW rather than in the Volvo with the others.

She didn't talk and so left me to sit and stare at the black nothingness that went by the window.

Edward hated me, I was sure of it.

What kind of person was I? Taking my own needs ahead of his. After all the time we'd spent together I had just run because I couldn't have what I wanted.

I'd never considered myself a selfish person, but the more I thought about it, what I had just done was possibly the most selfish act I could have performed. By putting my own feelings, and my own need to protect myself, before Edward's feelings about our friendship, I had taken the small life boat our relationship had given him and left him to either drown or find his own way.

I gave in to that basic survival instinct to protect myself even if it wasn't a physical case of life or death. It was instead something that, to me, seemed so much worse. A case of having to decide between what my heart wanted to the point of me thinking it actually needed it. And then what Edward needed. Not what he wanted.

I discounted what he wanted because it conflicted.

He wanted me to be there with him in his life with Bella, but I couldn't do it because every time I saw them together it would just hurt. She would have what my heart wanted and that pain isn't what I needed.

Edward needed Bella so much more than he felt he needed me.

He'd realise that in time.

I wanted to think that when that time came I could see him again, that I could see him when he's with her and feel nothing but happiness. No sadness would taint it. There would be no part of me that screamed in agony as he touched her.

Right now that sadness overwhelmed the happiness I felt that they were together. That the story I loved was slowly being pieced back together.

It was these thoughts that carried me through the car journey home and the sleepless night after.

* * *

Below my room I could hear the rest of the Cullens. Only faintly, but that meant they must have been arguing otherwise I would have stood no chance of hearing them.

I could make out the muffled voice of Rosalie.

When we had travelled back I could almost feel her anger build with every beat of my broken heart. Like it told her exactly what I was feeling.

It shouldn't have surprised me that heart break struck a chord with Rosalie and I feared for Edward's existence.

He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't really led me on, just been my friend. It was me who took these acts of kindness and twisted them into something more, I forced myself to love Edward Cullen and now I must deal with the consequences.

I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, but I kept my eyes closed anyway.

It had been hours since I heard the argument downstairs the house was now silent.

A soft breeze alerted me to someone entering my room, I concentrated to appear asleep. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

Not yet.

A weight settled at the base of the bed.

"Holly." Edward's broken voice passed through the still air in the room.

I remained silent, if I opened my mouth the whimper I was holding in would escape. He would know I could hear him.

I wasn't sure if that's what he hoped for.

"I wish I could understand what changed. What I had done to make you doubt your importance to me. That you would be unwanted because of Bella." His voice was desperate, it ached to hear it.

"I can't comprehend life without you in it. Without you there with me. My best friend." The last three words were flat.

"But if this hurts you, I can't bring myself to give you pain. I'll miss you, so much more than you'll ever know."

Why couldn't he hate me, call me names, and punish me for deserting him?

_Because __**he's **__not a monster, he'll always blame himself instead of seeing the real reason_

With that the man I loved left, the door softly closing behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I was in chaos. My world was drunk, swirling, twirling, careering towards destruction. Self-destruction.

But I didn't care.

I couldn't bring any part of my mind to the point of screaming for help; instead I just blindly stumbled forward.

It had been a solitary month since Edward closed that door on our relationship, or perhaps it was me who slammed it shut. I couldn't remember, I didn't want to remember if I was honest.

_Because you know it was you who caused this pain. YOU ran scared and YOU fucked up._

Damn mind, damn conscious, damn reasonable thinking.

I didn't want any of it. I wanted this oblivion, this illogical existence of nocturnal living, and self destructive partying.

It was a shock to my family that much I was sure of. Darling sweet Holly was suddenly out of control, destroyed, and messy.

I hadn't started this way of life immediately, instead I had spent the first week crying my eyes dry and living in some silly depression. I even gave up food for a few days, a shocker for me given my lust for all this edible. I think it was the starvation that kick started my current lifestyle.

Like hell was I going to waste away, shrinking smaller and smaller into a worthless existence. I was going to live, big and large and loud.

I was going to be a hurricane.

A fucking awesome hurricane.

That was what I was, and it numbed the pain perfectly.

"Holly. We're sick of this. I don't know what's happened to you but if you think you're going to treat this place like a bloody hotel for the rest of the year, you have another thing coming." Dad was angry, very angry. His face was to the point of looking beetroot and his eyes was searing beneath the icy blue irises.

I would have cowered away from him under that stare, but I just looked up at him blankly. My hands were still planted firmly on each side of the toilet bowl, the contents of tonight's escapades filling the bowl and saturating my sense of smell with the acrid scent.

"Well, I'm so sorry for messing up your perfect life. I must be such a disappointment. But Christ sake, Dad, I'm just being a teenager. Enjoying the wild life," I hissed before another wave of sickness took me. The strain made my eye's water and my brow sweat.

"Jason, stop it." Mum stroked my back as I heaved again, her hands wrapped around my hair to stop it from coating in vomit as my stomach dry heaved.

"No, Sandra, I'm tired of this behaviour. She thinks she can just go out, get paralytic, and then just come home waking up the whole bloody house." I felt my fists clench against the cold, hard, floor.

"It's not like I meant to wake you up. And so what if I go out and get drunk. I'm eighteen so it's none of you business what I do!" I knew I was wrong but my anger was raging. They just complained about how they felt. They never tried to get to the route of the problem; they just knew something was wrong.

Wrong. Was that really what this whole situation was? Was it wrong that Edward was with Bella? Was it wrong that I had chosen to take my alien presence out of Forks?

Surely it couldn't be wrong, just right. It was how it was written, how it was meant to be. So no nothing was wrong. But that didn't mean it felt odd. The change in my life had happened. I had stepped into their world and Edward into mine. That had happened, there was no way if could be taken back. But now I was trying to put it back together again and it felt like my body was rebelling. There wasn't a day that went by when I didn't want to go through the portal and see the Cullens again. Not one day in the thirty that had passed did I sit and feel normal. It was frustrating to have no real control over how I felt. Even on the days when I was determined to forget about the Cullens and the memories we had together, just be happy it didn't work. That's why I went out. That was why I drank too much and revelled in male attention. That's why I lived in constant revelry, to try and escape the black pit I felt I was living in.

I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Mum just sat quietly beside me while Dad had already gone back to bed. I felt bad, obviously, that I had woken them up again. They had school and work tomorrow, but I hadn't thought of that when I charged out the house at seven o'clock this evening. I just knew I had to get out the house and away from the tempting portal.

As I got up to brush my teeth, Mum sat on the edge of the bath. Her hair was slightly messy from sleep, and her eye's had remnants of mascara on their ends, but somehow she still looked so composed.

"Holly, honey, what's the matter?" Her voice was soft and I could see her eyes watching me in the mirror. I tore my gaze from hers to spit in the sink.

"I'm fine," I muttered, drying my face on the wash towel.

"Sweetie, you and I both know that's not true. You've changed recently and I don't know why." She came towards me but I shied away from her hug, wrapping my arms around my diminished waist. I could feel my ribs and it made my stomach roll. I knew my once curvaceous figure was suffering from the constant partying and near bulimic existence.

"I just miss my friends." I looked at my feet, staring at the cuts and blisters I had acquired over the month.

"Holly." Mum sighed and I glanced up to her briefly. Her eyes pierced right through me. I was like a deer in the headlights, unable to move as she came and wrapped her arms around me. Her fluffy night gown felt heavenly against my clammy skin.

"Oh, honey," she cooed in my ear and I just burst. My walls came tumbling down. My dry eyes became torrents, leaking black tears onto her white robe. The mascara streaked down my face and I just stood there, hugging her, holding on to her as the buried pain rose to the surface.

I could hide from myself, my friends, even Ash, but I could never hide from my Mum. Even Dad had the same effect on me but only once the stubborn stare-downs and arguments were over. Dad didn't do emotional so it made hiding how I felt easier around him.

I don't know how long I stood in Mums arms but eventually I peeled away from her and sniffled as I went back to my room. She gave me a kiss on my forehead as she tucked me in; similar to when I was younger. Then I was left in the darkness, left to the memories of the night.

I had gone out on the town with Rianna. I needed to dance and Rianna was up for the weekend. Unfortunately my plan didn't quite work out as I thought. Sure I danced, drank, flirted, and enjoyed myself. Rianna seemed to have a sixth sense about heartbreak so she made sure that I forgot all about it. She set the guys up around me, each new one being more drunk or worse than the last. Then he stepped up to take a chance. Jack.

He had stopped stalking me and went back to square one, trying to play nice. I had been ignoring his texts and voicemails till he stopped contacting me. I couldn't figure out where he got my number from since I certainly hadn't given it to him.

I forgot all about this when he danced with me. I was too drunk and he knew it.

I didn't leave when he said hi.

I didn't leave when he started to dance with me.

I didn't leave when he pulled me closer towards him.

I **couldn't** leave when he locked his hands around me and he forced my lips to his.

I gagged at the feel of his lips on mine but he was too strong to escape from.

Rianna stepped in when he tried to drag me out the door. My feet stumbling on the sticky floor

His grip was painful on my wrist that still occasionally ached from his last contact with it. He bellowed in anger, his face mere inches from Rianna's. I was scared for her safety even though it was my wrist he was holding.

The bouncer's soon stepped in, taking him off me and kicking him out. We went home shortly after that.

No one else knew about the situation except Rianna and that was the way I intended to keep it.

I shook my head to try and erase the memories but they were burned in my brain. All the while I could see the eyes of the poster staring at me. Golden and glowing.

I knew they could see me and I knew I should feel embarrassed to have such an emotional display on show to them but I was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I just closed my eyes and drifted, leaving reality for the dream world I both loved and hated.

The dream world where Edward's arms surrounded me and kept me from harm, kept me from myself.

* * *

My mouth was furry and rancid the next morning, but I soldiered on. I grimaced every time I thought back on last night's memories. Why had I let Jack get so close? Why had I been so naive, and _stupid _? I literally hated myself for what happened and I wondered just how far I would let my stupidity go. Would it become my final downfall? My ending?

A shiver ran down my spine as I thought of just how bad things could have been last night, and just how bad I had let things get. My lank hair, tired eyes, sallow skin, they were just the tip of the iceberg and I cringed as I wondered just how big the iceberg was. I hadn't stopped to self-reflect and I worried that I was more of a mess than I thought.

I ate my breakfast of coffee and toast, making sure to finish it completely. I was done going hungry. Or at least that was my motto of the moment. No doubt by the time evening came I would be drinking myself silly and emptying the contents of my stomach into the nearest bar toilet.

I cringed as I thought about it. I knew it would probably happen, but I also knew I hated it. I had never been the kind of person to embrace a downward spiral, but now that I was one I knew the pull it had.

There had been so many mornings when I had woken up and vowed 'never again' and yet with every passing hour my demeanour changed and it soon became 'go again' instead.

I sighed as the silence of the house ate away at me as it had recently. I could almost hear the portal calling to me from upstairs and I soon snapped out of my trance to find myself at the bottom of the stairs.

I huffed loudly and stormed into the back lounge, throwing my body onto the large black sofa and snapping on the TV.

_Trisha, wonderfully. Make yourself feel better by listening to other people's miserable, pathetic, lives._

My mind thought bitterly, so I flicked around until some inane property show came on. I could fall asleep to that show. So I did.

I passed out on the sofa and let all my promising plans for the day fly out the window. I would waste the day on the sofa as usual until night came and the darkness claimed me – in more ways than one.

* * *

"What has she done to herself?" A feminine voice called through my dreams, so pretty, so soft, but so angry.

"Oh! She's so thin. You can feel her ribs." Another woman, concern was thick in her voice and sadness laced the end tones. I felt like I squirmed under her words because I knew they were true.

"I know she'll hate me for coming to you but I didn't know what to do. The idiot's been going out all the time, barely eating, plus she smells like a hobo. I was worried she'd infect my clothes with her stench." Ashleigh. I knew that voice far too well. The annoying little...

I groaned as consciousness started to come back to me.

"Quick she's waking up," Alice, that was definitely Alice.

I felt my stomach churn. I didn't want to see the Cullens. No, that wasn't right. I shouldn't see the Cullens. I wanted to see them too much, that was the problem. I wasn't supposed to be here.

"Holly, sweetie, wake up. There's some food here for you." Esme.

I opened my groggy eyes and saw Rosalie, Alice, Esme, and Ashleigh standing around the sofa I was still slumped on.

A waft of chicken soup and chocolate cake seeped up my nose and I felt my mouth water as my stomach rumbled loudly.

"Have you actually eaten today?" Rosalie asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes glared at me, challenging me to argue with her. She looked amazing as usual and I felt my self-esteem take a major hit.

"Yes. I had coffee and toast at breakfast." I mumbled as I moved my aching body into a sitting position. I could feel my hair sticking up in odd direction due to the mixture of sweat, alcohol, hairspray, and smoke.

"That was six hours ago." Ashleigh placed her hand on her hip, staring me down as if she were the older sister not the other way round.

Then again, I'd hardly been much of a sister the past month. I'd hardly spoken to her, or seen her. Not that it was her fault. It was all mine. The whole mess I was in was my fault.

"I think I shower is in order before you eat. I'm not sure if I can stand the smell." Alice pinched her nose a she offered her hand.

I stared at it a moment before I took it. So cool and yet so comforting against my skin. I felt like I was running a fever but maybe it was just my body battling the alcoholic toxins.

Was I still in dreamland? Because it certainly seemed that way.

Here I was with the Cullen girls in front of me acting as if we'd never been apart. As if I'd never abandoned them and hurt Edward.

I wobbled up the stairs behind Alice as she led me to the bathroom.

I had missed her so much; I placed that down to the reason for the tears rising in my eyes.

I sniffled loudly and Alice turned with sympathetic eyes. They were so wonderfully golden that I realised my memories hadn't done them justice.

"Oh, Holly. I've missed you so much." She grasped me in a tight hug and I returned it fiercely. I'd missed the little pixie and her fashion obsessive ways.

"I've missed you too, Alice. All of you. So much. I just...I'm sorry for..." I mumbled as I looked down at myself. My baggy t shirt hung off me, and my plaid bottoms were too loose to stay up without the drawstring being pulled tight.

I was apologising for so many things. The state I was in, the way I'd just left Edward, the way I'd just left all of them. So many things to apologise for.

"Holly, there's no need for sorry. If anything we should be apologising. We knew what was happening but we stayed away. Edward's decision, but still we could have overruled it." Alice rubbed my back as she talked.

"It's not his fault. It's mine. All mine. I ruined everything." A new hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see Esme and Rosalie. Ashleigh was watching me from behind them and I smiled slightly at her. She had organised this even when she knew I was avoiding them for a reason. She had gone behind my back to help me, it was such a mature thing to do and I loved her all the more for it.

"There will be no more apologies, it's behind us now. Just promise you'll visit again. We've missed you, dear." Esme gave me a light hug and I nodded as I dabbed my eyes with my t shirt. I noticed Esme's concerned eye's examining my skinny waist, so I dropped the t shirt immediately.

"Quick shower, then you're having something to eat." I smiled at the stern tone in her voice and walked past Alice into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I undressed quickly, trying not to looks at how my ribs showed through my skin, or how my hips jutted out unpleasantly. I just hurried into the warm water and let it rinse over me. Cascading down over my hair and running over my tired skin.

I stood there and let it wash away my sins. Today would be different than all the others, today would be the fresh start.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

That dark month passed and along with it came others, all rushing past me as if time was on fast forward.

It had been a near eternity since I'd seen Edward. He hadn't visited and he was never near when I was in his world.

His name was never mentioned unless I asked how he was. How Bella was.

This wasn't often, I may have considered him my friend but I wasn't a masochist so until the sharp pain that hit me every time his name was mentioned, dulled to an ache. I wouldn't inflict it on myself.

When I was around the Cullens I hid the pain as much as possible. Jasper helped me by keeping me happy hiding the heartbreak with smiles. Since the night of the dance me and Jasper had spent a lot more time together, he was like an older brother. Not the same as Emmett but he was always there in the background making me feel better.

I knew my act wasn't convincing them completely, they noticed my avoidance of anything related to Edward. They never questioned me about it and I thanked them silently every time I left their world.

I knew Alice was desperate to understand, especially since Jasper appeared to know more than her. She hated being out of the loop. I would find it funny if I felt capable of laughing without it sounding false.

They kept me busy, Alice took me on shopping trips, pamper days, sleepovers. Emmett told jokes at every possible moment. Rosalie even let me invade her privacy as we sat talking whilst she fixed up the jeep. I remembered the look of surprise on Emmett's face when she asked me to follow her down to the garage.

It turned out listening to her explain how everything worked and how it all fitted together gave me something new to enjoy. I found myself at home looking up mechanics. Rosalie even came over every Sunday night to watch Top Gear with me. Dad found it fascinating that a girl like Rosalie could enjoy watching three middle aged men talk about fast cars.

All the attention and distractions didn't stop me from missing him. Not just because of what I felt but the friendship we had. I missed talking about music and listening to him play.

The sound of his laughter or the way his face looked after running. The look of exhilaration and excitement.

That rush he felt after speeding through the forest. He'd often take me with him and we'd sit by the river messing about, talking about anything and everything. He'd ask me about my opinions, likes and dislikes. We never seemed to have a dull moment or a time when we had an awkward silence, everything with him was just easy. I did notice that although we often walked in the forest we never went to his meadow.

That was something that proved I never meant more to him than a friend. Only Bella would see the meadow, it belonged to her. Edward belonged to her, like he always had.

This thought carried me through the weeks away from him. He was happy now.

I could remember that dark month so well, when I thought that if he was happy it was time for me to be happy. That horrendous night before the darkness ended, when Jack had went a step too far.

I regretted that night since the morning after, the texts started again. They were lewd and disgusting filled with vulgar lust that made my skin crawl.

No matter how much I tried to ignore them they bothered me; there was something more threatening about the way he worded them. Rianna made me promise not to go near him and it was a promise I had no problem keeping. I changed my number yet again.

It had crossed my mind that I should tell someone, and I knew the Cullens noticed how my face blanched when I received another text from Jack in my world. However, in my mind, there was no reason to involve the Cullens; there would be nothing they could do in this world without raising awareness of their existence.

My parents were both crazy busy at work (as usual) so I didn't want to add to their problems. I didn't even feel right telling Ash. So I kept it silent and ignored the nightmares of his hands all over me.

The nightmares were just the tip of the ice berg when it came to my sleep problems. I often dreamed of Edward and the world I wanted so badly. The world where we were together with nothing being affected by our choice. This dream was worse than the nightmares about Jack because they didn't temporarily scare me they cruelly reminded me of him. The choice I had made that forced me into this situation.

When I was home I was a pathetic wallowing mess, I didn't have the same zest for life, the same drive to go out and make an adventure. Even when I got accepted to university it didn't thrill me, when I celebrated with my friends I couldn't ignore the part of me that wanted to have Edward there. To see that little spark of pride in him that I was going to university, following my academic dream.

_Stop moping Holly._

I huffed and turned off the TV I wasn't even watching. I was sick of sitting in the house alone. I wanted to see the Cullens. It had only been a week since I last saw them but I wanted to be surrounded by people, just so that I didn't have the space in my head to focus on everything.

I sprinted up my stairs and through the poster. I hadn't arranged to see them but they were used to me just coming.

"What happened, Edward? We've waited months for you to explain and you just sit there silent! I'm sick of it! I care for that girl, she's like my sister and something happened to her that night at the dance! What changed? I thought I understood how you felt. You don't just drop something like that!" Rosalie was screaming at Edward upstairs. He was here, and I had to leave.

I turned to the portal. The screaming had stopped and followed by still silence

"He's gone. Don't leave" Esme's voice came quietly from behind my turned back. She sounded distraught. I felt bad that Edward felt the need to leave because I was there. Esme loved her family and I was making her choose between me and her first son even though I never meant for it to happen.

Hurting someone like Esme was inexcusable.

"Tell him to come back" my voice showed I wasn't sure about my decision. Maybe if I just faced him, had him in the same room. The months apart had given me some strength. If it meant Esme would have her family back together I could be strong enough to look Edward in the face and smile.

"No he needs some time to himself anyway, he's had a rather hard time lately. As you probably heard Rosalie's rather angry with him." Esme's smile was sad.

"We all are." Alice had arrived at my side with Jasper. The calm he emitted eased the tension that had built in me.

"It's not his fault, really it's mine." I glanced at Jasper wondering if he had told anyone about my feelings. The slight shake of his head gave me the answer I'd been hoping for.

"He can't be blameless, we all saw you that night. How could that be from nothing?" Alice had thrown a fit that night when she saw my makeup till she properly took in my expression.

"Believe me it's possible, How are things with Bella?" I was an idiot but it was the best way for me to get them off the topic of the dance.

"I'm sure they're two idiots in love. He refuses to bring that waste of space here and sits like some weird ass peeping tom watching her sleep. When he isn't wasting his time with that insipid girl, he's hunting like he's on the point of starvation every three days. He's depressing to be around. Living with him is even more of a chore than it was before." Rosalie had joined us and I had hoped she would bring better news.

"Oh." It was all I could say. I was expecting to hear him happy and the whole family embracing everything Bella brought to their lives. Could it be possible I'd misunderstood Rosalie? That she was just biased? It wasn't like she hid the fact she didn't like Bella.

"I think he misses you." Esme looked cautious when she told me, as if it could make me fall apart.

"I miss him too, but I don't want to get between him and Bella. She doesn't seem to like me much" I smiled shyly at the last part. I felt bad for not telling them the whole truth, sure part of me staying away was for Bella's benefit but I knew the main reason was to help myself get over him.

"Holly can I talk to you for a moment, somewhere private." Jasper offered me his hand.

"Sure." I was puzzled how exactly you could have a private conversation in a house full of vampires, but I took his hand and he slung me on to his back, racing out through the forest.

I didn't feel the same as when it was with Edward but the speed still made my heart race. He finally stopped in a small clearing, putting me down and patting the rock next to him.

"OK, Jasper, what's with the secret meeting?" My voice was flat as much as I wanted to put some humour into it. I missed the fun Holly.

"For months now I've kept your feelings from Alice. I've said nothing to Edward. No one in the family has any idea what you feel. But it's been too long Holly and you're still hurting." His eyes were soft as he spoke to me, his Texan accent coming through now and then.

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts you Jasper. I'm trying."

"I don't want you to try anymore; I want you to talk to Edward. It might help." Fear ran through me at that prospect. Was he crazy?

"About what Jasper? Huh? You think I want to hear him talk about how wonderful life is with Bella? You think that would help? I miss him so much, just being around him, being his friend. But what sort of friend I am that I can't listen to him talk about his relationship? That just the mention of her name from his lips would tear me up inside all over again. I'm torn between wanting him to be happy with Bella and just ...wanting him." My rant lost all its power by the end, my voice just a disheartened whisper.

Jasper smiled.

I realised I had finally said it out loud. I had admitted to wanting Edward. After months of Jasper knowing and just waiting for me to say it, I'd finally caved. Somehow telling someone didn't hurt quite as much as I thought it would. It was like finally releasing everything and just openly accepting it eased some of the turmoil, the strain of hiding it.

"You need to talk to Alice, she'll have answers for you. If you ask the right questions." I hated when Jasper went all Mystic Meg on me.

"Jasper what you mean? You know Edward doesn't feel anything for me, so what possible answers could Alice give me. Plus I don't feel comfortable just telling her. You only know because it's impossible to hide from you. I don't like sharing my feelings; ask my family they'll tell you. I'm not that kind of person" I took after my Dad on the emotional front, unlike Ash and Mum we preferred to bottle emotions up. Cover the touchy feely stuff with sarcasm, stupid jokes and silly nicknames.

"Talk to Alice, come on. You can do it now." He grinned, and we were off back towards the house before I had any time to argue. I was reluctant but he flooded me with courage and confidence. He was going to make me spill my heart out whether I really wanted to or not.

Alice was waiting, she'd obviously had a vision of our return.

"Come on, I told the others to go out for a bit. Well except Jasper obviously, but I'm guessing he knows whatever's going on anyway." She gave Jasper a pointed look, obviously displeased that he was keeping it from her. To be honest I was amazed he'd managed. It seemed Jasper would deny Alice nothing.

I took her hand and we walked towards the living room. I could feel my heart racing a little at the idea of what I was about to do. Take that leap into the unknown.

I sat there for a few minutes contemplating how to get the answers I think I needed. Jasper had left it pretty vague but I thought there might be a way for me to decide my place in this world without revealing too much of my emotions.

"OK Alice I need you to see something for me.." Before I could even get started on my request she had stopped me.

"I can't see you. You're pretty much invisible in my visions. Not a black hole of anything and the visions still work. It's like you're a ghost or something."

I thought about this, it rang a bell. Reminding me of a dream I had once had. A strange one with weird voices I couldn't name. I shook it off and continued with what I had to do.

"That should still work, hopefully. I'm going to make a decision and I need you to tell me everything you see, don't skip over details."

"No problem." She crossed her legs on the sofa and focussed.

She was ready now it was my turn to get in the zone. The first option I thought possible was continuing as we were now. Except I would swallow my pain.

I had a clear image in my head. I wouldn't say anything to Edward about how I really felt but I would try and maintain some kind of friendship with him. It would hurt but I could be with him as a friend it was more than I thought possible given they way I'd left him but it was worth a shot. He would have Bella at his side always and although it would bother her that I was often around I'm sure the reality of having Edward would blind her to any problems our relationship created. It would only be till I died, I had no intention of being changed.

That was the decision I made. To be Edward's friend whilst he remained with Bella. Never to take it any further than friendship.

I kept that decision in my head. My mind set on it. All other ideas were let go.

Alice's eyes glazed over. At least this meant my idea was working.

"I see Bella happy. Very happy. She's standing next to Edward his arms around her, she knows about us I think. He's smiling down at someone beside him. He's happy. Now he's in Bella's room she's asleep. He's humming something, I don't recognise it. " She hummed the melody Edward had first played to me on his piano.

"OK next." I cleared my mind of the idea I thought would be easiest, the middle option. Next up was the extreme I hated.

I imagined saying goodbye to the Cullens, leaving them in their world for the last time. Tearing the poster from my wall never to tell Edward how I felt. To just live in the world I was meant to live in. Without him in my life at all. I felt like my heart was burning from the betrayal I would have to make. The idea of giving everything up already brought my mood to boredom, living a life that would seem monotone and lifeless compared to what it had been with the Cullens.

Once again Alice's eyes glazed over.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT! No No No Holly! You can't leave us, please!" Her face was heartbreaking.

"Alice, please just tell me the vision, don't make this harder than it already is."

"We're all standing watching the portal close, then it shifts and Edward is sitting in front of the mirror, his eyes are black. Rosalie and Emmett have left, I can see them leave, we don't know when they're coming back. Jasper is miserable. Bella isn't with us; she's somewhere hot and sunny. She's not very clear but miserable. Then it shows her and Edward arguing she doesn't understand what's wrong with him."

This shocked me. I knew my decision would hurt temporarily but the breakdown of the relationships I'd loved scared me off that decision completely. I never wanted to leave them and now I can be certain that running from the problem wouldn't help.

The final decision filled me with excitement. I filled my head with images and thoughts that I had suppressed for the past few months. What it would be like to tell Edward I loved him, to finally be brave enough to just give up my heart completely.

Alice's face burst into a smile.

"I see Edward lying in his meadow, his arm is out and he's looking down at the ground. He's playing at the piano smiling. We're all in the living room happy. Bella is in her room, crying but she smiles when the doorbell rings. Then it goes black." Her eyes focussed on me.

"I like the last one." She smiled at me.

She knew, I hadn't said anything and she knew.

"Alice, the first vision is better for everyone, if I don't tell him anything he can have both. He can have Bella and still have me as a friend. He'd never have to know."

Rosalie burst through the front door.

"I thought everyone was out?" I was a little hurt that she'd been eavesdropping.

"You're both IDIOTS! How can you be so BLIND! You hurt yourself thinking being with BELLA will make him HAPPY! And he hurts himself by trying to be with Bella because he thinks it makes YOU happy! You're both SICK MASOCHISTIC FOOLS!" Her volume made my ears ring, but what she said made the wheels in my head start to turn.

"But that's how it's supposed to be. Bella is everything he'll ever want. I just want him to be happy, to be with Bella." After seeing the visions, my argument was losing steam. Doubt was washing through me.

"Have you ever thought that to Edward those are two different things?" Alice didn't raise her voice but her words carried just as much frustration as Rose's.

Could it be possible I was making the same mistake as Edward in New Moon? Thinking I knew what was best for the other person and leaving them no choice.

Something still nagged at me.

"He loves her, I'm sure of it."

As soon as I said it I started to question what I had said. I thought over all the times Edward had mentioned Bella. I couldn't once remember him saying those three words. I had always just assumed, read between the lines and come up with the wrong meaning?

"The monster may love Bella but the man, Edward. Does not" Rosalie stared me dead in the face as she said the words that collapsed everything I thought was certain around me.

"B-but...the bo-book," I stuttered.

"Honey, screw the book, this isn't a fictional story. This is real." Rosalie's voice was soft.

Rosalie was right; it had never been fictional or ran perfectly with the plot of Twilight. I never thought of them as imaginary characters, they were my friends, real people that I loved and I was risking hurting all of them just because I was scared of going off script? Too scared of the possibility of having to make them live through a different destiny other than the one Stephenie Meyer had written out, when I didn't even know if that destiny was better or worse than the one that seemed to chase us now.

I needed to get away, to think. I couldn't face this now. I needed my safe haven. My cove. The washing tide, comforting cliffs, and wide open horizon.

In that place I could think, look outside the boxes. Finally open my eyes to the situation.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The waves rushed at the cliff bottoms. The high tide meant I couldn't go down to the cove. It was like the world was against me trying to think things through. Like it had other plans for me before I could settle my confused mind.

I made my way back home deflated that my special place was denied from me today; the one day I felt I really needed it.

I yearned for the feeling of restlessness to be erased. Ever since returning from the Cullen's house and my eventful talk with Alice I had done nothing but think of the peace that waited for me at the cove and now that I had left without experiencing it I felt desperate and irritated.

It was in this state that I caught the sight of Jack about twenty feet behind me.

His black hood may have covered his face, but I knew his walk. I had learned to recognise it after his bout of stalking me a while ago.

_Seems stalker boy is back with a vengeance_

I was almost home, one more turn and I'd be in my street.

My house was right in the middle so 100 metres to complete safety.

I took another glance behind me, he was closer. I could hear his footsteps quickening on the pavement. Ten feet away and I started to speed up.

Five feet, and I turned into my house, opening the gate in a hurry to be behind my front door.

I reached for the lock fumbling with my key to get it in. I could see the reflection of him standing at my gate in the window of the door.

"Got you running scared have I?" The ice in his voice made the hairs on my neck stand up.

I said nothing.

"You can't ignore me forever, Holly, soon you'll have no choice but to face me." I shut the door behind me, blocking him out.

I ran to the safest place I knew. My bedroom.

I gave in to the fear he instilled in me and hid. Curling up in my covers and hiding from everything.

Jack.

Edward

The decisions I had to make.

* * *

I stayed in the house for a few days, still avoiding everything.

I felt like a damn captive in my own home. The idea that he could be out there waiting for me chilled my bones.

I had planned to tell my parents everything but I had been so wrapped up in my own world that I had forgotten they were visiting friends in Bath the other side of the country.

Like they did every year around their anniversary. I had rang them to make sure they were having a good time. When Mum asked me how things were at home I mentioned that Jack was bugging me but agreed to talk to them properly about it when they got back. It had just been for a couple of days. They'd be back tomorrow, I could hold off that long I had managed this far, it's not like it was life or death. I would survive without them.

I had made Ash stay at a friend's house; if I was going to deal with Jack I would not have her anywhere near. I had always been protective of her, even when we were younger. I could remember clearly the day she came back in tears after a boy had hurt her. That boy didn't walk straight for two days after I had a little talk with him and Ashleigh got an apology. It may have been cruel and petty but no matter what she does Ash would always be my little sister and because of that I would defend and fight for her any day, even the smallest of battles.

I took one last look in the mirror. I had become something that belong in a horror movie, dark circles round my eyes and lank hair hanging limp around my face. My skin looked sallow in the dim daylight, not the healthily happy glow it used to have. Ashleigh would be mortified if she saw me like this, she probably wouldn't let me leave the house for fear of her reputation. I smiled at this she was such a typical 15 year old thinking the world revolved around how popular you were, who was dating who, what you look like. I forgave her for it because I knew deep down she was capable of being such a strong independent person but until she worked out that high school wasn't everything I would endure the 'oh my god's' and nightly gossip topics.

I ran my hands through my lifeless hair and pulled it into a messy ponytail, straightening out my posture.

_Come on you can do this._

With that I left the house and walked towards my cove. Jack wasn't anywhere to be seen and with every step I took I relaxed.

He was all words and no action.

I felt silly for keeping myself locked up for no reason.

Whilst I was playing hideout I had been missing my favourite time of year. Spring.

May was always pretty where I lived, bluebells and daffodils sprouted from the ground that had been dead and cold in winter. The leaves coated the trees making them rustle with fresh new life. The weather clears giving us the odd day that's cloud free and lightly sunny.

Today was one of those sunny days. The bright blue sky above me set off the lush green grass that rippled with the light breeze.

As I made my way down the winding cliff path towards my cove I could feel the turmoil that had been bubbling in me shift into something that could be unravelled and solved. I could figure this out and come up with an answer.

I had always solved problems this way, ever since I was younger. The cove was the perfect place to sort through my thoughts and come up with something.

Of course in the past it would be a homework question I didn't understand, or a friendship problem that was bugging me.

Right now I was dealing with something so much bigger.

I started with the easy one first, Jack.

I rubbed the wrist he had injured, it still ached when I rotated it and there was something below the skin that didn't feel right. I should probably have seen someone after it happened but I thought I knew what was wrong. I now doubted I ever knew at all. Like so many things.

The Jack problem is easy to fix. I tell my parents and I tell the police. I still had all the texts on my phone, even on the two other old SIM cards. I also had Rianna's witness account of that night in town. They would do something about it; maybe I could get a restraining order put on him. It seemed extreme but I liked the idea of never having to have him near me again.

I felt a pang of guilt when I realised what my actions would do to the friendship group. He often came to the same parties and was friends with some of mine. I would disrupt all of that, was it really that big a deal I could try just talking to him seeing if he'll leave it. Just drop his twisted affection for me.

_Yeah right, tried that and it failed. Remember._

The memory of Jack's face when I had tried to talk to him about it made the decision for me. Police were the only way to go.

I set aside that issue, happy to be getting somewhere. My head already felt less of a mess.

Now for the decision I had been holding off ever since it became something to decide all those months ago in February.

Edward.

I pulled out my iPod and fixed the headphones in my ears. I had loaded Edward's CD a few months ago but I hadn't listened to it fully. It wasn't that I hadn't appreciated it or didn't like what I heard at Christmas. It was just that I was so busy around that time that I never really sat down and listened to the entire thing.

Then after the dance I couldn't bare the idea of listening to the emotion Bella's lullaby would surely hold.

I hit play and Esme's song chimed in my ears. I would let the CD play out as I sorted through the tangled mess of questions, facts and feelings in my head.

Alice's visions had shown me I couldn't just hide my feelings whether I wanted to or not.

If I ran from the idea of knowing Edward, just ended all contact and connection with him, his family, their world I would throw everything into misery. I didn't understand how my leaving could upset Edward so much but the idea of him sitting with black dead eyes made a lump form in my throat. I couldn't hurt him like that.

**Untitled melody**

The song changed and so did my thoughts. I wouldn't hurt him and it appeared that my leaving didn't help him and Bella. She was miserable, probably because he was miserable. It took his obvious feelings of abandonment out on her slowly destroying their relationship, eating away at the immense love Bella felt for him. That couldn't happen. I wouldn't put Bella through that and I wouldn't let Edward destroy himself just because I was too pathetic to face facts and accept that friendship with Edward was better than no relationship at all.

**The Meadow**

This song made me think of Bella. The two remaining visions each affected her in different ways. If I was to just continue being Edwards friend it was obvious from what Alice said that although she was happy she seemed to notice that Edward's attention didn't focus solely around her. This vision, although it didn't help me understand what I would feel, at least showed that Edward would be happy with us both in his life. Perhaps Bella and I could become friends, once she understood I could never compare to her. Once her confidence in hers and Edward's relationship was strong and solid.

**Bella**

The next song played and I struggled to understand the meaning behind it. The tone was a mix of happiness and sadness. It wasn't the lullaby I had expected, it wasn't the song he had played me that day at the piano. This song couldn't have been about Bella, not judging from the visions Alice had seen. Perhaps I loaded the song tracks wrong.

Everything about the tune suggested confusion and doubt but still rang with something that sounded like hope. The hope of something. Like he was a broken man just hoping for someone to put him together but doubting the ability of the person who offered to do it.

**Untitled**

Another melody played in my ears. This one didn't have a name and it didn't give me any clues as to who it related to. I assumed his family. It has so many different tunes that slowly came together to form something strong and confident.

The last of Alice's visions flitted in my mind. The vision that she claimed would happen if I finally told Edward how I felt. Part of me still doubted that she hadn't made it up. It wasn't possible that I could have been so blind to have missed Edward's feelings for me. There's no way.

**Holly's Song**

I waited as the silence ended. This was the song I had wanted to hear the most ever since coming to the cove. This was my way of reading Edward's emotions. He always poured his whole self into his compositions; nothing was hidden from the listener's ear. That's what made them so good, not his years of practice but the way his music let you feel what he feels. If only for a few minutes.

I still felt that thrill that he had written a song for me, but what had I expected he had cared about me. I was his friend. I noted my use of past tense in my rambling thoughts. Had I lost it all? Would he even want to go back to what we were after I left him to sink or swim?

The notes started to play out in my ears and my mind clicked. Alice's final vision played out in my mind in time with the music. The melody that matched perfectly with that of the song he had played for me all those months ago. The song that filled me with images of him and Bella in love when I first heard it. It wasn't Bella's song, it was mine.

His heart wasn't Bella's to have, it was mine.

And all I had to do was take it.

Confess everything and accept him as my own and me his.

Happy tears flowed down my face.

The first vision Alice had showed him with Bella but he smiled for me. He lay with Bella asleep but sang for me.

Rosalie had been right. For someone who appeared so wrapped up in herself she had noticed something that I was too blinded to see.

Edward loved me.

But what of Twilight? Jacob? The Volturi? James, Laurent, Victoria? Renesmee? Even Kate and Garrett, Irina and Laurent.

There would be no Renesmee, no child at all. I had no wish to endure what Bella had. I wasn't brave enough for that. Plus I wasn't at a point in my life to even consider children. No matter the circumstances. Her birth was the one part of the saga that didn't sit well with me. I just couldn't see Bella and Edward as parents, especially when I knew Renesmee would age and be the same age as them. The dynamic just seemed too extreme for me to picture it well.

Also, without Bella as a vampire the Cullens would be vulnerable to the Volturi. I already knew that they feared the Cullens' size, so they must already have plans to attack just waiting for a reason. What if I was that reason? The Cullens wouldn't stand a chance. They could all die because of me, including the other covens that helped, if they even offered to help. Would I be reason enough? Renesmee captured their hearts in an instant, but I was just a human that had screwed everything up for them. I doubted they'd feel quite the same need to protect me, no matter how much I meant to the Cullens.

The avoidance of James, Laurent and Victoria was probably a plus. But it wasn't certain that they wouldn't be implicated in some other way. Perhaps James would still want a human pet and if the fight went the same way as in Twilight there would still be a possibility of the newborn army and Victoria's revenge. Would they still survive it? I had no connection with the wolf pack so they would have no reason to interfere.

Then there was the issue of the portal. If any other vampire found out about it, my world would be in danger. My whole family would be at risk. I would fight any vampire till my death to stop that from happening. Even if it would be a fight I would surely lose.

I was dizzy at the problems that crept out of the woodwork once I started to really think about it.

Jacob could still become close friends with Bella; she would be heartbroken if Edward did end up with me. But Jacob would be there for her. Perhaps he would be happy. Bella wouldn't be as wounded as she was in New Moon. She could let herself feel something for him.

_He'd never imprint._

My mind brought up another issue. Without Renesmee Jacob would never find his true soul mate. But what if I had changed the story enough that Renesmee wasn't his imprint anyway? It was farfetched but so much had already not happened and characters were slightly different. I hadn't even talked to the Cullens about the wolf pack. Maybe they haven't phased. So many things could have been altered, just thinking about it made me realise there was still so much I didn't know about this new Twilight world.

I could still somehow fix the lost couple, Kate and Garrett. There may even be some obscure way to find Laurent for Irina but it sadly seemed unlikely.

The final issue that came to me was immortality.

If Edward loved me, as he did Bella in Twilight, how would he cope with my death? I would die at some point and the idea of him killing himself hurt too much to think about. But I couldn't imagine myself as a vampire. Even when I read the saga it was never something that attracted me unlike some of my friends. Even Ash liked the idea, but I think she was dazzled by the beauty and supposed glamour of it all.

What would I do if Edward and I were together, what kind of relationship would that be? Would he leave his world? It didn't seem right for him to leave his family. Although my world he would have no thirst at all. Then again, my parents would realise he wasn't aging and that alone could cause problems. They still didn't know what he was, or where he came from. In fact, I was amazed they trusted the Cullens so much since they knew so little about them.

Could I leave my world? My family? The idea brought I lump to my throat. Maybe if they knew about the portal and could keep it a secret. I'd also have to make sure it was safe for them. That there would be no way of the Volturi getting wind of the portal, all the opportunities it created for them. No thirst but an endless food supply, the freedom to disobey their own laws without criticism.

I would lose everything I had worked towards, University, friends. I'd never go to university unless the Cullens could bribe one in their world to let me in, but even then I didn't want to be some charity case for them to fund.

I'd have to give up my friends, unless like my family I could somehow keep them in my life. The thought of introducing them to the Cullens made me smile. They were total fangirls, and I could imagine the shock and excitement on their faces. But could they be safe and keep it secret. Would it be too amazing for them to keep it quiet?

The idea of me and Edward became less and less likely the more I thought about it.

I wanted Alice's last vision to be true so badly, but I could settle for her first one. Perhaps I could just be there with Edward showing him I loved him every day but never really saying it. Just pretending to be his best friend and dreaming of something more.

_But Bella._

Guilt ran through me. I couldn't do that to Bella. To break her heart once by being with Edward is one thing. But to flaunt my love for him on a daily basis whilst he was with her was cruel and I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't work, she'd never accept me and that would drive a wedge between her and Edward.

I sighed as the seagulls soared through the air and waves stroked the shoreline.

Perhaps I wasn't the one who had to make this decision.

Was it possible for me to let Edward and the whole family make it instead? If I gave them all the knowledge they needed I wouldn't feel like I was the only one with a decision to make. I wouldn't feel like whatever choice was made had cheated them of something.

The books were the only option.

I would give them the twilight saga to read. That way they would know everything I knew, I wouldn't be withholding anything from them.

I considered just giving Edward the books as I told him how I felt but it seemed wrong. It wasn't just him who would be affected and although it was his life he needed to listen to the views of the others. I wouldn't say how I feel till they had reached a decision and even then I could feel that I might not be brave enough to take the plunge.

I understood that Alice, Jasper and Rosalie knew my feelings but it was possible they could see reason and be objective about the situation rather be afraid of hurting me.

I smiled properly for the first time in months. I had a plan of action and although I was far from through with it, it felt good to know what I was going to do.

I left the cove happy.

* * *

I sat on the large white sofas of the Cullens living room, my knees bouncing nervously as my bag sat next to me. I was eager to reveal everything to them, even if so much hanged on what they said. Possibly the next 70 years of my life.

Alice had called them back from a hunt to join us. Edward included.

I could feel my heart flying at the prospect of seeing him.

Alice was excited, she knew what I had brought from her ability but didn't know what they would mean.

My eyes darted to the doorway as the rest of the family filed in. Emmett charged up to me spinning me in a bear hug. As Jasper took his place next to Alice.

"Missed you kid," he said as he plonked me down on the floor. I'd only seen him a few days ago, so I knew he wasn't just talking about actually seeing me. I was finally back to my old self. I was done with moping. It was time to live. To love the life offered to me.

Rosalie gave me a knowing nod and smile as Esme and Carlisle followed behind them. Edward walked past me without looking. I ignored the twinge of pain and doubt.

Once they were all arranged on the sofas I stood.

"So you're probably wondering why I got Alice to call you here."

"Is something wrong, honey?" Esme seemed genuinely worried, not surprising given that last time I saw her I was still trying to cope with life without Edward.

"Hopefully not, I wanted to give you the chance to know the full story." Carlisle looked interested immediately.

"I've thought a lot about it and this seems the best way forward." I opened the bag and pulled out the 4 books that could change everything.

I finally looked Edward in the eye; he was watching me with flat dark eyes. They weren't black but he wasn't the Edward I had left behind.

_Yeah that's because you left him behind._

I held up the books.

_Edward, I need you to understand why I did what I did. I hope this helps_

His eyes targeted the books in my hands. I walked over to Carlisle and placed them in his open arms.

"I would like each of you to read them; I can wait in my world while you do. I think you'll understand when you're finish that there is a lot to be discussed." I left the room and went home to wait it out.

* * *

The hour that followed was the longest hour in my life.

No hour had passed slower.

By now they would know everything.

I lay on my bed staring at my white ceiling.

"Holly." Carlisle stood between our worlds with his hand extended towards me. I stood slowly and placed my hand in his. He led me through to the living room. They all sat in silence, blank expressions on their faces. The four books lay stacked in a neat pile on the glass coffee table in the centre of the circle.

I couldn't look them in the eyes. I had kept all this from them and possibly ruined their lives as it seemed unlikely Twilight would ever be exactly the same.

Of course it was possible for them to continue with life and see if certain events happen but it was obvious nothing would be quite the same.

I felt a twinge of guilt at what I had taken away from them. From Edward.

"I'm sorry I kept you in the dark." I stared at the floor. I just wanted someone to say something to break the silence.

"Why are you sorry?" To my surprise Edward had spoken. No emotion showed in his voice.

"I'm sorry for forcing myself into this world, for everything I've caused, for the things I've changed, for the things I could take away from you."

"You haven't forced yourself into this world, we welcomed you, Holly. We could never regret meeting you. You've brought so much to our lives." Esme seemed hurt that I thought I was unwanted.

"But I've changed the story so much. Everything in those books as been altered. It's possible for some things to be salvaged but the majority of it is lost."

They all knew what I was talking about. Their happy family. Bella, Edward and Renesmee.

"Do you think we've lost anything we would miss? The danger of a newborn army threatening our family, the threat of the Volturi, the stress inflicted by those three nomad vampires? All for that _girl_. And to be stuck with her for _eternity_! Why would you think I would like that idea?" Rosalie would of course blame Bella for everything.

"Bella saves you all, in so many ways. There's a happy ending, you could be an aunt, Rosalie. Like a proper family." I wanted Rosalie to see that. To see that Bella wasn't the curse she thought she would be.

"The only benefit I see is that Eddie here gets his happy ending, and I get to rip up some newborns." Emmett winked at his innuendo, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Typical Emmett all about the fun side of sex and violence.

"You've obviously thought a lot about this, Holly," Carlisle said, I knew he wanted me to explain.

"Yes, Carlisle. It's played on my mind for a while now. I would even go as far as to say it has been in my mind since the moment I understood the portal. I thought I could find a balance. That I could be a part of your world without altering the story I loved. As time passed I noticed things weren't as I expected them to be. Bella wasn't exactly as I thought she would be. Events that should have happened to bring her and Edward together didn't. I desperately wanted the story to be real. I wanted Edward to have Bella for eternity because that was how it was supposed to happen." I looked at Edward. His eyes shifted to Carlisle and they seemed to exchange a silent conversation.

"You were right that Bella was different. In the book she was my singer and her mind was silent to me. She is in fact my singer. But her mind, although harder to hear than others is not silent. It took me a while to hear actual thoughts instead of mumbling or gurgling but eventually I could hear a faint voice." Edward forced out.

This change was obviously caused by my presence. I had thought my effect had gradually changed the story but Edward's confession told me I had in fact changed it the very day I met him.

I was always fighting against something that was beyond my control and by doing this I just hurt the people involved.

"I hadn't realised. I thought if I just stayed in a neutral situation, stayed away from anything that could prevent the story from happening. That's why I never told you about the van, I needed Edward to save Bella."

"Do you realise the risk you put yourself at? You almost died!" Edward was angry now, and I finally understood why. I was his Bella. I was important to him. But was I still important to him? After all I left him without a second glance.

"I wasn't expecting me to be the one at risk; it was supposed to be Bella."

"But you knew there was still that possibility." His eyes finally softened.

"That's neither here nor there. I need to know if you forgive me for what I have done. You can still try to have what's in these books. I think that happy ending is still possible."

"There's nothing to forgive, Holly." Jasper smiled at me.

"I don't want that happy ending, Holly, because you're not in it." Edward stood and walked towards me. We stood taking each other in for the first time in three months.

"But I could be in it. I want to be in it." He took another step towards me, his eyes growing brighter with every step.

"We could go back to what we were, best friends. I only ever stopped because I panicked. I was certain my presence was ruining your chances with Bella. Alice showed me otherwise." He stayed where he was; he came no further as his eyes searched mine. I didn't let love enter my eyes, just hope and regret.

"Holly, I..." Alice started; she looked at me because she knew I was chickening out. I couldn't tell Edward. I wanted to but fear suddenly choked me. What if he had changed his mind? He was still with Bella. His feelings may have changed.

_Stop trying to avoid it._

"Thank you for understanding. It feels so much better to get it off my chest." I beamed round the group. Jasper, Rosalie and Alice all seemed confused. Emmett just grinned like a fool, happy that things could go back to normal. Carlisle and Esme seemed happy that I was happy and Edward... Edward just nodded and gave me a slight smile.

Maybe one day I would get the guts to tell him, but it wouldn't be today in front of his whole family.

_Edward_

He looked up slightly. His eyes staring up at me from beneath his lashes.

_Meet me tomorrow at 6pm at the swings._

With that I left. I hoped he would come see me but I had my answer if he didn't. Maybe as I soared through the air I could find the courage to open up and tell him. I liked to think I could.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's note: the big day :D wooo!**

Today was the day everything would be fixed.

My parents get back at two. I was looking forward to seeing them. The week without them had been hectic and I wanted a hug from Mum and to be called silly nicknames by Dad. Plus with them being at home it meant that I could finally sort out the Jack problem.

Ashleigh was back already, buzzing round her room unpacking her overnight bag. She'd had a fun time at her friends, but it seemed three days together had been more than enough time. She was like me in that sense, she needed time to herself.

Best of all, the reason butterflies were flying round my stomach, I would say the three little words that I had waited through hundreds of one night wonders, several high school crushes and a few failed infatuations, to say.

I love you.

My smile widened at the possibility of hearing the words that would complete me.

I love you too.

I skipped to the shower and sang my way through it. Belting 'Starstrukk' by 3oh!3 as I washed away the lifeless mask I had been wearing recently.

Wrapping the towel round my body as I bounced to my room grabbing my clothes and heading back to the bathroom to get ready, it had become a habit I got into ever since discovering the portal. I was wearing my favourite dark blue skinny jeans with a dark purple empire line top and matching purple pumps.

It was only ten o'clock, and I was buzzing. I needed to burn off some of this energy before my parents got back, they'd probably think I was on speed or something.

A walk. That's what I needed. Fresh air, sunshine.

"I'm going out Ash, I'll definitely be home before Mum and Dad get back, I've got my phone so call me if there's any problems."

The grunt from upstairs clarified she heard. With that I opened the door with a smile on my face. Today was spring at its best. The birds sang, the sun shone, white fluffy clouds drifted through the sky. Today was definitely a beautiful day.

I weaved my way through my hometown, smiling at people I didn't know. I took a detour through the streets towards the coastal path. There was a route that went along the whole of the edge of the cliffs letting you look down onto the long stretches of beach and rock pools. My family and I used to walk along it when Ash and I were little. This was when my dog Puddles was still with us. Now we rarely went out on walks together, except when it was especially nice at a weekend. Time just ran away from us somehow, but we didn't worry because we had our whole lives together - a million moments to fill our memories.

I felt uneasy as I saw a small black car pull out in the corner of my eye. I searched for a reason for me to feel this way. My memory had always been good, that's why I could remember small details most people didn't. Or drunken nights that should have wiped out all memory remained.

I knew that black car. Why couldn't I get it out of my head?

I turned another corner; the coast was in sight, the blue sea stretching out to the horizon.

That was why I liked the coast, the endless sea. The way it went on forever leading to so many different places. Just by crossing an ocean you could experience something you'd never seen before.

I sighed and made my way across the empty road, my iPod pumping out 'Fireflies' by Owl City. I loved the images it brought to my mind; such fantastical pictures that just made you feel happy, full of life.

But then it came out of nowhere, the same black car, roaring towards me.

The driver could clearly see me standing here, but he wasn't stopping.

I had no time to run from the road, but I tried anyway. I had to escape, this was my day. It was supposed to be the best day of my life. The way it was looking now was that it would be my last.

_I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes,_

_I got misty eyes when they said a farewell._

Adrenaline pumped through me, and my legs forced me forward. He would still hit me, but I could at least try. I wasn't giving up on life so easily.

_I like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowly._

Time slowed as the car neared me; I stumbled and fell to the ground.

As I fell to the ground the car hit me. I spun from the impact my head smacked off the curb, and I felt my leg shatter from the force of the car.

I screamed in agony, the pain was unbearable. My breaths sucked in, but I couldn't feel the relief of the oxygen recharging my blood. I was panicked, and I felt like I was drowning from the haze that flooded my brain.

I heard the screech of tires as the driver hit the brakes.

_Sure, now he stops. Too late jackass!_

Footsteps sounded on the ground. I couldn't see the owner, but I could hear his ragged breathing.

"Look what you made me do! YOU BITCH!" Jack's panicked voice was angry and crazed.

"Why did you make me do it? I just wanted you! You wouldn't accept that we we're perfect for each other! Now LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!" He sobbed and shouted, kicking at the ground.

My head was fuzzy, I was numb. I knew I was broken, but I couldn't feel it. Even his voice distorted and faded in and out of focus.

He was angry? HE was angry?

He was delusional.

And he had taken away my perfect day.

I hated him with everything in me. My whole body burned and boiled with anger and hatred. If I survived this, though I thought it was unlikely, he would suffer.

I had made the fatal mistake and misjudged him. Labelled him as too weak to follow through, just empty threats. I now paid the price for my naivety and ignorance. I just wished that price was my life, I just wanted that chance to tell Edward I loved him. Just once even if it was the last breath I took.

Just to see his eyes looking into mine for one last time.

My eyes started to close and I let the darkness take me, there I could be alone with my bitterness.

_Because everything is never as if seems_

_When I fall asleep..._

* * *

"Holly Jules. 18 year old female. RTA hit and run. Her left leg is shattered, her head has an injury and there has been some bleeding, she has cuts and bruises a long her left side where the car hit her. She'll need a full body scan, x-ray and possible surgery on her leg. We're trying to contact her family now."

Muffled voices rushed into my darkness. My head pounded and every heartbeat brought more pain. I didn't want this pain, I couldn't cope with it. I wasn't strong enough. I gave up on trying to stay conscious and felt my body slacken once more as I fell into the abyss.

* * *

"HOLLY! HOLLY! OH my poor baby girl!"

My mother's voice tore through the darkness I loved. The pain in her voice, forced me to open my eyes, only to see white above me. Slowly I could feel my body waking up, distorted voices and sounds became clear. Beeps around me became sharper. Pain was muffled by drugs but still so present. _Where's Jasper when you need him._

"Mum." I barely made a sound, but it was enough for her worried face to come into view.

"Holly, you're OK. You're going to be OK. The doctors said they had to fix a tear in your artery in your left leg. You have a cracked skull, and they've given you drugs to reduce the swelling they found on your brain."

"Jack?"

"He's in custody, that bastard will pay for what he's done to you." Dad's voice was darker than I thought possible. I felt his hand on mine.

"Baby they found an injury on your wrist. Apparently it couldn't have been caused by the accident. It was an old fracture that had healed wrong; it's about three months old. Do you remember how it happened?"

"Jack." I couldn't say everything I wanted to. My head hurt too much for words to come easily.

"Oh Holly? Honey you never said anything! And now look at you." She stroked my face and I flinched a little.

"how long have I been out?" I could feel my voice gaining strength as I tried to clear my head from the haze.

"They brought you in around twelve, you were unconscious when they got to you. Someone had heard the accident and called the ambulance. It's now four, but they had you knocked out for the operation." Dad stuck to the facts, he didn't complicate it.

A knock sounded at the door and a man in a white coat walked in. Even in my state of drugged up blur I could tell he couldn't look as good in that white coat as Carlisle.

"Mr and Mrs Jules is the whole family here?" His voice sounded wary. It was bad news, I knew it. My maternal side kicked in, I did not want Ash to hear whatever he was going to say. My parents would handle it. They would stay strong for Ashleigh. I wanted to wait till I understood everything before I told her. She would just overreact and get upset. The last thing I wanted was to see her make herself ill with worry.

"No, I don't want Ashleigh here. I want to hear what you have to say before she finds out." My voice was steady since I had managed to regain a little more control of my body.

"If that's what you want. There is no way for me to avoid this, Holly. I wish I had better news." The doctor seemed nervous, wary of telling us what was written on the chart. Written in ink, but set in stone.

My Mother's gasps were muffled as she turned into my Father's shirt. I remained remote, no emotion held me now. I nodded for the doctor to continue.

"As you know your artery was greatly damaged. When we operated we noticed that you had a clot caught within your artery. We gave you blood thinners to try and remove the clot but the trauma to your leg has caused new clots to form and increase its size. We've tried every drug we have but we've run out of options. The clot is building faster than the effect of the drugs."

My Mother's sobs continued, she knew what this meant. She was a nurse; she knew what clots could do.

I looked in my Dad's eyes, they were brimming with tears.

I had never seen my dad cry before, and I felt a lump form in my throat.

"How long?" I breathed out the question that would give me my time limit.

"Two hours, maybe three. It depends on the speed the clot travels and whether it goes to the heart, lungs or brain."

"What will happen?" The idea that I was talking about my death didn't seem to register. It was like watching some hospital based drama. I was just a character, this wasn't real.

"If it goes to your heart you will suffer a heart attack. The cardiac muscle will be starved of oxygen and your heart rhythm will become erratic until it stops." He seemed uncomfortable talking so strictly about the end of my life. I felt not such discomfort, I wanted to know everything.

I had learnt about the process of a heart attack in biology, it would be painful but quick.

"If it's your lungs, they will stop taking in air and you will die from lack of oxygen."

This option panicked me; I prayed it wouldn't work out that way.

"Finally if it travels to your brain you will suffer a paralysing stroke causing you to become brain dead."

This option would hurt my family the most, even if it would be painless to me. It would be up to my parents to turn off the machines. To stop me from breathing. It would kill them to be the ones to stop my heart from beating.

"We will make you as comfortable as we possibly can, you will be given the option to be sedated when the clot nears its destination to prevent any pain that may occur. I'm very sorry I couldn't bring better news." The doctor left and I could hear my parents crying softly in the corner of my room. I couldn't bring tears to fall.

"Mum, Dad, could you give me five minutes to just think?" Mum's eyes were red with tears but my dad nodded and led my mother out the room.

This was it, I was to die at eighteen years old.

My own blood was going to kill me.

I had two hours but I would probably be sedated for thirty minutes of that.

That gave me ninety minutes to tie up the loose ends in my life.

I reached for the pen and notepad that sat on the desk beside me.

Ninety minutes to say a lifetime of thanks you.

I started with the easiest letter to write, there would be five in total. They wouldn't be long, but I would make sure that for once I showed my emotions. I wouldn't be a coward for the last ninety minutes of my life.

**Letter 1:**

_To my loving parents,_

_No parent should have to see their child die before them, but I hope it helps to know that although I only had ninteen years on this earth, I wouldn't change a single thing I did. You have always supported me and shown me more love than I thought humanly possible. You cannot blame yourself for what happened to me, guilt would only tear you apart. Jack is the only person who's shoulder must bare my death. Justice will make him pay for what he has done. Look after Ashleigh, she needs you to be strong. Live for me. _

_I'll love you always_

_Your Holly-Berry_

**Letter 2:**

_Ashleigh,_

_My baby sister. We might fight and annoy the crap out of each other sometimes but I wouldn't change you for the world. I love your vibrant personality and your ability to see excitement in everything you do. I wish I could stay to watch you grow up, discover yourself. Fall in love. But I can't, I know it hurts to read this but I need you to promise me that you will live everyday as if it's your last. I love you Ash, never forget that._

_From your big sis_

_Xxx_

**Letter 3:**

_To my girls._

_There are so many things I love about you. You have shaped my life and made me who I am today. I can't thank you enough for being there with me through the good and the bad. Don't cry when I'm gone, I never did like tears(as you all know so well, remember my awkward jokes __). My family gave me the life I lived but you helped me live it to the fullest and for that I thank you._

_Your Forever Friend_

_Holly_

_Xxx_

**Letter 4:**

_Dear Cullens,_

_I had hoped that when this day came I would be old and grey, but we can't choose our own fate. Perhaps it's for the best, though I doubt you'll see that yet._

_Carlisle, you taught me so much about life. About how it's not the cards your dealt but what you do with them. I doubt I would ever be able to find a person human or otherwise who showed more compassion than you do. And I am honoured to have met you._

_Esme, from the moment I met you I adored you. You treated me like family and for that I will be forever grateful. Do not be sad, someone like you should never be sad. _

_Rosalie you're gorgeous, smart, strong, you were like the big sister I never had and I wish I could go back to the times we spent bad mouthing models and drooling over the latest fast car. You taught me to follow my heart and I couldn't have asked for more. Thank you._

_Emmett keep them laughing, I loved your ability to find good in everything. You were full of fun. I'll miss your smiles (and those adorable dimples :P )._

_Jasper you helped me through my darkest time. When my world crumbled around me you helped me rebuild it. I can't describe how much that meant to me. Words would never suffice. If I could ask one last thing, help him whether he asked for it or not._

_Alice keep Ashleigh entertained, she loves you as much as I do. You're such a happy person it seems unreal. You made these last 7 months the best of my life. Don't feel sad that those months were my last just be glad that we had the chance to have them._

_I love you all._

_Holly_

**Letter 5:**

_Edward,_

_There's so much I want to say to you but as I sit here it seems the words escape me. My pens poised over the paper and my minds running a blank. Don't you just hate it when that happens?_

_I could run through all the memories we shared together, but I wouldn't do them justice and your memory is so much better than mine so I guess you don't need reminding. However, I wonder if you realise that all those memories, even the early ones when we were still figuring each other out, all of them were special to me. Every moment I was with you the world seemed a little brighter, a happier place._

_I know my time is short now so although there are a million things I want to tell you, share with you, none of it really matters. Not that they aren't important but more that they're insignificant in comparison to what I have longed to tell you for months now. To put it simply, I love you. I'm yours, mind, body, and soul. I always have been even when I didn't know it, and I always will be even if I can't show it. (And I'm a poet, and I didn't know it... Sorry for the lame joke.)_

_I know you'll blame yourself for this but please don't. You couldn't have done anything to stop it. It was just what fate had planned for me. Be happy, live life, for me (that's an order not a request __)_

_Forever and Always_

_Holly. X_

* * *

An hour had passed. It wasn't spent wasting tears and tissues, but instead reminiscing about days gone by.

I knew my parents were only doing it to keep me happy, I could see the fresh red rims on their eyes every time they re-entered the room.

I still hadn't told Ashleigh, she just thought mum and dad were worried about my leg. I had said my injuries were pretty serious but for her not to worry. The time was five in the afternoon. At six o'clock I should have been with Edward at the swings, instead I would be living the last moments of my life The doctor said the clot was moving at a rate that I will be sedated for a short period of time before...

I had thirty minutes left, and they seemed to slip by too quickly. Like sand running through my hands.

My letters were under my pillow, all except for the two addressed to the Cullens. I had given them to Ash saying they were just a way of communicating whilst I was in hospital. She had left, gone to get a hot chocolate with Mum whilst Dad sat with me playing cards like we used to when I was little. He had taught me my perfect poker face at the age of nine; it was coming in handy now as I hid the desperation inside me.

I wanted to stay with him for the last half hour but I was tired. I told him to wake me up when the doctor came, I was exhausted my injuries finally taking their toll on me. My eyes fluttered closed and I dreamed of Edward, but this time there was no heartache.

**Author's note: only one chapter left, then an epilogue.**

**Be great to get your opinion, but thanks for taking the time to read it xxx**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Holly-Berry."

"Honey, you need to wake up."

"Please, baby, please open your eyes."

I heard the sobs of my parents and peeled back my heavy lids.

The room was still and sombre as a man stood with the needle, thick clear liquid distorted the numbers on the side bending them till they blurred.

That liquid held my end, the final moments of peaceful slumber before I took my final breath.

That last heart beat.

Those final thoughts.

I couldn't say I was as prepared as I was earlier. I hadn't had time to go through the five stages of accepting my death, but I could feel them all rushing at me now.

Denial made my hands shake.

_This isn't happening! I'm only nineteen. There must be something that can be done, someway to stop this from happening. _

Anger flooded my head with red, images of Jack's broken body and widened fearful eyes.

_Why did he have to do this? Why me? Why can't I have the happy ever after that seemed so close just a few hours ago?_

As the anger rushed the weaker side of me begged for a miracle, bargaining with a God I had never paid tribute to, to save me just this once.

To give me a chance to tell Edward I loved him, to be with my family. I was scared of the darkness that would impound me. Keep me prisoner till the hope of life left me completely.

The idea of leaving the people I loved behind brought the depression to the surface. My parent's watery eyes looked on at me as I sat with tears rolling down my face. Edward wasn't here to wipe them away and they stung at the wounds I had.

I hadn't even had the chance to tell Ashleigh. My baby sister was going to resent me for not giving her the chance of a proper goodbye.

Would the letters be enough? Enough to give some form of peace to the people that I loved but was forced to leave behind?

I voice broke out from the tight hold I had on it, a loud sob piercing the room. My parents rushed forward and wrapped their arms around me as I felt into them.

"Don't be scared, Holly." Dad's voice comforted me, but he couldn't bring himself to say the lie that everyone claims when a person awaits death.

Neither of them said: it will be okay.

Because it wouldn't, not really. There's no way leaving everything behind could ever be okay.

We sat in our huddle for a few more minutes as my mind settled from the onslaught it had endured. Jack had taken everything from me but he couldn't take away my dignity, my right to die peacefully and prepared.

I wouldn't put them through it any longer; each minute I waited to go to sleep was another minute they had to endure the grief of watching me go. Waiting for the moment I closed my eyes for the final time.

The final stage washed through me as I parted from my parents.

Acceptance.

I had lived a life many would dream of.

I had experienced things that seemed impossible.

I had known people that could light up a room, make you smile, be there whenever you needed them.

I had lived and even though it was cut short at least I could say I hadn't wasted these 18 years.

I didn't regret my decisions or actions because they had led me along this road.

Full of twists and turns, bumps and ditches.

I had spent my life looking out to the horizon in front of me excited for the next adventure rather than constantly checking the path behind.

I turned to the doctor and nodded, I wished I could stay awake for Ash but perhaps it was better this way. I didn't have much time left and as selfish as it sounds I hadn't wanted to spend my last few moments watching my little sister fall apart.

If I saw her tears fall I would never let the doctor send me to sleep, I would rather sit and ease her pain than worry about the death that slowly caught up with me.

This might seem like a better option but I knew that it would hurt them so much more to watch me die that it would watching the monitor slow to a flat line as I lay there in what could be a deep sleep.

My parents held my hand as the doctor sent the drug into my body.

"You're a very brave girl Holly Jules." The doctor stood and watched over me with my parents. His eyes showed the sadness of having to watch someone so young die before him. That he couldn't do anything to stop it. Even modern medicine couldn't fight against death when it had chosen you.

I could feel the drug taking effect, my limbs went heavy and my body relaxed from its tense state.

I knew the darkness would come soon as my eyes drooped.

"Tell Ash I'm sorrwwy... letterssss under pillllow."

I needed to tell them one last time.

"I luvvfff yooo." My words slurred, and I saw mum try to break a smile at how silly I sounded.

She couldn't manage it, not quite.

I felt my eyes closed again and this time I wasn't aware of them opening.

* * *

Silence.

Darkness.

Completely numb.

I didn't like this state of mind.

I didn't feel aware of anything and it bothered me. It was so unknown.

The silence pressed on my ear drums.

I felt prisoner in my own body, only my mind held any semblance of being present.

I felt claustrophobic.

Finally all sense was lost.

I was lost to the darkness, as it consumed everything I am and everything I ever was.

* * *

White light surrounded me; it was so much better than the darkness that had held me prison for what felt like hours earlier.

My body felt light but relaxed as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Perhaps life itself.

I couldn't feel my body but I looked down to find a long flowing white dress that seemed to blend with the mist covered white floor. As I stared at the floor trying to find my feet I saw a hand reach out to me.

I knew that hand.

It was Edward's hand.

I linked my fingers with his and it didn't feel cold, it felt the same as mine.

I panicked and tried to pull it away.

"Ssshhh." I looked up at Edwards honey eyes and relaxed instantly.

Why was I worried, Edward was with me.

I brought our intertwined hands to my lips brushing them against his pale skin.

"I love you." It felt nice to say it, even if I had had to wait till death.

He smiled bringing his other hand to cup my cheek.

I lent my face into his palm.

"I love you too."

His words seemed to make me glow.

His bright smiling face leaned closer to mine.

"Spend forever with me?" He was inches away from my lips, his smell making my mouth water.

"Forever." I replied, a smile in my voice as it echoed.

His lips crushed to mine, and I felt sparks sizzling through my veins.

As he pulled away I heard a faint monotone beep circling us. I knew my life as I knew it was over but I couldn't bring myself to care because I had my very own Edward here with me for eternity.

Edward and Bella would fix what I had ruined. They would continue together, I wouldn't spoil that happy ending. I was never meant to be a part of that world and destiny had fixed that problem.

I was just the sacrifice that had to be made.

But now I had my own happy ending, for eternity.


	22. Epilogue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ashleigh's POV

I loved my sister more than anything in the world. She was always there for me from when I would fall during my first steps to when I needed help with my homework. She was always there to help me through it.

Now she lay in a hospital bed looking like shit all because of some idiot with a car.

Bruises covered every inch of her perfect cream skin. I had always envied her for her looks though I never told her. She however told me I was pretty every day. Now I regretted that I'd never said it back.

Her hair that used to flow down her chest in beautiful curls not sat lank and bloodied against her head.

Her sapphire blue eyes didn't sparkle anymore and were surrounded by more bruises making them appear puffy.

Her pouting lips were swollen, her bottom one split.

Yes that idiot with the car was going to pay for what he did to my big sister.

She had given me two pieces of folded paper to give the Cullen's later tonight but the hospital made me anxious and irritated so I figured there was no harm in delivering them a little early. It would do me good to get some fresh air.

I told mum that I was just going home to get some stuff for Holly; after all she would need some of her personal things around her whilst she got better.

I couldn't understand the look in mum's eyes it was like panic but she let me go anyway.

I was home by 5.30, the hospital wasn't that far away and the taxi was quick. It waited outside as I bolted into the house. I entered the portal and called out. I was in a hurry and wanted to get back to the hospital as soon as possible, so as soon as Rosalie appeared I thrust the letters into her hands and rushed back to pack some things for Holly.

I gathered her iPod, a few books, her sketch book, pencils, along with some pictures of her friends. I was busy zipping up the bag and turning towards her bedroom door to leave when I realised her room felt too cold. It didn't feel the same as when Holly was around, even if she wasn't in her room it still felt safe and warm. It would be nice to have her home again. She filled everywhere she went with smiles and warmth so now the house felt oddly deserted.

I finally got to the front door, as I turned to close the porch door behind me, Edward and Carlisle appeared. I jumped, I was kind of used to their speed but it was freaky how they seemed to just appear from nowhere.

"We're coming with you, and we're going now." They bundled me into the taxi and Carlisle told the taxi driver to step on it.

Something was wrong; something was in those letters that Holly hadn't told me.

For the first time since seeing Holly in the hospital unconscious and being rushed off to surgery, I felt fear. I felt like I was rushing against a countdown I hadn't even known existed.

I glanced at Edward next to me. He looked distraught like someone had murdered his puppy then flaunted its dead body in front of him.

"Carlisle, what's happening?" My voice was shaking.

"We were hoping you could tell us." Carlisle's voice remained calm and I tried to stop my shaking to give him the answer he wanted.

"Holly was in a car accident. Hit and run. They operated on her leg because it was shattered and she's got some bruising on her brain."

"Is that everything?" Carlisle seemed confused. As if that wasn't enough.

"As far as I know." We were at the hospital. Edward dashed from the taxi and headed straight for the entrance, Carlisle closely on his heels. I stumbled confused at why Edward was acting like this, him and Holly were just good friends. Sure there had been times when I thought there was something more between them on his side but Holly was always so closed up with her emotions.

I soon reached Holly's room to find my parents crying into each other whilst Edward bent over her broken body, his own shaking with silent sobs. Carlisle was trying to comfort him but he seemed past help.

"W-what's wrong with Holly." I dropped the bag where I stood and went over to see my big sister. She looked so peaceful like she was in a deep sleep.

My blood ran cold. She couldn't be, she was my big sister. We were supposed to grow old together two old ladies. She was not supposed to die at eighteen. I wouldn't let it happen. She was still breathing but it was slow. I wanted my big sister back.

"Change her." I whispered silently, but Carlisle turned and looked me in the eye.

"I can't do that Ashleigh; she knew this was going to happen. She'd accepted it. I can't force it on her." She had known? And yet decided not to tell me! I felt anger at her for trying to protect me from her death. As if not knowing it was coming would help the situation, she had decided to let me go on thinking she would come home and fill the house with her presence.

Her crazy dancing, soft keyboard music, awful cooking. Those things would never happen.

My parents were oblivious to mine and Carlisle's conversation it was just whispers, unable to interrupt their bubble of grief.

"She hasn't, she wouldn't do that. She never told me. Please save her." My voice had become hysterical. It finally caught the attention of my parents.

"I'm sorry Ashleigh; Holly didn't want you to know until they sedated her. She's only got half an hour left hour at best." Mum looked worn out. I knew she wouldn't ever be the same if Holly died. It wasn't just Holly dying today, it was our whole family. It would fall apart, I loved my parents but I needed Holly she mediated between us.

"Do something, you can still save her." I was begging Carlisle and his eyes showed his pain at having to deny me.

"Edward? Please?" Edward finally looked up from his vigil by my sister's bed, he was a broken man. His eyes burned with the tears he wanted to cry but couldn't.

"You could have her forever." It was my last chance and I felt the lump in my throat choking my words. I always cried so easily, Holly always laughed when I'd burst into tears at killing a fly. She was so much stronger than me, so much more constant. Her emotions didn't predict her actions it was always the other way round.

"Edward?" Carlisle's voice was questioning as if just merely waiting for the permission. Hope flashed through me. Just a gesture from Edward and I could have Holly back.

"Carlisle, go home and get the tetrodotoxin." Edward's voice filled with hope. He turned towards my parents. They were confused and it was understandable.

"I'll be back in five minutes, it will take a few minutes to take effect then we'll have to sign for the body which could take a couple of hours. We'll move her into our world and complete the change there. Hopefully the tetrodotoxin will buy us some time." With that Carlisle vanished from the room out the window, his form was just a blur. No humans would see him on his journey.

"Edward what is going on!" My Dad's confusion had turned into anger whilst Mum clung to him terrified of what she had just seen.

"Mr and Mrs Jules. My name is Edward... Cullen. I want your permission to save Holly." My dad seemed suspicious but it was my mother that understood who he was completely. It was hard not to once you heard the surname, Holly had talked about the twilight series nonstop when she first read it. It got to the point that Mum and Dad told her to shut up about it. I hadn't realised my parents never bothered to ask for the Cullen's surname. What kind of trusting idiots are they?

"Oh my god! Oh my god! This isn't possible; I don't understand how this can be happening." She stood her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth. I went to her wrapping her up in a hug.

"It's OK Mum. We can't explain everything now, but do you understand what he is?"

"You knew about this? How the hell did you manage to keep it from me and your dad?" Mum seemed more shocked by our ability to lie than the fact a vampire stood before them.

"It wasn't that hard, are you OK?"

She nodded and gulped, seeing Edward in a whole new light.

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on!" Dad hissed in anger.

"Jason, he's a vampire, I don't understand how but he's the one Holly read about in that Twilight book" Mum seemed to ease out of her shock.

Carlisle came back through the window and turned to my parents.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. We have become very close to Holly over the past seven months that we have known her. Her situation has distressed my whole family. But with your permission I would like to give Holly another chance."

"What would you do?" Dad was still speechless, but I was proud of Mum's strength in the situation.

"Firstly we would inject Holly with this neurotoxin, which would slow her heart rate, metabolism even her breathing to a point that she would be declared dead. This would not only slow the clot enough to keep her alive but would also give us a reason to remove the body from the hospital. Once the she is signed off we would have her transported home to your house. I would take her through the portal to our world where the change would happen." Carlisle's soft voice kept us all calm.

"What do you mean by change her?" Dad had woken up and he was wary of the vampires in the room. Edward had remained silent just clutching my sisters limp hand.

"Vampires have a type of poison at our disposal. If someone is bitten by us this poison or venom spreads throughout the body and changes it till they become like us. She would be immortal; she would never die, or age." He seemed solemn when she said this last part. I had never understood why he hated what he was. Perhaps I was naive enough to only see the benefits. Live forever, look beautiful, and never get old and wrinkly. Good times.

"Could we ever see her again? Could we be there with her as she changes?" Mum could easily ignore what her daughter would become if it meant she would be able to hold her in her arms again.

"I would hope that would still be possible, as vampires we are very different. We survive on only animal blood. I would hope that as long as the portal worked you could visit her as much as you wanted and her you. When on your side of the portal our thirst does not exist so she wouldn't be a danger to you. As for being present for the change we would have to take precautions but you could probably be there."

"Do it," Dad said with authority and Mum met Carlisle's questioning eyes and nodded.

"Save my little girl."

It was all Carlisle needed. I beamed, my sister was going to survive this and when she woke up I could spend forever with her.

Carlisle swiftly injected Holly with the neurotoxin as me and my parents watched Holly's heart monitor slow.

Edward stayed at her side his lips moving but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

A flat beep filled the room.

Holly Jules was declared dead aged eighteen, and that day the world seemed a little colder.

**Author's note: As if I would be so cruel and just kill off Holly. I'm nowhere near done with her yet.**

**You know the drill, tell me what you think. Only this time I would love it if you could tell me what you thought of the whole story, plot, character's that sort of thing. Did you have a favourite chapter? Why? I'm just being nosy **

**The sequel (oh yes!) is called Fall Through The Stars so look out for it depending on what life throws at me it could be up next couple of days or it could be next couple of weeks. Who knows.**

**Finally a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed this story! It's been awesome hearing what you thought, especially when you picked up on the little things. **


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